Photo by Yatmandu.
If your kid is not multilingual by the age of four, does not have a college degree by fifth grade, or is not making a fortune by performing music as a toddler, he or she may be just an average, regular child.
Kids have a lot to live up to these days. Gregory Smith, born in 1990, has already won a Nobel Peace Award for his peacekeeping endeavours. Then there’s Akrit Jaswal who performed surgery for the first time at age seven. While most kids are riding around on bicycles and crying over skinned knees, prodigy children are seeking the cure for cancer.
But when did we decide that giving up a childhood is worth the status of being a genius? Irrefutably, children should be educated and encouraged to pursue their interests, and prodigy children require different types of stimulation than other children. But at some point, kids are sacrificing their happiest, most carefree years to ensure a successful future of stressful, occupied years.
The Consequences of Child Success
In The Downside of Being a Prodigy Child, Andrea Sachs points out the ever-increasing pressure on parents to mould their children into outstanding citizens, often causing a sort of “my-child-is-smarter-than-yours” competition among families. In return, these kids develop low-esteem and anxiety issues as they struggle to keep up with their parents’ expectations.
From prenatal education systems like BabyPlus to ridiculous online offers to turn your kid into a genius, there’s as much pressure on children to be achievers as there is for women to be thin.
Photo by Pink Sherbet
How do these children have time to build friendships and develop social skills to accompany their educational endeavours? Where is the value in earning awards and recognition without having anyone there to cheer them on?
Volunteering as a Girl Guider, I’m currently responsible for a group of 15 year old Rangers. These girls – all extremely bright, colorful, mature girls – are so buried in their responsibilities, they barely have time for fun. One girl, for example, has 11 extra-curricular activities, in addition to being on the honour roll and coming home to evenings filled with homework. When I reflect on my own high school experience, I remember slumber parties with my friends and summer days spent poolside, not the part where I poured over math homework every evening. The same people I shared these experiences with are my stable network today.
Kids Need to be Kids
Parents, it is okay to encourage and even push your children in the direction of success by nurturing their talents and abilities. In doing so, you will create an incredibly open-minded, intelligent generation. But let your kids be kids. Allow them to look back on their childhoods and reflect fondly on hide-and-seek, finger-painting and grass-stained jeans. Everyone deserves their childhood.
COMMUNITY CONNECTION
Do you think there is too much pressure on children to succeed? Share your comments.
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17 Comments... join the discussion!
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Yes! As a Mom of 2 girls in NYC (3&5), I feel this. Even in our non-competitive community there are so many after-school activities and classes you feel compelled to sign your kids up for. I have to step back and remind myself that it’s free-form time in the park with their friends, or weekends in the woods, that are teaching them more important lessons.
Thanks for writing this!
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Thanks for the feedback, Claiborne and Angela! I find it all very overwhelming. I grew up in a town where very little extra-curricular activities were offered, and I think I turned out alright.
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I agree, Candice. Seeing kids just plowed with extracurricular activities makes me sad. And as a former band director, I also question how much they’re getting out of each activity. Wouldn’t it be better to really focus on and master one or two activities, rather than become a jack of all trades, master of none? (Not that they NEED to master anything. But I don’t think more is better.)
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Agreed. One glimpse into American children’s sports leagues will support this argument…
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Michelle, that’s an excellent point I didn’t think to mention. Unless, I guess, you’e equally passionate about everything…?
Abbie, yeah, can’t say I’ve had the honour, but I bet it’s messy.
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Couldn’t agree more. I think parents need to stop pushing their kids and paying attention to what they’re actually enjoying and foster that. Easy to say as a DINK (soon to be NINK)…and I guess there’s that balance of “doing what’s best for your children” – which basically translates into financial security (doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc) – and living a fulfilling/well-rounded life.
The education system also has a lot to answer to.
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Great points all around. One of the things parents need to help their kids discover are their natural strengths.
Focus on their strengths and let go of their weaknesses especially when it comes to education.
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I wish you’d kept going, Candice, as there are so many points to bring up for this issue. If we want a look at what future children will become with this type of upbringing, check out former child stars; sacrificing adolescence for often unattainable goals only helps to create a shadow of the adult he or she might have become.
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Thanks for the comments, everyone. There is nothing I hate more than seeing parents push their kids into fields they’re not interested in just because the route is safe and a buttload of money is more important than happiness and satisfaction. Typically the children will adopt this attitude too.
Turner, that’s an excellent point to explore…the future outcome of these kids. I can only imagine what they’ve sacrificed.
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I am so glad my parents let me be a kid. I am smart, and I do love academics, but they really make sure, consciously, that my brother and I have enough down time to not flip out.
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Great article. I am seeing this more and more here in South Korea. The kids I teach get to my school during the evening hours after they have been to public school, and other extracurricular activities like martial arts. Everything is geared toward getting into a good high school when they are young because without that they will not get into a good university. These kids get such little sleep with all of their homework and other activities, and these aren’t just the prodigies, they are teh everyday kids. They don’t seem to have time to just be kids.
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Thank you so much for writing this article. As a high school student who skipped two grades and is maintaining a 98% average in school after returning home from sports and extracurricular activities by ten o’clock, I say amen to that. Do you see how I am already focusing on achievements? I want to be an Atticus Finch of the world, a person of morals, not achievements; as I see it, our focus is currently maladjusted. I am disgusted by the way “Baby Genius” products are springing up all over. And I am in no way, shape, or form proud of anything I have done in my life. What way is this to live? I beg all parents to forget about achievements and what the neighbours would think, at least while they are young, for they will turn out perfectly well in the end.
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Wow, powerful words, Ashley! To be fair, you sound like a well-rounded person who knows the limits. At least you realize there’s more to life than just achievements, right? Wise words to pass on to your own children (should you have them).
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@late_stranger: Me too. Hooray for childhoods!
@Eric: I’ve heard the same sorta things about SK. For example, the kind of school you teach in is an after-school program, right? My god if I had to deal with that as a kid I would have thrown tantrums.
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Yes it is an after school program. Some of the kids are there till 11pm, and when they are out of public school for the Christmas holidays they come to our school for even more lessons.
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I can’t help but think that all these over-scheduled kids are being prepared by their parents to get a nice corporate job that involves working 70 hours a week and kissing lots of butt. I get they’ll be well prepared. yucko.
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