Photo by Torley

Enter outrage and upset from breastfeeding supporters who feel her article is both an affront to those who breastfeed – let’s call ‘em Uberboobers — as well as discouraging to those who want to try. Then look at the other side of the field to those who found Kathryn’s article to be helpful, a breath of fresh air for those who feel criticized for choosing formula in bottles.

The real issue, however, lies elsewhere. The current debate raging on the internet about breastfeeding sets up sides, forms camps and then draws a line between the two. And really, who wants to choose between “putting your teeny, tiny innocent baby…where only a lover has been before” or “being a selfish person who puts her child second to her funbags.”

I searched for the original Mother & Baby article, but only found news items running quotes, most replete with the same us against them language. Kathryn Blundell, says one woman, “completely sums up the minds of us formula feeding moms.” Others reduce women who stop breastfeeding to “quitters,” as if deciding to formula feed represents parenthood failure.

I’m not sure where the dichotomy originates. With moms or with the media. Although I suspect, like most things, it comes from somewhere in between.

My Personal Experience?

I breastfed Lila for two years and three months. At the beginning, I loved it. By the end, I was done. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Keep in mind, too, it was relatively easy for me. This is not the case for all. For many, breastfeeding can be excruciatingly painful on both a physical and emotional level. The last thing anyone needs on top of a post partum lack of sleep is to be told you’re not being a good mom because you’re formula feeding. Nor do you need someone calling you a martyr for braving on when a bottle works just as well. Both sorts of advice produce a level of guilt that keeps you from making clear choices.

I, myself, continued far longer than I wanted because of pressure I felt from outside myself. Instead of supplementing with formula, so Noah or someone else could take up some feeding times, I decided I had to do it all myself. This meant I couldn’t be away from Lila for more than a few hours and didn’t sleep through the night for almost a year. Being a parent is a commitment, yes, but that is not necessarily the one we intend to make when having children. Nor should it have to be.

If and when there’s a next time for me, I will most definitely supplement with formula. I will not make parenting choices based on guilt and pressure and will instead figure out what is best for me and baby together.

But it doesn’t stop with breastfeeding

Not by a long shot.

There are tens of polarized debates relating to motherhood. Working Out Of Home Mom versus Stay-At-Home-Mom. Do you allow your child to learn to fall asleep on his own by crying himself to sleep? Or do you lie in bed with your child to soothe her to sleep? Do you hire a nanny or send your little one to day care? Do you have your baby in a hospital with a doctor or with a midwife at home?

It is exhausting and turns every parenting decision into one of right and wrong, moral or immoral. In reality, though, choices of this sort are not a black and white, thus, no matter what you choose, you will be wrong on some account. How’s that for banging your head against a wall?

The bottom line is if you are lucky enough to have the choice between all these options, rejoice. Please yourself first. Take care of yourself first.

The Ubiquitous Feminism Tie-In

Nancy Harder recently questioned if these days feminism is perhaps worse off than ever. As a partial answer, I’ll repeat here the words of Linsey Abrams, a feminist writer, fiction author and also my grad school adviser. “Leigh, ” she said. “Feminism is simple. It’s not a whole big argument with theory and miles of discussion. Feminism comes down to one thing. The ability to be able to make the choice to do what you want.”

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What are your experiences with breastfeeding or formula feeding? Share your thoughts in the comments. For a male view of breastfeeding, check out Adventures in Weaning: Cold Turkey in the Great American Desert.

Photo by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino23

Our most powerful beliefs ground us. The provide us a place we can return for inspiration, energy or hope. We use them as guiding principles for life. But how does one determine our Most Powerful Beliefs? Or MPBs, if you will.

The benefits of having a Most Powerful Beliefs List

Every thought is permissible, but not everything thought is beneficial, and our minds often prefer short cuts in thinking when forming core beliefs. We all have beliefs developed from painful experiences. These beliefs can become thought patterns that may or may not be helpful. That is why it’s impossible, as writer Neil Anderson says, “to consistently live inconsistently with what you really believe.”

One of the benefits of a MPB list is that you can draw from it to help counteract your negative thought patterns. You can also use it to develop new patterns of thought, allowing the ideas that take airtime in your head to lead you positively and cheer you on, rather than distract and tear you down.

Creating my own MPB list makes it easier for me to make good choices. It reminds me to live from my highest thoughts and ideals, and not from my feelings and circumstances.

There is ALWAYS something for which to be grateful.

This is Number Three on my MPB list. Let’s say I’m having a challenging day. My son Lucca refuses to take a nap, and then the mechanic calls to say we need a new transmission for the car, and then the computer crashes for the 4th time in the middle of writing a blog post, and then I can’t find my phone, I’m tempted to sit and pout. This potentially predisposes me to making unhelpful decisions for the rest of the day because I’m feeling sorry for myself or just plain crappy.

That’s when I repeat my MPB Number Three. It allows me to focus on the things that are going well. The lettuce in our garden is thriving. My husband has planned a surprise date night for us tonight. My family is healthy.

As much as the world is full of opportunities to grow and develop our character and happiness, it is also full of noise and distractions pulling us away from who we really are and what we really want out of life. Your MPB list pulls you back to who you really are, who you want to be and ultimately where you are going.

How to create your own Most Powerful Beliefs List

Carve out some dedicated journaling time for write down all the things you believe to be most important. If the thought of staring at a blank sheet of paper overwhelms you, simply make a commitment to jot down thoughts as they come to you. Carry a small notepad and favorite pen along with you to help you out.

More tips for creating your own MPB List:

• Look at the difficulties you’ve had in your life. What wisdom is now your because of those hardships?
• Think Oprah. Every month in her mag she ends with a page of, “What I Know for Sure.” What things do you know for sure?
• Think of your favorite quotes. Is there a common theme that runs through them? This might be inner beauty, motivation, or even irony. What words empower you?
• What books inspire you? They can be religious, poetry, sacred texts or simply a favorite thriller or philosophy text.
• Think of a woman or man you greatly admire. Imagine what that person would include on his or her MPB list?

Remember this is your MPB List. You are free to change, edit and add to it as much as you like. Let it grow with you as you move through life.

Once you’ve you’ve written your list, leave it on the refrigerator or as a note on your desktop, somewhere you’ll see and read it every day, several times a day. The constant repetition allows these thoughts to sit in the forefront of your mind, pushing other less helpful and darker thoughts to the back. Memorize your list; share it with others. Use the items on that list to encourage yourself, your family and friends when they’re having a hard time.

Above all, let them empower you.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What are some of your most powerful beliefs, that help guide you through life? We’d love to know, if you’re happy to share them below.

Photo by author.

Welcome to the first in Matador Life’s new series, How’d You Get That Gig. Each article will focus on a type of job or even career that you’ve always wanted to know more about or maybe wanted to try, but never knew how to do it.

We’ll explore what the work entails, what certification you’d need, and how to find work for yourself. Most of the jobs will be flexible enough to leave you time and space to travel.

Now without further delay, Matador Life brings you Q&A with Mike Collins, expert in boat repair and sailing.

What skills are useful to learn and how can you learn them?

The best way to learn necessary boating skills is to volunteer to crew a sailboat with an experienced skipper. It’s relatively easy to find, particularly if you don’t expect to be paid much (or at all). Almost all Marinas have crew opportinuties posted on bulletin boards.

Ask the captain as many questions as you can about the boat and volunteer to help fix anything that needs fixing while in port before the trip. You may not know what a thru-hull or a cutlass bearing is right now, but passing wrenches is a good way to learn.

Once you have mastered the basic skills, you’re ready to move onto a position with better pay.

Are there some types of boats that are better than others to work on?

I prefer sailboats as a primary source of income although any type of yacht offers opportunities. Sailboats have a few unique tasks that many people prefer to avoid. This niche seems to bring in the most money for the least amount of effort.

What types of jobs should people look for?

First, it’s useful to know the parts of the boat so you can tell your spreaders from your shrouds and mast.

Going aloft
You know those pesky little lights at the top of the mast? Well, they’re easy to change, but many boat owners are scared of going aloft. If you’re not afraid of heights, it takes very little effort or skill to change a light bulb. I charge $100 to go up the mast.

Photo by SC Maritime

My fee includes changing all of the lights on the mast head and spreaders, needed or not. I’ll often inspect the fittings while I’m on the mast for an additional fee.

Rigging
A sailboat has two types of rigging, standing and running. Standing rigging are the metal cables that hold up the mast. Running rigging are the lines connected to the sails used to raise, lower and trim the sails while underway. Anyone with a modicum of mechanical aptitude can replace running rigging simply by tracing the lines to their starting points.

Standing rigging requires some experience to install and inspect but is relatively simple once you know how. Rigging a sailboat from scratch can take anywhere from a day to a week and bring in $1000 profit or more.

Bottom cleaning
Sailors dread this job most of any on a boat, but it’s as simple as scraping greasy muck off a saucepan. Except, you’re scraping everything from a thin coat of algae to the floating oyster bar that builds up on the bottom of a boat.

It’s messy and requires quite a bit of the so-called elbow grease, but a 40-foot boat will take about three hours and bring in $400 at the fair price of $10 per foot.

The boat owner provides the scraper and dive gear required for the job. Obviously, you’ll want to be a certified open water diver before doing this. I only accept bottom jobs that have soft growth because I am not fond of barnacle scraped knuckles.

What jobs should I avoid, even though I know how to do them?

The key to making money in boat repair while traveling is to choose the jobs many people dislike but are simple to accomplish, as mentioned here. I don’t do engine repair, electronics or anything that requires too much time, a collection of tools or possibility of complications.

Even though I may have the skills to do other things, I prefer not to because getting locked into a job ends up taking more time than I have to spare. Keeping it as simple as possible makes more money and fewer headaches.

How do you find work when you have no contacts or a work visa?

Finding work is a lot easier than people might think. If you have access to a VHF radio — the radio all boats use to communicate — a hail announcing that you are in port and offering services almost always brings a quick burst of chatter.

Photo by author.

Walking the docks at night looking for burned out lights can also produce work prospects. I go boat to boat offering free rigging inspections. One job usually turns into many by working slowly and steadily. And remember, when you’re sitting on top of a mast, it’s like your own personal job billboard. The longer I am up there, the more people come by offering work.

If I plan on being around for a while I leave a flyer on the bulletin board describing my services with a place for them to write down their slip number and boat name so I can follow up later.

What single most important tip should be followed at all costs?

Don’t fake it. Taking on a job that you are not confident in doing could end up costing you money and time or even hurting someone. Simple tasks pay well, so stick to those.

Is it worth taking it a step further and becoming a Boat Captain?

Seasonal work schlepping tourists out to watch the sunset is one of many ways you can benefit from being a captain. You can also consider boat delivery as a shorter term gig. It’s very common for boat owners to plan a cruising vacation in places like the Caribbean, Mediterranean or South Pacific, but they don’t want to drive their boat from home port to wherever they plan their trip. A licensed captain makes decent amount money chaufering the boat to or from the destination.

You can schedule deliveries in advance through BoatBoss.com or CrewFile.com.

International maritime law requires you to be licensed to receive money for services operating a boat with passengers. Obtain your captain’s license by taking a USCG exam. The easiest license is the Six Pack, which allows you to carry up to six passengers on vessels up to 100 tons.

Potential captains must also have 360 documented days at sea to qualify. A full day consists of 4 hours on board any vessel. You do not have to be working; sunbathing counts.

I highly recommend taking a course such as Mariners School Online. The Mariners School website offers all the information needed for a captains license.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

If you have any jobs, work or careers you’d like to know more about, or have a particular job you’d like to feature here, e-mail Leigh or Nick and let us know.

Photo by m00by/Feature Photo by szlea

It starts at birth when immediately you’re taken and tested with Apgar scores. Are you pink enough? Do you cry enough? Make enough faces?

It’s easy to understand why Apgar scores are important, though. They let us know quickly and easily whether or not a newborn needs immediate medical attention, but what about the other measures of our lives?

Here’s the rundown. Deep breath please….

Facebook friends. Linked In connections. Twitter followers. Pants size. Bra size. How much does your baby weigh? How many miles do you run? How often and how fast? Marital status. How many children do you have? How many countries visited. Languages spoken. Borders crossed. How many times have you been to Burning Man?

We have measurements to decide whether our children are gifted enough to start first grade on the accelerated track and No Child Left Behind tests to show if a student reads and writes well enough to pass to the next grade.

Photo by Tambako the Jaguar

Those tests in turn help us determine whether our teachers are teaching well enough for our children to pass those tests. Don’t forget SATs, A-levels, O-levels, APs, and whatever your home country equivalent would be.

Once you pass all those tests with high scores, you’re then free to move to the next level.

In college and university, the yardstick arrives in the form of cum laude, class rank and don’t forget the extra points for where you get your degree. Honor societies, sororities, academic clubs and sports teams. All that helps others decide whether or not someone should hire you, when it will then be decided how much money you’ll make for salary.

From there, these logically follow:

How much do you have in the bank? Credit rating. How many days vacation and where do you go. How many square feet in your house or apartment. What kind of car do you drive? How posh is your neighborhood? Depending on your profession and how many years you’ve been in the field, other tests quickly follow. Tests and more tests rank you on a scale of how good a lawyer, doctor, accountant — or really anything else — you are. And if you’re a blogger, you simple cannot forget Alexa ranking, Linked In connections, Google Page Rank, website stats and RSS subscribers.

Once we know exactly how much you make, where you live and what you drive, it’s far easier to find where you fit socially. Are you married or single? How many sexual partners have you had? Do you have orgasms one at a time or multiple and how big is your penis? How often do you have sex? How often do you date and where do you take your dates. What brands of clothing do you wear? What size clothing?

What is wealth without health?

We measure what we eat by calories and weight which help us maintain our hips, chests and clothing size. And just when you thought your food was safe once inside your body, here comes Rate My Poo to tell you how your shit compares to others. There’s even a Top 10.

There’s eyesight, hearing, height, weight, cholesterol, blood sugar levels and blood pressure. How long does it take to get pregnant? What is your sperm count? How many children do you have? What month did your child learn to sit up, crawl, walk and speak? How many hours in labor? Which then leads right back to where we began with Apgar scores.

Photo by woodleywonderworks

Then, when you find yourself listless and confused from all the prodding, poking, pulling and testing, someone comes along to quantify your happiness and self esteem.

Anyone else ready to have a nervous breakdown?

While these scales do provide us important information, at what point do we stop living our lives by numbers? Numbers that ultimately have the potential to damage our internal self esteem when we find others simply don’t respect us enough because we don’t rate highly enough.

What happens if the playing field changes? Let’s say you’ve done supremely well in high school, aced your college qualifying exams and then suddenly your family moves to another country where those scores mean nothing. Or you’re the perfect size 6 in clothing and somehow find yourself in a place where a larger, plumper body type is preferred?

What does that say about you? What does that say about our system?

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What would happen were we to suddenly get rid of all these personal and professional measurements? Are some of them necessary to ensure our happiness and well being? Share your thoughts below.

Photo by westerndave/Feature Photo by purdman1

Wouldn’t you like to do the same with, well, everything else? Food. Clothing. Games. Cameras. Parts for your car. Imagine the time you would save not running from store to store. You could even design your own objects!

Let’s say you want to design and construct your own electric guitar out of lucite and anodized steel, or replace a gear for that 90-year-old grandfather clock that sits broken in your hallway. E-Machine Shop allows you to create customized replacement parts — or just about anything else you can think of — and model in 3-D using computer controlled lasers, torches and a wide variety of other machine shop tools. They supply you with a downloadable 3-D modeling program you can use to design your product. Then, you choose from a list of materials and finishes, and they provide you with a price estimate and shipping options.

Welcome to the World of the Personal Assember, a.k.a Fabber.

What if you were able to design and produce all your needs at home, cutting out the middle man entirely? It’s been possible for quite a while, actually, but until now these types of machines needed to produce your product — called prototypers — were extremely expensive and out of reach of the average consumer.

Photo by sekimura

Soon, anyone will be able to DIY at home using the following two open source project printers.

Fab@Home is part of a collaborative project with Cornell University. They’re working to develop a printer that attaches via USB or firewire to your PC and allows you to print three dimensional objects. You can print things one layer at a time using such diverse materials as silicon, chocolate frosting, plastics or glue. Thus, you can personally manufacture just about anything you can model using off-the-shelf CAD software on your PC.

The printers — called Model I or Model II assemblers — are compact enough to fit on your desktop and the plans to build these machines are available for free on their website. An entire setup — including construction, parts and set up time — comes in at around $1600.

Cornell is currently researching how to employ similar devices to build human organs and facilitate tissue reconstruction.

A similar concept is the CNC Cupcake by Makerbot. It’s cheaper than Fab@Home but doesn’t give you as many materials options. CNC Cupcake works by heating an ABS plastic wire — a type of thermoplastic — until malleable, then builds the object of your desire one layer at a time. It is also open source and you can either buy parts to create your own variation of the CNC Cupcake or simply order an off the shelf version for $950.

Photo by ralphbijker

Once you have your personal assembler technology, head to thingiverse.com where you can connect with other fabbers and download, swap and trade your favorite 3-D plans.

This Technology Is Limited, For Now.

Remember what a computer looked like way back when? They were as large as a house, cost millions of dollars, were expensive to maintain, required years of training to use and had very limited functionality. Jump to today where there are hundreds of millions of computers in the world that we depend on for just about everything in our daily lives. This is the future of personal fabricators.

Don’t just take my word for it. Ray Kurzweil, preeminent futurist and artificial intelligence expert, also believes fabbers will soon become a ubiquitous part of our daily experience.

Once it’s possible to make everything you need at home, the price of most objects will drop to nothing more than material costs, thus obliterating our reliance on stores, manufacturers and distributors. Our consumer oriented society will never be the same again.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

For more gadget love, take a look at Technology Bytes: Freaky Futuristic Gadgets, 10 Gadgets to Unleash Your Inner James Bond and Affordable Gifts for Gadget Lovers.

Designed by Colin Purrington from Swarthmore College, you can add these spoof disclaimer stickers to science textbooks that promote such “spurious” theories as evolution, gravity, and plate tectonics.

Below are some examples, and you can see them all here.

Picture modified from Textbook disclaimer stickers and Feature image by the mad LOLscientist

Apparently, the text of the sticker at the top left is taken directly from the Georgia Cobb County School District (un-ironic tagline: “A community with a passion for learning”).

The other stickers on the site (which can be downloaded as a PDF) were all made up.

Unsurprisingly, the site has come in for some flak. My two favorite comments by far are these:

Be gone with your foul pagan gravity. We ain’t haven’ it.

If you’re going to argue factually, then you will lose…In truth, facts can neither prove or disprove the unprovable.

So there you have it!

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What do you think of these textbook disclaimer stickers? Are they (as one commenter suggests) “Kinda meanspirited and… anti-religious” or are they totally spot on? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo by burwell

One of my earliest, and most vivid, childhood memories takes me riding in my mom’s black Volkswagen Beetle, sans seat-belt. This was the 70’s, after all. We bopped along to Three Dog Night’s “Joy to the World” and tried to imagine how a frog named Jeremiah looked. There was almost nothing better than my mom, my sister, and me screaming the refrain with the wind in our hair and not a care in the world.

As my sister and I approached our teens, the paralyzing fear that one of our friends might actually hear our mom singing – or worse, that we’d be seen singing with our mom – combined with our parents’ completely un-cool and old-fashioned musical preferences, put an end to our family sing-alongs.

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Fast forward 30 years.

As new parents, my husband, James, and I naively thought that babies liked to sleep all the time. Maybe some did, but not ours. The only way our son, Alex, would sleep was in the car, preferably while it was moving. Combine this with a torturous amount of sleep deprivation, and you can safely assume we weren’t the most alert behind the wheel. We plugged in the iPod and hoped for the best. Who knew The Clash’s Rock the Casbah was a lullaby?

Coming Full Circle

Photo by shankar, shiv

Our son eventually learned to sleep on his own, and the days of aimless driving ended. Thankfully, the singing hasn’t. Both sets of grandparents live almost four hours away, so there are plenty of opportunities to rock out in the car with our now seven year-old son playing DJ from the back seat. Best of all, we get to do it together.

Get Your Gang Tuned In

You want your sing-along to be spontaneous. Kids know when they are being manipulated, and it’s not fun for anyone when it’s forced. When the whining begins — usually about 20 minutes into the trip — and there’s a long road ahead, just start singing.

NO! Not That CD…AGAIN!

I don’t understand the appeal of the Kidz Bop franchise. For those who haven’t experienced this phenomenon, I refer to those horrid remakes of popular songs sung by children instead of the original recording artists. Why bother? Why would “Yellow Submarine” be better when sung by anonymous children instead of the Beatles? My advice, go for the real thing. Open your kids to the world of music.

Don’t know the words to many songs? Make up your own or check out www.lyricsfreak.com, where you’ll found lyrics to thousands of songs. And to bulk up your own music knowledge and explore artists and songs, see www.digitaldreamdoor.com and www.bradboard.com.

Songs For The Car

Here are a few favorites that have a hook that’s fun for kids to sing along to, but won’t make you want to poke out your eyes:

50’s

Splish Splash, Bobby Darin – Blue Suede Shoes, Elvis Presley – Rock Around the Clock,
Bill Haley and His Comets – Roll Over Beethoven, Chuck Berry – Charlie Brown, Coasters – Hey Good Lookin’, Hank Williams – Lollipop, The Chordettes – Rockin’ Robin, Bobby Day – Purple People Eater, Sheb Wooley – Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight, The Spaniels

60’s

Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, Four Tops – Yellow Submarine, Beatles – Leaving on a Jet Plane, Peter Paul and Mary – The Locomotion, Little Eva – Duke of Earl, Gene Chandler – Wooly Bully, Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs – Fun Fun Fun, Beach Boys – Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weanie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, Brian Hyland – My Generation, The Who – Born to be Wild, Steppenwolf – Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles – Get off of My Cloud, The Rolling Stones

70’s

Country Road, John Denver – ABC 123, Jackson 5 – Y.M.C.A., Village People – American Pie, Don McLean – Stayin’ Alive, The Bee Gees – Cars, Gary Newman – Schools Out, Alice Cooper – Surrender, Cheap Trick – Crocodile Rock, Elton John – One Way or Another, Blondie – Rock Lobster, B-52’s

80’s

Karma Chameleon, Culture Club – One Love, Bob Marley – Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper – Our House, Crowded House – Walking on Sunshine, Katrina and the Waves – Bicycle, Queen – We Got the Beat, Go-Go’s – Stay Up Late, Talking Heads – Beat It, Michael Jackson – Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Chung

Photo by Aka Hige

90’s

Can’t Touch This, MC Hammer – Wonderwall, Oasis – Shiny Happy People, R.E.M – The Groove is in the Heart, Deee-Lite – All Star, Smashmouth – Jump Jive and Wail, Brian Stetzer Orchestra – Getting’ Jiggy Wit It, Will Smith – All I Wanna Do, Sheryl Crowe – Livin’ La Vida Loca, Ricky Martin – When I Come Around, Green Day

2000’s – Current

I Got a Feelin’, Black Eyed Peas – Beautiful Day, U2 – That’s Not My Name, The Ting Tings – Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down – Hey Ya, Outkast – Umbrella, Rihanna – One More Time, Daft Punk – Let’s Get The Party Started, Pink

Right now, I’m enjoying every moment. I’m going to keep belting them out until my son figures out that he’s way too cool for me.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What songs do you like to hear when you’re road-tripping? Share in the comments below.

For more music inspiration stop by Matador’s Music Festivals Focus Page.

Photo by Train to entertain.

Some people are really good at payback. Consider Regretsy, the website run by April Winchill which displays and mocks all the terrible crap being sold on Etsy. Winchill nails the public humiliation revenge, with humor and harsh words when it comes to creations like the Eco Friendly Mountain Girl Barefoot Sandals and the Lion Tamer Jungle Bra.

Maybe you’re not the most creative person when it comes to mapping out a revenge plan, or maybe you’re more passive aggressive than Winchill. True, it’s hard to be original in a world hell bent on flaming bags of dog poop.

Or you could try my neighbor’s approach to getting even with me and my roommates for throwing a keg party. For them, pooping on our front stoop was the answer. Just a few nights ago, our house got egged. Some people can’t let go.

Photo by gingerpig2000

The world is filled with bitter people stung by the jerks of their past. The following sites make it easy: all you need is some extra cash and a real black soul.

Boxed Revenge

This site sends unusual boxed gifts to people who deserve ill treatment, like a double-fisted-drinking-party-animal wife, or a lazy, beer swilling, good-for-nothing husband.

Some of their products include:

Chocolate flavored laxatives – Despite the telltale packaging, this is a real sweet revenge.

Animal skulls – No fear, the disclaimer notes: “These are road kill or died naturally and found in the wild.”

Roadkill – If you have a spare $50 hanging around.

Horse crap and cow manure – Also available in super-size portions for $30 or more.

Dead flowers and dead bugs – For the emo kid in all of us.

An empty box – To represent the emptiness of the relationship. Poetic.

A stocking filled with coal at Christmas – The perfect holiday revenge!

Crab Revenge

The ultimate revenge (and my personal favorite), this website’s slogan is “Make That Bitch Itch.” Yep, this site sends live crabs to your enemy, where they will take up residence in somebody’s pubes.

Their packages include:

Photo by euthman

Green Package – The standard package, with just enough itch to do the job.

Blue Package – Three times the itch of the green package.

Red Package – The mother of all packages, this high end package is also known as the “F Strain.” This package is so effective, not even Permethrin will get rid of the itch.

The site assures that it’s legit, but apparently legal issues have prevented the owners from divulging too many details about the business. I’m dying to know who farms the crabs in the first place?

Community Connection

Do you think revenge is petty? How would you plot your payback? Share your evil details with us below!