Dirty dishes: the ultimate symbol of household drudgery. See them piled in the sink. Your days are busy. Too much going on. There are calls to return, e-mail lining up in any number of accounts.
Someone always wants something. “Mommy, I can’t find my shoes.” Is the article done yet? Lord, I really should get to the gym today. You have a lot to do. There’s always a lot on your list. There will probably always be a lot on your list.
And that is why those dishes remain in the sink, mocking you. Worst part? The second you clean them, they immediately begin to multiply. Like laundry. Like dirty floors. Clean is only the first step on the way to dirty.
But dishes still have to be done. This is how I do them.
FIRST: I put on a pair of thick rubber gloves, to protect yourself from pruney fingers and scalded skin.
SECOND: Turn on the music. Make sure it’s something that really gets you going.
Oh, you’re telling me you don’t have any great music for that. Take a moment to explore music from around the world. Stack your ipod with fresh beats.
Do away with your excuses and turn on your favorite music, loud.
This is no time to worry about permanent ear damage. Stop thinking about your deadlines. If the baby cries, you won’t be able to hear her anyway. It’s only fifteen minutes. This is as good a time as any to give yourself permission to stop worrying about every other thing in your life.
Then I begin. Water on hot hot hot because that scrapes of the muck most quickly. Wet everything down, start scrubbing. It’s just you, music and dishes.
By now you should be dancing around the kitchen, trying the latest move you learned in belly dancing class. Oh, sorry, you haven’t been? Maybe now is the time to start? You know you’ve always wanted to try belly dancing.
Eventually I flip off my shoes, and I’m swinging barefoot around the kitchen. It’s great, too, if you happen to be wearing a flouncy skirt, because when you twirl around it flares outward.
Photo by Hankish
If you’re saying, I’m a man, I don’t wear skirts, I’m going to tell you to just shut up. Shut up now. Why are you creating more I-Can’ts?
Have you ever tried a flouncy skirt? Maybe something shiny, bubbly. Maybe try it with a shiny blue wig to match. Have you seen the men at Burning Man?
Soap the silverware and plates, put them aside. Then onto the cups and do another twirl around before the bowls.
You are an Arabe queen in your jingly skirt. You are a capoiera master flying through the air, the sexiest tango dancer on the block. You are a fire god, a water goddess rinsing away suds in time to the beat.
What? You’re embarrassed of dancing in public? Who cares? Certainly not you. Not a whit, not a bit. You’re just there to glide through life, move around, play and have fun.
Before you know it, your dishes are done.
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21 Comments... join the discussion!
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Come A Long Way by Michelle Shocked always inspires me to do something – even dishes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cJZyjF9PlQ
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What a fun video too! Thanks for sharing it. Michelle’s bright little dress is perfect too.
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this makes me happy!
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Hell yes. This is awesome.
Lately, I’ve found comfort in the meditative aspect of dish-doing–sans music, sans dancing, just scrubbing away sauce grease as I try to scrub away remnants of to-do lists from by brain.
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Sometimes, I can get to that truly meditative state when washing dishes, but usually I fight it. That’s why I have to distract myself as much as possible, let my mind go elsewhere. I tend to be this way with housework in general.
But I love the image of scraping away lists (i have many many of them) like grease.
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I should try that on the stack of dished in my sink right now!
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Did you try it? How was it?
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Hahahahahahaha, I would kill for a podcast of you reading this out loud.
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Hmmm… not a bad idea.
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“before enlightenment there is washing the dishes.
after enlightenment there is
washing the dishes”An ancient saying my dad modified and used to say to me every time I bitched about dishes…I’ve come to so respect that saying:)
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As you already know, this is my new mantra. Switching out “dishes” for whatever else might be holding me up or down or whichever way.
Great to meet you, Nate. Here and on Twitter.
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great to meet you tooooo:). SA united;)
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Loved loved this! Your writing has this cool rhythmic beat to it. My husband and I frequently turn on loud music to do the dishes. Who am I kidding…when he does the dishes. haha
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Well done, Nancy. How did you work that one? I tend to be the main dish washer in our house. Although there are plenty of other things Noah ends up doing all the time, so I can’t really complain.
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Hehe
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yes!
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Thank you all for your comments here. This was a fun piece to write, and even moreso to hear all your reactions.
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hehe….Love it!! …. i personally like to sing it out loud as well. Its therapeutic
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You know, after my one class on Monday mornings, Arabic, and going to the gym, lunch at the cafeteria, and then finally getting back to my dorm, even though this is a easy day for me, you’d think cleaning is the last thing I’d want to do. However, on Mondays, I clean. In high school, after soccer practice, to relax, I used to come home and cook. Here, in college, to organize myself for the week to come, to be aware of what I need to do school wise and otherwise, I clean. I start with my dorm room, picking up trash, putting away clothes, preparing laundry, making my bed, organizing my desk, etc. Then I move on to the kitchen: dishes, dishes, dishes,counter tops, microwave, oven, stove, sink, floor, trash; it all has to get cleaned. Then, every two weeks or so I’ll hit the bathroom. We have a bathroom en suite that I share with two other guys and my roommate. I’ll first put away all the products every where, then clean down the sinks and counter tops, then move on to the floor of the bathroom, and yes-*gasp*the toilet too, then the shower. Once I’m finally done by laundry somehow got done in that process.
Then, when I can finally sit down to relax to catch up on the articles here or to do some reading or writing I realize that I was able to clean my white shoes and polish both my black and brown boots. It’s a peaceful atmosphere now.
I go through my stages of with music and without. No music during the cleaning of the kitchen or the bathroom, I need to think; then I blast the music, any music, I love all my music, while I clean my actual room.
My mother would drop dead if she actually knew how much cleaning I do.
The things that spur you to write during the day, even just a little bit.
Cheers Leigh,
Jared↵ -
loved this! Gave me a smile while facing Sunday night clean-up!
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