Photo by alicepopkorn

But wait! Does this mean I can no longer call myself a bonafide traveler? In some ways, yes. Mostly, no.

Travel isn’t about having the crazy-hard story to tell, about the time you got stuck on the bad side of town with no idea where you were after missing your boat and ended up sharing your mat with a chicken. Although those are fun stories to tell. Travel also isn’t just about visiting the wonderful sights and experiences this planet has to offer, although that’s a huge part of it. I mean, imagine if I left Iceland never having visited the Blue Lagoon spa? (Which, by the way, if you’re going anyway, I suggest visiting immediately upon arriving in the country. There’s an airport bus that will take you and your luggage to the spa and then after, when you’re properly relaxed, to Reykjavik.)

True travel is something else.

There’s a certain openness of spirit common to all Travelers.

Your eyes, ears and mouth open wide to even the most mundane of daily events, and each sense welcomes the new without expectation. It is, dare-I-say-it, exactly how a child sees the world.

Travel is about adapting to the new and allowing experience to wash over you without judgment. It’s about rolling with the punches and not rolling your eyes.

And it is each person’s choice to see the world as a Traveler or not, just as happiness is so often a choice. Living in one place with one job and one weekly schedule, it’s easy to believe the restlessness or even unhappiness you feel comes from routine. Of course, it’s easier to see the world anew each day when in fact, everything you’re seeing is actually new, but it’s also just as easy to recreate your routine on the road.

The challenge, at base, is to view each day, each event and each moment with fresh eyes, because no matter how little luggage you may bring along for your next trip, you always bring yourself.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

How far do you go to see something new in your world?

Photo by Roldan Smith

The whole world is big on census taking. New Zealand, Canada and Australia conduct censuses every 5 years, and the UK every 10 years.

Some people are put off by the practice. Discovering that envelope marked “YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW” is a little intimidating. After all, failure to provide the necessary information could result in jail time in the USA. That’s a big deal just for someone who doesn’t want their privacy invaded. Is this violating freedom of choice?

Privacy concerns

The official census website says your private information is never published, like names, addresses, Social Security numbers, and telephone numbers. The Census Bureau also cannot release this information to other federal agencies, such as law enforcement.

Photo by willhowells

In 72 years, however, the information is made public. You probably won’t be around to care, but at some point people are going to know where you were and who you were living with in 2010. This timeframe varies: in Canada, private information isn’t released until 92 years are up.

Is the census worth it?

Among many uses for the population count, the Bureau needs to know how to divvy up more than $400-billion in federal funding to be used for hospitals, job training centers, senior centers, emergency services and more.

In the past, some states like Alabama and New York with higher populations of low-income families had low participation rates. This means that it is likely some areas in need didn’t get the money they deserved. Would more inclusive involvement cause the money to be spread more evenly?

Also, these campaigns are costing an arm and a leg. In the US, $6.5 billion helps allow politicians to push all those lovely, guilt-inspiring televisions ads. There’s also an online map to track participation rates.

But this year the Census Bureau has devoted a lot of time and effort into stressing the importance of returning the information. For example, for the first time ever, a bilingual (English-Spanish) questionnaire is being handed out.

Also, those leading nomadic lifestyles are being counted in: the Bureau has hired some shamelessly persistent census ninjas. Chris Dunphy and Cherie Ve Ard of Technomadia were tracked down while on the road, despite having no fixed address. While a census taker showing up at an RV door is surprising, it’s really a good thing that nomads could potentially benefit from the extra effort. There’s even a Transitory Location Questionnaire specifically for people on the move.

What do you think? Could the census results potentially bring positive changes to the places that need it, or is it a total waste of time and an invasion of privacy?

Community Connection

 Loading ...

Photo by Evil Erin

April 15th. The day the Titanic hit an iceberg and Samuel Johnson published the first English language dictionary. This same day, Jackie Robinson broke the baseball color barrier with the Brooklyn Dodgers and Fidel Castro began a good will tour of the US.

But really most citizens of the United States know this day as Tax Day, the official deadline for filing individual tax returns. With a little knowledge and forethought, though, you can take at least some of the stress out of this hellish day.

Each year the amount of tax you pay depends on your overall earned income after deductions and personal exemptions. It’s your responsibility to inform both federal and state governments how much tax you underpaid during the year or how much you expect them to return if you overpaid.

Photo by lucyfrench123

What Deductions Can I Make

If you do go for Itemized Deductions, the federal government offers a variety of tax credits and deductions. The following are a few deductions a freelancer can consider:

Job-related equipment
If you buy something you need to do your work, it is potentially claimable. This might include a laptop for a travel writer or blogger, or a digital SLR and lenses for a travel photographer. A course such as MatadorU would also count, since you paid tuition to improve your travel writing skills. Same for any fees paid to professional organizations you belong to.

Gas mileage
If your home office is your base of operations, you can deduct gas mileage to client sites when using your personal car. Just remember to keep your receipts, and a good estimate of how far you’ve driven.

Higher Education
The American Opportunity Credit and Lifetime Learning Credits and Tuition Feeds & Deductions allow individuals and families to claim deductions on post-High School education that relates to your work. It’s important you keep all statements and receipts for expenses relating to undergraduate and graduate classes, as you might need to provide them when filing your taxes.
Note you couldn’t claim continuing education deductions associated with a course such as MatadorU, because the online school is not a registered college or university.

Photo by geishaboy500

Damaged or stolen property
If your personal or business property is damaged or stolen during the year, you can claim these costs as a deduction. Note that unless it was a big-ticket item – like having your personal yacht stolen by pirates – the value probably won’t reach the Standard Federal Deduction.

Charitable donations
If you’ve donated money to any charities, such as to the Red Cross after the horrific earthquake in Haiti, the donations can be claimed as deductions on your federal taxes.

Adoption
If you successfully or unsuccessfully adopted a child, under 18 years old, during your travels around the world (whether on assignment or otherwise), you might be eligible to deduct expenses such as: court costs, attorney fees, travel (including meals and lodging), and other miscellaneous costs related to adoption.

For more ideas
Check out 10 Deductions Freelancers Can Make, on Freelance Switch. The article also includes links for those paying taxes in Canada, Australia and the UK.

Filing an Extension

Missed the April 15th deadline? Or simply need more time to get yourself sorted? Filing an extension can help minimize the payments and penalties you pay.

Photo by HikingArtist

Filing for an extension, using the Application for Automatic Extension of Time to File U.S. Individual Income Tax Return, will give you an additional six months to file your taxes, buying you time to look for loose change under the couch so you can make a partial payment on your estimated taxes. You will need to fill out Form 4868.

There are some drawbacks to filing for an extension. There is a monthly penalty if you are filing late, approximately 5% of the amount due. And because you are making a late payment, you will have to pay interest on the amount owed, as well as a penalty which ranges from 0.5 to 1% of the amount owed.

More Tax Tidbits

Keep a copy of your filed tax records for three years, in case the government wants to review prior payments.

The more income you earn, the higher your chance of being audited by the IRS, as they will want to make sure you are paying the appropriate amount of tax.

There is no statute of limitations for the government to track you down if you file a fraudulent tax return, or decide not to file a tax return at all.

Check out Turbo Tax’s free Estimated Tax Calculator to figure out how much tax you will need to pay.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Have you tried any of these for yourself? How did they work? Do you have any tax advice for freelance writers? Share your ideas in the comments below.

Photo by Mr Wabu

I first learned of this custom of giving gifts on my birthday in college. I was working on a project focusing on Native American culture in the United States and found myself sitting somewhere near Greenville, South Carolina in the backyard of an Occaneechi man named John Blackfeather drinking beer and attempting to shoot his home made arrows. Before we left, he gave me an arrow and a dreamcatcher he constructed himself.

“It’s my birthday,” John told us. I must have given him a funny look because he continued. “Oh, we Indians are different,” he joked. “We give gifts on our birthdays instead of receiving.”

So that is exactly what I did. The only rule is it can’t cost money. This year, by the end of the March 20th, I learned how true a tired old adage can be.

It’s Better To Give Than Receive

Photo by Wonderlane

I’ve always thought this little saying was tied to an often misguided altruistic streak that runs through our common human nature, and many times, it’s only words. Thing is, in spite of all I write about finding the positive in things you dislike and trusting life, I’m really quite a cynical person. Ten-plus years living in New York City, I suppose, can do that to a person. This year, though, my little birthday experiment taught me more about generosity of others and gratitude than I ever could have learned by saying thank you for gifts bought and bestowed.

In the immortal words of every writing teacher I’ve ever had: Show don’t tell.

I was presented with 25 (so far) different challenges.

Fourteen of them center on writing, blogging, editing, researching or requesting particular subjects for upcoming blog posts. All things I do for my own work. Thank you for telling me that you respect my expertise and enjoy reading my writing enough to want more.

Five people requested we meet for coffee the next time I’m in Atlanta or New York. How could I possibly refuse people who tell me that when offered anything, all they desire is my presence?

Four seek travel advice. You value my opinion?

Pam Mandel from Nerd’s Eye View asked me to spread word about the TBEX call for entries. I’ve been planning to send in an entry myself but then forgot entirely. I didn’t even put it on my to-do list. Thank you for the reminder.

Matador’s own Nick Rowlands presented an interesting challenge.

I’d like you to write a letter – a proper, old-skool pen and paper job – to any friend or family member that lives overseas and you haven’t contacted for too long.

We all have complicated relationships in our lives. This is one for me. There’s one person with whom I haven’t spoken in three years. We haven’t written, e-mailed or called.This person had been one of my best friends for over a decade. Someone I wrote to regularly throughout college and to whom I turned when my life seemed most overwhelming. The story of what happened is filled with sturm und drang and I really can’t get into it here for many reasons, but last night I put pen to paper, sealed and addressed the letter I sent today.

Thank you, Nick, for this. I never would have reached out otherwise. Life is too short to hold onto complications.

What Would You Like?

I’m about half way through the list of challenges now, and as I fill each one, I find myself wishing there were more. I realize, too, how much courage it takes to ask another human being for a favor. These days, too often, it seems we equate wanting help with weakness. And even though my birthday has since passed, I invite all of you to request something.

That will be your birthday gift to me.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Photo by Olaf

Superpowers are back in fashion. Every other film these days involves some mentalist in an improbable costume, using their even more improbable powers to save the day.

But we don’t have to visit the movies or open a book, or flick on the TV to find superpowers. They are all around us. Technology advances so rapidly that abilities once confined to comic books are becoming a reality.

Here are five biggies that – if not already with us — are most definitely in the pipeline.

Flight

Who doesn’t want the ability to fly? Every journey becomes both a shortcut and the scenic route, and everyone wants you on their basketball team. And if you fly really fast in the opposite direction to the Earth’s spin, you can even turn back time.

Photo by Mike Licht

Since World War II, a load of work has been done on jetpacks, mainly with military applications in mind. Although the US government has decided they are not practical, Jetpack International has developed a commercial product. They claim it can fly 11 miles at speeds of around 80 mph, at a maximum height of 250 feet. Boba Fett eat your heart out.

Even better, in 2006 British newspaper the Daily Mail published an article speculating that UK special forces might soon be flying into combat using “batwings”. These six meter wings would allow troops to glide up to 120 miles before deploying their parachutes. Presumably they also came kitted with a pre-recorded tape, blasting out, “Bam! Crash! Pow! Zap!”

Invisibility

Invisibility cloaks were once the preserve of dragon-slaying heroes on a quest for swag and damsels in distress. Now, scientists in Germany are close to developing one for real. They managed to cloak a tiny bump in a layer of gold, bending light around it and rendering it invisible “at nearly visible infrared frequencies.”

Before you start planning your new career as spy, bear the following in mind: the bump was already so small you needed a magnifying glass to see it, and the lead researcher has admitted cloaking larger items “is not really feasible” with this technology. So it’s a step in the right direction, but we’ll still need to pay for our cinema tickets a little while longer.

Time Travel

Our obsession with time travel is understandable: forwards in time for a look at the lottery results; backwards in time to warn ABBA their music will still be polluting dance floors some forty years later… no wonder we get all tied up in knots.

According to physicist Michio Kaku, time travel is both theoretically possible, and not so riddled with paradox as we’ve been led to believe. He reckons time is like a river that can develop whirlpools and fork into different branches.

Photo by AdamL212

So if you go back in time and meet your mother as a teenager, and she falls in love with you, then you’ve crossed streams into a parallel universe. In this universe, she is not – and will not be – your mother. Which naturally means it’s OK to sleep with her.

Kaku claims multiple universes co-exist, but you’re only tuned in to the vibrations from one of them. So even though dinosaurs from a universe where they didn’t become extinct are standing in your living room, you can’t see them!

If time travel really is possible, someone should go back and shoot the guy who invented bloody quantum theory. Put us out of our misery.

Pyrokinesis

From The Human Torch to Pyro, the only thing cooler than being able to fly is being able to set stuff on fire. Although spontaneous human combustion remains a controversial topic, the Pentagon is lending a helping hand.

Their latest toy is a non-lethal weapon called the Active Denial System, designed for crowd control and slated for possible use in Iraq. It fires a burst of high frequency microwaves, heating the target in exactly the same way as your microwave cooks your ready-made lasagna.

While victims don’t burst into flame, they do feel an intense burning sensation, which is meant to stop once they get out of the line of fire.

Fictional company Pyrotech are currently developing a handheld version, aimed at techno-cannibals who no longer have time to boil their missionaries in giant cooking pots.

Immortality

This is the holy grail of superpowers, the one that obviates the need for any other.

Who cares if you can’t fly? Just take a plane like everyone else, smug in the knowledge that you really don’t need to listen to the safety announcement. Can’t travel forwards in time? No worries. Being immortal necessarily means you have time on your hands. Just chill a while, and let the future come to you. And if you need to burn something, buy a box of matches.

Photo (not of T. nutricula) by marfis75

Sadly, given our almost universal fear of death, immortality is one superpower we don’t yet have. But help is at hand, in the form of… a jellyfish! Yep, Turritopsis nutricula appears to be the world’s only immortal animal. This tiny hydrozoan can reverse the aging process, transforming from its mature form into its immature form, and back again.

This can theoretically go on forever, which means the animal is biologically immortal. But it is still vulnerable to violent death, which is something the boffins will have to work on if we ever want to achieve true immortality.

But then again, would you really want to live forever? That’s a heck of a long time. Perhaps being able to fly is better, after all.

Community Connection

Which superpower would you like to see technology make possible? What would you do with it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

New York City’s Verdi Square, located Broadway & West 72nd Street, right across the street from the 72nd street IRC train,has a complicated history.

As one of the city’s oldest parks, Verdi Square attracted many musicians – Enrico Caruso, Lauritz Melchior, Igor Stravinsky – until in the 1960s the square became a drug-infested neighborhood filled with crime.

Today, Verdi Square is entirely redecorated and landscaped, making it one of the most high-class areas of New York City to live in. It’s also the perfect location to capture snapshots of everyday, regular people as they go about their day.

1. “If this is not a real owl, then what the heck is it doing up here in this tree?”

2.How many cell phones can you count in this image?

3. A paradise for pigeons.

4. Rainy day in Manhattan on the way to Zabars for coffee and chocolate.

5. Oh, my. Oh, my. Is that what they’re doing on Broadway these days?

6. Bicycle nomad, meet mismatched-shoe lady.

7.So is this guy happy to be having this conversation or not?

8.Who needs boring socks?

9. Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane!

10. Who are all these guys?

11. Spring in Verdi Square.

12. And I love you, too…

13.Meditation in the sun.

14. Hit by a taxi, this man tells his story using handwritten signs. Another sign says he was hit by an 18-wheeler and and became paralyzed due to brain damage. Which do you believe?

Community Connection

If you’re curious about life around New York City, check out more resources.

Photo by tombothetominator

You can’t escape death, no matter what you do to prevent it. You can wear helmets, avoid dark alleyways, and wrap yourself in bubble wrap. If you chose not to ever leave your home, sit on the couch and dread the outside world, chances are the ceiling would collapse on your head. Or a freak tornado would rip through the house and toss you upside down.

Take the 38 year old father of two killed by a plane while jogging along a beach. I’m sure he didn’t get up in the morning and think, “I better not go for a run today, I might get hit by a plane.”

Or the female driver whose car was rammed by a lorry in England, resulting in her vehicle being pushed sideways along a motorway because the driver didn’t see her. Did she get back into her car the next day, or decide to never drive again?

Photo by kevindooley

I have lots of trouble dealing with death. The thought of not getting everything done in my lifetime is terrifying. The thought of not knowing what happens next is overwhelming. Yet there’s people that risk their lives everyday: firefighters, policemen, soldiers.

Death is a part of our daily lives.

The only way I can figure out how to deal with it is to look at it from a different angle. Like The Darwin Awards, meant to “commemorate those who improve our gene pool…by accidentally removing themselves from it.”

Take this one:

Down here in Florida we have some rabid Marlins fans. A few days before the Marlins game, two supporters decided to show their loyalty by constructing a paper banner. Wanting to display their efforts prominently, they chose the Metro Rail overpass at a point where it crossed a major thoroughfare. The banner would proclaim the superiority, not to mention the high testosterone content, of the city. Unfortunately, their plans were not altogether complete. Neither had the foresight to procure a Metro Rail schedule. As they hung the banner, the Metro thundered toward them. Both were struck by the automated train. One was killed, the other left wounded to tell the tale. The banner was unharmed.

Photo by cyanocorax

When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.

No amount of good luck will prevent it. Like the Italian woman who missed the fateful Air France flight from Brazil to France which plunged into the ocean killing all those on board, and then not long after died in a car accident.

Putting your fear and anxieties aside is necessary to live any kind of life. This means working outside your normal, everyday comfort zones and doing things that you often find challenging.

Comfort zones can be deceiving.

These zones are familiar and welcoming, and so they cause us to be less aware and cautious of our surroundings. Perfect example: I have lived in this current neighborhood for a year now. I walk to and from work, the gym, the grocery store and other parts of town at least four times a day. And while some of my neighbors are shady characters, I never imagined the police might find a grenade along the route I take regularly. But they did, just last week. In a town where crime rate is next to nil, there’s something hair-raising about knowing what might have happened.

Explore different ideas.

Take it one day at a time. Search for a different perspective on death, like the Mexicans who celebrate El Día de Todos los Santos (All Saints Day) and El Día de los Muertos (All Souls Day). These festivities come from an ancient indigenous practice centered on the belief that the souls of the dead return each year to party with the living. If the afterlife is just one big party, I’m cool with that.

Community Connection

How has fear kept you from doing the things you love? How did you overcome it?

Photo by Anne Merritt

Nick’s mum came to visit two weeks ago and brought Vermont maple syrup in her luggage. Since then, we’ve been giddy and liberal with the stuff; pancakes, fruit parfaits, and a big batch of our collaborative granola. Usually, we’re on different ends of the cooking spectrum. He makes healthy, hearty dishes, curries and soups. I make the unnecessary stuff, the pies and cookies and buttery comfort foods. But we come together to make granola, and I do believe our maple nut recipe is perfection.

After a week of granola gorging, our huge batch shrank down to some crumbs in a jar. Today we passed it back and forth between us, eating handfuls, wiping crumbs on our jeans, happily planning the next recipe. Cashews instead of hazelnuts? Raisins this time? It’s an amazing recipe, but there’s always room for change. I love that.

Want to try it for yourself? Here’s the recipe!

3 cups rolled oats
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup sliced hazelnuts
3/4 cup wheat germ
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1/4 cup sesame seeds
1/3 cup brown sugar

Combine all of the above in a large bowl.

1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 tsp salt

Combine the above, then pour onto the dry mix. Pour the mix onto a cookie sheet and bake for 1 hour at 250 F, stirring every 15 minutes.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

You can see more of Anne’s writing and photography and hear about her travels on her personal profile in the Matador Travel community. And if you’d like to submit a photo of your own, take a look at submission guidelines.

Feature photo: meddygarnet/Photo above: chrisschuepp

As a full time technical writer and a part-time travel writer, a great deal of my life is online. My email is often the first thing I check in the morning, and the last thing I shut down at night. There are times when I get panicked if I’m away from the computer for so long.

For example, as I’m writing this on my lunch break, the office’s Internet is down. I keep sporadically refreshing my browser, just in case I miss something important. Like an email announcing the implosion of the universe.

The same goes for writing online. I spend so much time talking to Matador Life’s editor Leigh Shulman that our work chats eventually lead to men discussions or stories about the tadpoles in the backyard of her garden. I even know the color of her new couch. Red, custom made.

We editors are all spread out across the globe, so the Internet is really our only option.

But the world doesn’t stop when you’re offline. I came to this realization last week, when I had planned on devoting my entire Sunday afternoon to catching up on work. But the day was uncharacteristically beautiful, the first hint of spring, and I was aching to get outside. My roommate Renee and I went for a three hour hike instead, we ate ice-cream and sat atop Signal Hill looking out at the Atlantic Ocean. I thought, “These moments are the kind you live for. Not the ones sitting in front of a computer screen.”

While it’s impractical to cut out the Internet entirely, here are a few ways to cut back on your Internet addiction.

Understand your offline relationships are the most important.

I like to think the people I’ve encountered over the past few months are my friends. They’re an amazing support network, a community of like-minded people. But it’s important to nurture the “real life” relationships, the people who have been there from the beginning. The kind of friends who will bail you out of the drunk tank, or lend you some money when all you can afford to eat is canned soup. This especially applies to family members.

Take time everyday to enjoy moments with friends and family. If you’re like me, working from 9-5, you spend most of your life with colleagues. Sanity needs to be preserved.

Make time to connect with Internet friends offline.

Photo by xiordashx

If you’re connecting with so many people online, actually make the effort to meet up with them in real life. Meeting someone for the first time offline is more than a little intimidating, but you really can’t tell what kind of a bond you actually have until you’re face to face. Attend a Travel Blog Exchange, book a suite apartment with a bunch of travelers and party until daylight. Or crash on someone’s couch via Couchsurfing.

Resist fancy phones with data packages.

I have purposely refused to buy an iPhone simply because I know I’ll be checking my phone constantly for texts and Facebook messages. Sometimes I find myself out with friends, checking my emails. Why? What is the hurry?

You’ll end up being that douchebag, the one with his/her nose buried in a phone being too arrogant to participate in real conversation.

If you’re a traveler and you need your phone to get work done, this may not work for you. But at least limit your phone time. Buy a more restrictive phone package, or simply place it in a drawer far from sight for a period of time each day.

Have an unplugged, offline day.

One whole day, sun-up to sun-down. Think you can handle it? Make a big breakfast, finish some laundry, run some errands, join a friend for a cup of tea, read something from the stack of books on your nightstand, go for a jog, sit outside in the sun. Life really does happen beyond the computer.

Find other ways to connect with people.

Facebook, instant messenger, and email are the most popular methods of communication between me and my real life friends. It’s convenient and quick, and a great way to communicate with several people at once.

But draw the line somewhere. Instead of instant messaging a friend to ask if they’d like to go for a walk, pick up the phone. Show up unannounced at their door, if you don’t mind being that annoying “pop-in” person.

Don’t be available all the time.

This is my biggest issue. At my office, we use the Internet and instant messaging freely while working. Some days I get people messaging me to chat, and then they get furious when I don’t reply. It is absolutely necessary to separate work time from personal time. If you keep socializing with the outside world at work, you’re asking to be fired.

The same goes for phones. I’ve had several people over the years say, “Why don’t you ever answer your phone?” Sometimes I don’t want to. It’s a choice, and it should be respected. Also, I may or may not like you and would rather not say it to your face. Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions.

Write a list of everything you used to do before you were addicted to the Internet.

I find it difficult to imagine exactly what I used to do with my spare time, but I feel it involved a lot of reading and letter writing. If you put it all down on paper, you’ll get a good idea of just how much time you’re wasting.

Seriously, if you have a real Internet addiction, get help.

There’s actually oodles of information for people who are addicted to cyber-sex and Facebook. If you’re drawn to whipping out your genitals on live webcamera in front of an audience, you should probably heed real, professional advice.

Not convinced these ideas will work? Try a web application that will help monitor your Internet time. Ironic, no?

Community Connection

Learn how to travel unplugged, or break free from your television addiction.

Feature photo by Poldavo. Above photo by Hauggen

When we first moved to Salta, we lived in town, so it was possible to get around without a car. Then we moved to the country. It’s not far from Salta, and while possible to move back and forth by bike, we drive Lila the10 miles to school every morning. Then Noah, who usually takes Lila to school while I work from home, went out of town, so I had to drive.

If you know anything about driving in Salta, you’ll know that it is one of the most insane places to drive on the planet. So my choice was to keep Lila home the entire week. Or brave the streets.

The first day wasn’t too awful. A bus bum-rushed me, then swerved around into oncoming traffic. Meanwhile, every car behind me honked incessantly because I wasn’t moving fast enough. From my point-of-view, though, going faster would have caused me to crash head-on into the bus while concurrently knocking over at least three pedestrians, a motorcycle carrying an entire family of four — no helmets — and two men on bikes. But I made it on time, only my ego a bit bruised from all the nasty looks and hand gestures.

Day two, the main road closed for construction, so I followed a group of cars around on a detour through traffic-lightless intersections in which size of vehicle governs right of way. I learned quickly to push ahead anyway.

By the third afternoon, I found myself wending my way through stopped cars, hitting the gas to bypass oncoming traffic and my trip into town took 15 minutes instead of 30. My hands, no longer white-knuckled, relaxed on the wheel, but I couldn’t stop cursing at passing drivers as they bobbed back and forth across one lane to overtake me. “I hate this,” I shouted.

“Don’t worry, Mama.” Lila’s little voice piped up from the back seat. “You’ll eventually get used to it.”

Am I just trying to fool myself?

Two thoughts arrived in my head simultaneously.

The first: She says that because she’s heard the exact phrase from me.

“Mama, I don’t like school,” Lila complains.
“You haven’t had to get up early all summer. You’ll get used to it.”

“Mama, I don’t know how to put my whole head underwater,” Lila lets me know.
“It feels funny to be in a place where you can’t breathe. You’ll get used to it.”

The second thought? I prickled. “I AM used to it, I thought. I wasn’t nervous. I didn’t hesitate. I know what I’m doing. I’m used to it. It’s just that I don’t like it.

Then I wondered. Is there a difference? Do we dislike things only because they’re difficult for us? Or because they scare us? Or they make us uncomfortable in some way?

Photo by Gemsling

I tried to think of example to show that you can both dislike something and be comfortable with it, and aside from food choices — I do not like dulce de leche — I could think of nothing. How often do we say we don’t like something before we really even try?

So what do you think?

Is that feeling of dislike — for people, places, things and choices — simply a form of of avoidance? And perhaps are these dislikes simply negatives in our lives that keep us from accomplishing what we truly want? Then, of course, there’s the other side of things. Why do we so often stay with things we don’t like? A job. A relationship. Even possessions, like houses or clothing. Do we too stubbornly hold onto that which makes us most comfortable in spite of what we lose?

I have no definitive answers to these questions.

Returning to me and driving. By the time Noah returned home, I’d had enough. I immediately handed the keys to him. Still, Lila’s innocent question made me realize I should continue to force myself to drive until I do truly feel comfortable.

That’s one step closer to greater freedom.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

We talk often here on life about how to move past the things that hold you back and keep you from living your dream. From the I-Can’ts to recognizing when it’s time to move and travel and when it’s time to put down roots.

How do you know when you’re setting up your own obstacles? And how do you avoid them?