Photo by Canvasoflight

I graduated university with a BA in English. No Honors, no Masters, just a bachelor’s degree. I was all prepped to take a teaching position in South Korea, when a local company offered me me a job as a technical writer. Hell, yeah.

I was damn proud of getting a job in my field. After battling the negativity that comes with doing an arts program (“What are you going to do with that, anyway? Teach?”), I now found telling people my profession a treat. Something to be proud about.

About a year later, I began realizing the job was not for me. I’d sit at my desk, open some technical guides or a binder of documentation, and I’d feel sick. They contained meaningless words, dull material and absolutely no creativity. I’d stay awake later in the evenings in an attempt to delay the arrival of morning.

I had developed such a rigid routine for myself, I could pinpoint the exact minute something would happen. My alarm went off at 8 a.m., by 8:04 I was digging through my closet. I’d appear at my desk at 9:06. At 5:11 I’d head to the gym, and I’d be on the treadmill by 5:25.

Then two weeks ago I was called into the boardroom where I was told they were letting me go. They were apologetic, while I sat there being surprised but not really surprised. I had wanted to leave forever, and here they were handing me my freedom. I collected my things while my boss accompanied me to my computer, giving me a moment to save any personal documents. I thought, “Screw this,” and left.

Now What?

Photo by imacootis

I took two days to mourn the loss of my job. I suddenly missed the tiny details of my day, the routine I had abhorred. The thought of my coworkers wiping my desk clean like I had never worked there made me cry. Regardless of how much I hated the job, it was an essential part of my life. I spent more time with my coworkers on a daily basis than I did with my own family and friends.

But the same morning I was laid off, my roommate Matt made me breakfast and we started to talk ideas. For the first time in my life since I started working 9-5 and freelancing in the evenings, I had time to spare.

Ultimately, my company did me a favor. I was terrified of quitting, and I felt guilty for hating my workload with the company who gave me a head start. I had formed strong bonds with my coworkers, and most contacted me with support when I left. I’m attending the lead writer’s wedding tomorrow. If I had quit abruptly, the story might have been different.

I took almost two weeks to enjoy some careless freedom, to wrap my head around everything. I went home for my town’s Come Home Year celebration: barbecues with relatives I hadn’t seen in years, beach parties with friends, hiking and fishing trips with Dad. Reconnecting with people outside the office made me realize I’d be okay.

Photo by author.

People keep telling me to beware the unemployment depression trap, sitting around in my underwear watching daytime soaps. I had a day where I sat around in a Disney princess inflatable pool drinking beer, but hey, some of us deal with things differently. It’s okay to mope, but not for long.

Get Moving

As soon as I knew I was unemployed, I’d let people know. I tweeted about it, and then I wrote a blog post. The support I received from the connections I’ve made over the past year (and from absolute strangers!) was absolutely overwhelming. Friends even started showing up at my door armed with coffee, cake, and hugs. Every single person who contacted me had the same words of comfort: “This is the best thing that could have happened to you. Now do what you want to do.”

I took care of the painful stuff, applying for repayment assistance with my student loans and filing for Employment Insurance. I realized my debt payments would have to be put on hold. Then I started exploring my options: reviewing job banks, career websites and talking to people about freelance work.

Photo by woozie2010

I decided I needed to establish a routine. Having time to sleep in was absolute bliss, but when one evening I set my alarm clock for the first time in over a week, and felt a little pang of surprise, I knew I had to start setting some rules. Staying out late and eating garlic fingers for breakfast is not cool for long, especially when you discover you’ve been wearing your pants inside out all morning.

Figuring out a new life plan is tricky, and the uncertainty can be terrifying. I still don’t necessarily know what I want, but it doesn’t involve sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day. It does involve travel, writing, and being my own boss.

I’m obviously no expert in the unemployment world, but I’m fortunate to have learned a really important lesson so early in the game: corporations offer amazing benefits, great experience and solid income, but there is no such thing as job security.

Keep that in mind when you’re more concerned about the welfare of your company than your own personal happiness.

Community Connection

What is the future of the workforce? Can we make money while fulfilling our dreams?

Photo from Cat Belly Lovers, by skinnypopme

A great deal of Matador Network’s images come from the Flickr Creative Commons. Throughout our forays, we’ve come across some interesting photo groups.

Some groups are artistic, some are comical. Other groups make you scratch your head. Whatever the case, their content will keep you occupied for awhile.

Single Leaf Extravaganza – I think it’s the title of this group I find so delightful, like there’s a non-stop, 24/7 rave party going on, all focused on a single leaf. Makes me want to run through piles of raked leaves, toss my hands in the air and scream. But seriously, the leaf photography is top notch.

Photo from A Man’s Chest, by SFBart

A Man’s Chest – There’s no way I could pass up an opportunity to conduct some special research in a group like this. Personally I prefer to drool over the rock-hard abs, but how can you not appreciate the pecs? Damn. This group asks for G-rated pictures only, hairy or hairless man boobies are both acceptable.

Seagulls and Pigeons – Okay so maybe this isn’t a “weird” group for everyone, but I find it difficult to find beauty in these winged rodents. They pick apart my garbage when it’s on the curb and poop in my hair. If you truly want to root for the underdog, however, here’s your place.

Cat Belly Lovers - I was expecting to see dozens of groups dedicated to cats and dogs, but not one with such a perfectly defined mission. This group is literally meant for people who appreciate the “furry underneath of cats.” My initial reaction was “people are ridiculous,” but some of these photos are awesome.

Torn Jeans Ladies - This group’s goal is to bring back the fashionable statement of women in torn jeans, but really it’s just an excuse to gawk at women’s butts. Is it just me, or do most of these images not have torn jeans?

Photo from Faces in Places, by Sandy Austin

Faces in Places - My favorite group filled with hilarious faces found in inanimate objects. There’s everything from offset smiles to surprised taps, plus they have
a new book coming out!

Plastic Animals - Displaying photos of plastic animals acting like wild animals. The rules involve: no live animals (or dead ones), no stuffed toys, and no plastic humans or real humans in the photos. Kinda like being on a wild animal safari, except from the comfort of your bedroom. Some of the shots are actually terrific, like Iron Man holding his big white…chicken and the naughty ballerina kitty.

My Feet - No mystery here, people post pictures of their feet. I feel like some of these Flickr groups are a goldmine for fetish folk.

The Secret Life of Toys – A place where people post pictures of what toys are doing when people are not around… or just pictures of toys in general. The discussions are a lovely read, covering such topics as “Do your toys have crappy days?” and “Are some of your toys bullies?” Yep, my Cabbage Patch Doll regularly slaps around Barbie.

Photo from My Kid Ate This! by akatrya

My Kid Ate This! - Again with the urgent, flailing-arms-screaming group title. I first thought this was a group about weird things that kids swallow – like money or toys or candles – but really it’s dedicated to cute food that parents make for their kids. The food is seriously adorable, too.

Gay Wrestling – “Images of men wrestling that would apeal to a gay male audience.” It’s true, the pictures of men body piled against each other in the ring or with their legs wrapped around each other are pretty erotic. Especially in black and white.

Extreme Cross Dressing – I lied, this is my absolute favorite group for trannies crossdressing in extreme situations: “Up a mountain, on a trampoline – they’re extreme. In your living room – not extreme.” This Flickr group has stylish trannies everywhere, fashionably skiing on mountaintops or on the beach in hot-pink ballgowns. I only feel a little sad that some are better dressed than I am.

Community Connection

Share your strange Flickr groups in the comments, or check out Matador’s very own Flickr pool!

]]> http://matadorlife.com/extreme-crossdressing-and-other-fun-flickr-groups/feed/ 2 http://matadorlife.com/the-worst-invention-ever-period/ http://matadorlife.com/the-worst-invention-ever-period/#comments Fri, 02 Jul 2010 22:25:24 +0000 Candice Walsh http://matadorlife.com/?p=6552 Photo by the_toe_stubber

It’s art. At the Royal College of Art’s graduate show in London, students showed off their creations, including an acoustic botanical garden and a “disc with legs” to keep electronics away from water.

Hiromi Ozaki, however, developed the “Menstruation Machine”: a suit for men which releases blood stored in its reservoir over the course of a menstruation cycle, usually lasting about 5 days. It also has lower abdomen stimulating electrodes to mimic painful cramps.

On a compassionate level, this is kind of cool. If you’ve never experienced the dreaded Cycle of Pain that comes with a monthly period, perhaps this will help people get a better understanding of why it’s impossible to function at work when you’re in a cold sweat willing yourself to die. I have friends who compare their period pains to those of labor contractions. That stuff is real.

On the other hand, what the hell? Why would you put yourself through torture? Can you use a tampon with it? What kind of woman makes her loved ones experience such trauma? Is this the ultimate test to determine whether or not your boyfriend is fit for marriage?

Also, where does the blood come from? Can you increase the flow? Why does this exist?

Yes, I did just dedicate a whole post to menstruation. Have a great weekend.

Community Connection

Men, do you fancy yourself a round of the Menstruation Machine? Women, would you giggle with glee? Share your thoughts.

Some people are really good at payback. Consider Regretsy, the website run by April Winchill which displays and mocks all the terrible crap being sold on Etsy. Winchill nails the public humiliation revenge, with humor and harsh words when it comes to creations like the Eco Friendly Mountain Girl Barefoot Sandals and the Lion Tamer Jungle Bra.

Maybe you’re not the most creative person when it comes to mapping out a revenge plan, or maybe you’re more passive aggressive than Winchill. True, it’s hard to be original in a world hell bent on flaming bags of dog poop.

Or you could try my neighbor’s approach to getting even with me and my roommates for throwing a keg party. For them, pooping on our front stoop was the answer. Just a few nights ago, our house got egged. Some people can’t let go.

Photo by gingerpig2000

The world is filled with bitter people stung by the jerks of their past. The following sites make it easy: all you need is some extra cash and a real black soul.

Boxed Revenge

This site sends unusual boxed gifts to people who deserve ill treatment, like a double-fisted-drinking-party-animal wife, or a lazy, beer swilling, good-for-nothing husband.

Some of their products include:

Chocolate flavored laxatives – Despite the telltale packaging, this is a real sweet revenge.

Animal skulls – No fear, the disclaimer notes: “These are road kill or died naturally and found in the wild.”

Roadkill – If you have a spare $50 hanging around.

Horse crap and cow manure – Also available in super-size portions for $30 or more.

Dead flowers and dead bugs – For the emo kid in all of us.

An empty box – To represent the emptiness of the relationship. Poetic.

A stocking filled with coal at Christmas – The perfect holiday revenge!

Crab Revenge

The ultimate revenge (and my personal favorite), this website’s slogan is “Make That Bitch Itch.” Yep, this site sends live crabs to your enemy, where they will take up residence in somebody’s pubes.

Their packages include:

Photo by euthman

Green Package – The standard package, with just enough itch to do the job.

Blue Package – Three times the itch of the green package.

Red Package – The mother of all packages, this high end package is also known as the “F Strain.” This package is so effective, not even Permethrin will get rid of the itch.

The site assures that it’s legit, but apparently legal issues have prevented the owners from divulging too many details about the business. I’m dying to know who farms the crabs in the first place?

Community Connection

Do you think revenge is petty? How would you plot your payback? Share your evil details with us below!

In November 2009, Oprah Winfrey announced to the world that she was calling it quits with her talk show. The world stopped turning, and cities collapsed into the sea. 25 years of television stardom, and now she’s handing over her throne to someone else.
 
It’s fair game: anyone can submit a video testifying why they would make the best new talk show host. Browsing through over 3,000 video applications, the variety of faces and ideas and dreams are exhausting. The talent is endless. Unfortunately, so is the crap.
 
Then there’s this guy.
 
Zach describes himself as a “wheelchair bound lady magnet.” By the end of his video, I was forwarding the link on to all my friends and laughing my face off.
 

 
With over 3-million votes and counting, Zach stands a pretty good chance of stealing the torch from Oprah. Even if he doesn’t win, I’d gladly turn into any television show he decides to star in, because I’m pretty sure it’ll happen.

Community Connection

When television is more addictive than ever, and major networks are cranking out crummy content on a daily basis, can a guy like Zach give us something refreshing to watch? Share your thoughts here.
 

Photo by jurvetson

Every day there’s seemingly a new study proclaiming either good news or bad news. Among the most recent, coffee apparently doesn’t increase a person’s alertness, and Gen-Y workers have the greatest sense of entitlement in history.

Then there’s some studies that offer results more obvious than Ricky Martin’s sexual orientation.

For example, the University of Valencia has proven that beautiful women are bad for men’s health. In the presence of a beautiful lady, stress hormones in men are raised to “dangerously high levels,” particularly if they view the woman as out of their league.

Men get so worked up about it, their stress levels are comparable to the levels of someone who jumps out of a plane.

Was a study necessary to find these answers? Couldn’t the researchers just put a dozen men in a room with a lingerie model and observe them going ga-ga for long legs and thick eyelashes? Furthermore, what does such a study hope to achieve?

Photo by Eddie~S

Another study has also shown that schoolyard bullies target obese kids. Really? I had no idea.

The study was actually developed by the University of Michigan to see if targeting chubby children has decreased now that obesity is more common than ever. But the results showed that being overweight increased chances of being bullied by 63 percent.

I’m not sure what’s more depressing, realizing that possibly thousands and thousands of dollars were used to fuel such studies, or the fact that people didn’t already know this to begin with.

The whole thing brings to mind a South Park episode, “Child Abduction is Not Funny.” In the episode, the parents become concerned about their children’s welfare because the media has bombarded them with news of terrorist attacks and school shootings. Things get out of hand when a study is released to show that a large percentage of child abductions are carried out by someone the child knows personally. The kids are forced to leave home, because they are no longer safe with family.

I’m not a big South Park fan, but the episode has an amusing take on how we react to media influence. Are we taking these studies too seriously? Will women someday have to dress more modestly to prevent the male population from dying out due to heart attacks?

In all seriousness, dumb studies are a fairly common thing. Two years ago, National Post dubbed 2008 “a year of confirming the incredibly obvious.” Among the many studies listed, a few favorites include: young children are a little frightened by clowns, media coverage of a disease inspires more fear of that disease, and teenage drivers are less careful than seniors.

Whew, glad someone cleared those questions up.

Community Connection

Do you think some of these studies are a total waste of time and resources? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Photo by Elvire.R./Feature Photo by Ed Yourdon

We’re a greedy bunch, apparently. In Harvey’s study measuring psychological entitlement and narcissism, he found that that Gen-Y respondents scored 25% higher than respondents age 40 to 60, and 50% higher than those over 61.

The entire study whittles down to a depressing fact: Gen-Y workers want more leisure, less strenuous work, and higher pay, and they’re not willing to go the extra mile for it. Ouch.

Apparently the whole reason for this behavior is the fact we’ve grown up with people shoving the message down our throats that we’re special, and we deserve the very best, always.

Perhaps a more alarming trend, however, is shown by a study carried out by several other universities: there is a huge shift in the attitude toward working with younger employees, and it’s not good.

Take the title of this essay on the same topic, for example: “You’ve heard the whining, now studies back it up.”

Personally, I’m offended.

Could it be that new graduates, fresh out of university, having devoted four or more years to studying their craft, pouring thousands and thousands of dollars into their education, are merely expecting what the universe has promised to them? Lucrative careers, even for those pursuing careers that aren’t high in demand?

We expect big things, with our higher education and the constant push for us to attend post secondary. Because generations and generations before us have sold us these ideals.We see 20-something billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, and we dream big, too.

Or what if the Gen-Y is complaining about their employers because their employers are actually treating them unfairly? I’ve heard more than one story about bosses loading new grads with responsibilities completely unrelated to their profession, like fetching lunch or being the office bitch. I’m not sure when it became a bad thing to not put up with being disrespected.

Photo by garryknight

As is evident across Matador Network and other travel sites, we’re also imbued with the knowledge that we only have one life to live, and we want to live it well. We are well aware of this single truth and our desire to ditch the cubicle. In fact, we’re encouraged to do so. I see absolutely no problem with this; so what if we want to be happy?

Never mind the study doesn’t seem to highlight any Gen-Y employees who actually are eager to work and are fantastic at their jobs. The kind of 20-something folks who show up on time everyday at the office, are open to constructive criticism, work long hours and give it their best shot…even if they don’t necessarily enjoy their work.

The future of the workforce is bleak? I don’t think so. The workforce is a constantly changing entity. Employers will have to deal with it, and they will have to find new ways to cope. Rather than resist, employers need to embrace the unique qualities of Gen-Y: we’re tech savvy, we can multitask at breakneck speeds, and we’re aware of the world.

Treat us young workers with the respect we deserve, and we’ll return it. If you find yourself with a whiny, unmotivated ass, fire him or her and lesson learned. There’s more than enough of us willing and deserving to fill big shoes.

Community Connection

Do you think Gen-Y are a bunch of spoiled brats, or does the workforce need a facelift? Share your thoughts.

Photo by ftzdomino

A recent survey conducted for a sales management training company titled Sandler Training discovered that public attitudes toward salespeople in the United States are pretty grim. So grim that the only thing worse than making cold calls to strangers is getting a root canal.

In fact, people would rather give up sex for a month than call strangers to pitch sales for one week. Either the 1,226 respondents have really boring sex lives, or being a salesperson is definitely the worst job in the world.

The options seem a little uneven, though. Comparing surgery, sex, and sales? Sex is the only pleasurable experience, and the least humiliating (most of the time). But all surveys have their quirks: consider the “Top-secret Librarian Sex Survey” of 1992, which caused the surveyor, Will Manley, to lose his job. Some of the questions asked librarians to identify their first sexual experience with a Shakespeare title (the most popular answer was A Comedy of Errors). Then again, it does get people talking.

I’m not sure what kind of enlightenment we’re supposed to achieve from these surveys, or what kind of insights we should gain about humanity. But I’m pretty sure a Bathroom Habits Survey won’t reveal the true meaning of the actions behind someone who drops four squares of toilet paper into the toilet before using it to prevent splash-back. Some of us need confirmation that we’re not weirdos, perhaps?

Regardless, we’re dying to know: what would you prefer doing instead of cold calls?

Community Connection

Inspired by the famous PostSecret project, we invited Matadorians to share a little part of their private lives. The weird things you do when you’re alone in the house, the regrets you’ve been harboring for years, the secret resentment towards your loved ones, even the silly pleasures of your day. Anything goes.

Surprisingly, we received just a few secrets. Everybody loved the idea, but when it came to baring all, it seems there was some reluctance. What’s holding us back? Why has it become so taboo to share our feelings?

Viewing those short, intimate insights into someone’s world makes us all feel a human connection. Maybe you can let out a sigh of relief and say, “Thank God I’m not the only one.”

1. Loneliness isn’t an easy thing to admit, I’m glad you did.

2. Take the enrichment from that experience to right your wrongs. A guilty conscience is a good thing.

3. It took me awhile to comprehend the significance of a five year old writing a suicide note. I hope you find happiness, I think you will.

Community Connection

Didn’t get a chance to submit? There’s still time! Simply follow the directions in our Call For Submissions, and we’ll share your secret. It’s completely anonymous, I promise.

A few years ago, a company named Sustainable Dance Club (SDC) introduced a dance floor used to power an entire nightclub. In Rotterdam’s club WATT, the stomping feet of dancers powers the club’s light system and music. There’s even a huge battery life monitor to keep people interactive and dancing.

Here’s how it works:

The deputy mayor of Toulouse wants to take this technology and apply it to “pavement power,” generating electricity for street lamps simply by people strolling along the sidewalk.

As a trial run, eight modules have already been installed in Toulouse. Their design differs from the dance club, however, because the modules have to be modified to work for walkers instead of dancers.

Why not combine both? How different would our evenings be if we had to dance our way home, whirling on the sidewalk, looping arms with passer-bys and kicking up heels? Street lights wouldn’t just light up, they’d blare music into the streets. Waltz to some Sinatra, or break out the parachute pants for some Hammer Time.

Imagine a city where people wouldn’t move along the street with heads down, but do the funky-chicken in passing. Or grind on people to keep the vibe alive, like the couple in the following video.

I do suggest pulling less awkward moves than the ones shown here. Even the DJ seems bored, although the fate of the club rests entirely on his shoulders as he is responsible for the stiff dancers who are in turn responsible for keeping the music going, like a vicious cycle. If the powered pavement worked in the same manner, how would you feel about being responsible for shutting down a whole town?

Community Connection

What do you think, are powered pavement and dance floors a good way to practice sustainability? Will the long-term benefits outweigh the current costs?

Photo by joanna8555

Barbie has received a lot of attention since her birth in 1959. She became an instant role model for younger girls, with her first career choice being a fashion model.

Since then, Barbie has switched professions as easily as a game of musical chairs: 124 in total. She became an astronaut (years before a man even landed on the moon), a nurse, a gymnast, and even an American Idol winner.

Her latest career of choice is a computer engineer.

You might think sitting at a desk all day writing code is less than glamourous. You’re right, although the programmers I work with have a series of inside jokes and cryptic IM status updates I fail to understand. I assume they prefer I never figure it out.

But much to Mattel’s surprise, people wanted to see Barbie go geek. A month-long voting campaign launched in January on Barbie.com brought in over 600,000 votes. Anyone could vote, and although “Anchorwoman Barbie” was the choice for young girls, the rest of the world just wanted to see Barbie put on some nerdy glasses and talk l33t.

How Did Geek Go Chic?

I’m a little upset. Back when I was in high school, my inner geek was abhorred rather than embraced. I hid her behind the latest trends and pop music.

Photo by weelakeo

Now there are even websites like Geek Girl Camp, dedicated to “empowering women through technology, one geek at a time.” The site is hot pink and outrageously girly, but covers topics like “Mac Tips” and “Photoshop.”

You can find geek inspired clothing, or use Geek 2 Geek to find a romantic partner or friend who shares your particularly quirky ways. Someone who appreciates Star Wars, or who can also snort their way through a Monty Python movie.

In reality, the geek movement started back in the 80s with Family Matters and Steve Urkel (Jaleel White). That young man’s ability to turn a simple task into a dangerous fiasco was outstanding, as was his complete disregard for color coordination, and his passion for cheese.

The geek movement has been here all along, it seems. The Internet just gave it a push.

Why Barbie Has The Ability To Change Girls’ Futures

Barbie’s geek look includes a ponytail, black leggings, a shirt that says “Barbie” in binary code, eyeglasses, and a Bluetooth headset. And of course she’s still tall, thin, blonde, and hot. She even comes with a top secret code used to unlock online games at Barbie.com.

Mattel says, “Having Barbie as a new ambassador for female computer engineers can help inspire a new generation of girls to hone in on their computer skills and become part of a growing profession.”

Why is this so important? According to the National Center for Women & Information Technology, women are desperately needed in the computer and information sciences field. Working women geeks are actually on the decline: in 1985, women received 37% of computer science degrees; in 2008, that number was just 18%.

The only major concern is how the guy geeks’ productivity will fare once the girl geeks start taking over.

Community Connection

Do you think Barbie has the ability to encourage girls to seek more male-dominated careers? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo by Villain Media, LLC.

Food sex immediately brings to mind strawberries dipped in chocolate, flavored body paint and whipped cream. Sometimes mayonnaise and cold cut meats. No? Just me?

But there are a few questionable examples of food and sex combinations that leave me wondering how people make these discoveries in the first place.

Semen as the main ingredient

There’s a whole cookbook dedicated to cooking with semen. The description says that semen is nutritious, has a great texture, and is “commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants.”

“Pan full of manjuice.” Photo by dogbomb

The book covers drink, desserts, appetizers, sauces, and main courses. This means you could host your very own ejaculate dinner party, with Man Made Oysters to start, Roasted Lamb with Good Gravy for the main dish, and top it all off with Creamy Cum Crepes.

Bonus: invite guests over early to “lend a hand” with dinner preparations.

Placenta lasagne, anyone?

Placenta recipes relate more to what happens as a result of sex. It’s practically a delicacy – how often do you get to eat your own placenta, the mass which connects your baby to your uterus? Put a little salt on that thing, pepper to taste, and voila. First class meal.

Or why not try a placenta cocktail? Take a ¼ cup of fresh placenta, some V-8 juice, two ice cubes and ½ cup of carrots, throw it all in a blender and blend at high speed for 10 seconds.

There’s also placenta spaghetti bolognese, and roast placenta.

Or instead of cooking it, you can dehydrate your placenta and just add it to any meal.

Simply cut off the chord and membranes, steam the placenta, and add lemon grass, pepper and ginger to the water. Test if it’s done by piercing it with a fork: if it doesn’t bleed, it’s good. Then cut it up, and bake at low heat until it’s dry and crumbly. You can then crush it into a powder, if desired.

Your mouth is watering, isn’t it?

This is a photo caption with a phil denton

Chocolate vaginae

Moulding a chocolate vagina might just be the best way to express love for your vagina, or your partner’s vagina. Did anyone else not realize that the plural of vagina is “vaginae”? Thanks, Twitter followers, for looking that one up.

The kit comes with everything needed, just add water! Plus everything’s been medically tested, and it’s “completely safe for the novice moulder.” Perhaps the more experienced moulder would prefer a complex recipe, dress it up a bit with sauces and candy.

There’s no description of the directions though, but the site stresses that it’s strictly for the outer portion of the vagina.

Ladies, nothing speaks romance like having your man unwrap a giftbox containing your carefully placed chocolate vagina.

Community Connection

For more chocolate romance, check out these gourmet creations, or learn why sushi is the perfect foreplay food.

Photo by LizaWasHere

It took me hours to pull together these websites. There is something outrageously addictive about chasing cartoon animals across a computer screen or participating in impromptu spelling bees. Try not to wrestle the computer away from your kid.

8-10 Years Old

Addicting Games
A website with a huge selection of games. Try taking care of a dog at the Doggy Day Care, or shoot some hoops with Slam Dunk.

There are games for older players as well. Why not take down a college student in Don’t Taze Me Bro?

Andkon Arcade
Just good old-fashioned fun games. I must admit, I got distracted by the Bubble Shooter for at least 20 minutes, and failed miserably. Or try the Dress Up Yoda game and listen to his silly comments.

Photo by tinyfroglet

Discovery Kids
For the little nerd, this site has excellent educational games including trivia and puzzles. Keep the crabs away by squirting them with water, or get creative and design a bedroom.

5-7 Years Old

StarFall
A site that teaches kids how to read with phonics. Cutesy characters and big fonts help kids sound out letters slowly by following a story, like My Horse Glory. Say it with me: M-y H-ORR-s Gl-or-eeee.

Club Penguin
If your kid has a particular desire to dress, act and socialize like a penguin, this is the site to visit.

Dreambox
The website name cleverly disguises the fact that this site has online math games for kindergartners to third graders. Try a trial version to inspire some mathematical love.

Poptropica
A more personalized experience, kids are able to pick the age, gender and appearance of their character. I took Calm Owl on an epic journey through Early Poptropica, and then Nabooti for a “Choose Your Own Adventure.” The perfect game for wanderlusters.

Webkinz
Webkinz is like the exclusive VIP section of the gaming world for toddlers – unlimited access requires purchasing a Webkinz stuffed animal. Once the kid has access, he or she can play games and interact with their animal like a virtual pet.

Photo by Theme Park Mum

Kaboose
Games for kids AND moms. Have the little ones play Fishin Mission while you kick butt at Super Hyper Spider Typer. (Nailed that one, by the way. Let’s see how you do.)

Preschoolers

Sesame Street
It’s hard to resist the charm of Cookie Monster as he counts oranges in Spanish. Kids can also play Magical Numbers with the Count and learn shapes with Big Bird.

PBS Kids
For the kids who want to get to know their favorite cartoon characters a little better. Clifford the big red dog is always willing to play, or they can explore Storybook Village with Super Why.

TreehouseTV
Print off some Bernstein Bears coloring pages or play games based on kids’ favorite cartoons.

Nick Jr
Games for preschoolers, including endless Dora the Explorer possibilities and other familiar characters like Max and Ruby.

Finally, if you’re a parent worried about the kind of content your kid is browsing through, check out KidZui. This is the mother of all toddler gaming browsers, allowing access to 2.5 million sites, games and videos approved by teachers and parents. And it’s free!

Community Connection

Let your child’s creativity run wild with Tux Paint. For more serious gaming, learn more about World of Warcraft or the colorful world of Second Life.

We reached out to the Matador community to find people who quit their jobs to pursue their passions in life. The result? Total happiness.

Let these people be your inspiration the next time you’re stuck gazing out the office window on a sunny day.

1. Alex Hackett just handed in his notice at a media marketing firm to bike across America (from San Francisco, CA to Boston, MA), raising money for the American Cancer Society while encouraging others to get out and live their lives. Alex and his buddy Evan plan to couchsurf and camp, sharing their story along the way, all the while honoring the memories of their mothers who were both victims of cancer.

2. Erin de Santiago left behind a 12 year legal career in California to move to Taiwan to be with her now husband, and to pursue her dream of being a travel writer and photographer. Erin met her husband through an online travel site, and then at a Las Vegas get-together in 2008. He lived in the Netherlands but was making the move to Taiwan, and Erin agreed to join him. Just a year later, they were married and fulfilling their dreams of travel, while Erin is making great strides to become published in such places as CNN (online and TV), and Examiner. Here they are exploring Taroko Gorge in Taiwan.

3. Keith Savage is a soon-to-be world traveler: his need for meaning and excitement finally outweighed the comfort and luxury of a nice salary. Come fall, he plans to travel 3-4 times per year for about a month at a time, all while having a wife, house and cats to return home to after each period. A compromise that works!

4.
Joel Ward is leaving one “dream job” for another. Currently he works on developing resorts around the world; but he’s tired of running from place to place, sitting in meetings and staying in hotels tailored to business travelers. In July, he’s taking the slow road around the world, starting in Europe and letting things develop naturally… and he’s doing it by bike. He plans to rent a room for a month or more at a time, set up shop and unload his gear, and cycle to nearby towns and cities to explore more extensively. This photo was taken in Angeles National Forest.

5.Carina Port quit her successful job as an editor because she could no longer stand the climate controlled office and daily boredom. Her profession of choice: chicken farmer. Carina says she’s already sunburned and thinner, and has written more in less than a month than she has in the 3 years at her old job. She started the chicken and organic vegetable farm with a friend, and they sell grass fed beef at a local farmer’s market. She’s even restoring an old house!

6.Allan Karl founded one of the top 50 digital advertising agencies in the USA. Then, as the economy tumbled, he quit. He sold virtually everything he owned, and rode his motorcycle around the world. He’s been gone three years, and covered 62,000 miles, 35 countries and 5 continents. He’s currently writing two books and spreading the word of freedom through public speaking. Follow him on Twitter.

7.From February 2007 to March 2008, Sean Aiken traveled around North America, working 52 jobs in 52 weeks for The One Week Job Project. Instead of pursuing a career straight out of college, he found a unique way to figure out exactly what he wanted to do. Anyone could offer him a job for one week, and all earnings went towards the ONE/Make Poverty History campaign: a total of $20,401.60. He tried it all: bungee instructor, dairy farmer, baker, firefighter, and more. Here’s Week 51, the Air Force.

8.A year ago, Daniel Nahabedian and a friend did the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in Spain. It was such a life changing experience that once he returned home to his well paid, stable job in the UAE, it never felt the same. Dan resigned four months later, picked up his camera and decided to leave for an unlimited period of time traveling around the world. He’s currently taking a short break to live in Thailand while working on his photography business, and his ultimate dream is to be a freelance travel photographer/blogger. He says, “The only person blocking the way of our dreams is ourselves.”

Community Connection

Have you quit your 9 to 5 job too, and in pursuit of your passions? Share in the comments below.

Photo by bowena

Few people actually exchange letters via snail mail anymore. Nowadays we’re all about quick e-mails, Facebook wall posts and Tweets. But the handwritten letter is personal because it requires more thought, more time, and some creativity.

I started pen-palling when I was six years old. My grandmother referred me to a local publication where kids my age advertised for pen-pals within the province. I placed my ad, and waited.

A few weeks later, dozens of letters started showing up in my mailbox. I was beyond thrilled. The first was from a girl named Mandy, who wrote her letter on hot-pink cardboard Barbie stationery. I still have it somewhere.

Unfortunately, Mandy was a lousy pen-pal who barely wrote more than a few lines per letter and then eventually ignored me entirely. If you’re a newbie to the snail mail world, there’s a few things to keep in mind.

Photo by anniehp

Don’t take a year to reply

This may seem like an obvious one, but there’s a major annoyance that comes with waiting for super delayed letters. Especially when you put so much time and effort into writing yours.

People are understandably busy, but set aside an hour in the evening before bed to work on it. On the other hand, quality is more important than speed, so make sure you have something good to send.

Don’t just seek out people with similar interests

Some of the coolest people I’ve ever corresponded with were my total opposites. Some listened to heavy metal while I listened to classic rock, others were married and had children while I was finishing up my last year of high school. I learned a lot from these friends, and they were good company during my silly teenage trials.

Send little gifts

Postage is expensive, but a little extra effort never hurts. Stick some colorful stickers into an envelope, or ship a book. Even photographs are a great change of pace from all the digital images these days.

My pen-pals used to send little homemade greeting cards on occasion, and sometimes postcards from their hometown. It’s somewhat surprising how those little extras can brighten up a person’s day.

Be a good listener

Photo by jenna.kaminsky

Matador Network editor Joshua Johnson got it right when he said, “Don’t make it all about yourself.” Reading pages upon pages of someone’s life story moaning about their cat’s upset stomach is a bummer. I once had a pen-pal who literally sent me a list of her medical conditions. An actual list. I can sympathize, but not for 16 pages.

Comment on the person’s letter, address any questions they have, and then ask them questions about their life as well. This tends to happen naturally: if someone writes a lengthy letter, there’s lots to discuss. People are flattered when you ask about their lives, it means someone is listening.

Find some pen-pals

Finally, there’s an incredible number of resources for finding pen-pals, especially online. Try InterPals, where you can meet and talk to thousands of people seeking new friends, or PenPal World, with over 750,000 registered users.

Also extend an offer to online friends, via Twitter or other social media. Doing so will often result in postcard or letter exchanges, and sometimes from surprising places.

Community Connection

Do you still write handwritten letters, or do you prefer emails?

Photo by whatmegsaid/ Feature photo by bonjourpeewee

Frank Warren’s Post Secret phenomena started in 2003, with a trip to Paris and a dream. I mean a real dream – he bought some postcards and later dreamt about them being written with cryptic messages, like “unrecognized evidence, from forgotten journeys, unknowingly rediscovered.”

Warren then went on to start the “reluctant oracle” project, pieces of art with messages tucked into bottles and set adrift on Maryland’s Clopper Lake. The last message, “You will find your answers in the secrets of others,” inspired Post Secret.

With Post Secret, people send Warren their deepest, darkest secrets in the form of anonymous postcard art. Sometimes they’re quirky and funny, but often they’re heartbreaking and shocking. Each one is a unique glimpse into the private world of somebody else, the most intimate details of our lives revealed.

Now We Want to See Yours

The response to Post Secret was (and still is) enormous, sparking several book compilations and inspiring others to participate in their own way. Now I’m asking you to open up to me.

Photo by whatmegsaid

Send me your work of art, complete with a secret, and it’ll be published in a photo essay. It can be a digitally altered image or a scanned one, I’m giving you complete artistic license to share with us at Matador Network a private part of your life.

Here’s how you do it anonymously:

1. Go to Sendspace.com
2. Upload the image
3. In the description field, enter Post Secret
4. For recipient’s email, enter candice@matadornetwork.com
5. For your email, enter candice@matadornetwork.com

I will be notified of the image, and then sent a link for access. I will never need to know who sent the image, so your secret is safe with me.

Due Date: Keep them coming, we’ll do more than one feature.

Community Connection

Learn how to send postcards from your iPhone, or learn how to write a letter instead.

Photo by emilio labrador

We already know the social media douchebag, but there are specific actions that really get under our skins. Kinda like public nose-picking or assertive, unwanted flirting.

Here are some of the top social media faux pas we hate.

The Know-It All

This is the person who lurks around Facebook and negatively comments on everything. It very well could be a family member, or a close friend. Matador Nights editor Kate Sedgwick says: “There is a woman who inserts herself into nearly every thread on many friends’ pages and reprimands commenters for their choice of words with a complete absence of humor. Usually she is commenting on a joke she fails to perceive.”

The Know-It-All will often have any opinion that goes contrary to the rest of the world. You know, when everyone is all a-buzz about the 2010 World Cup, this person will update their status with: “Who cares about the World Cup? We’re wasting millions of dollars.”

The Witless Wonder

The world doesn’t want to hear about the peanut butter sandwich you’re currently eating, or the color socks you’re wearing and certainly not how bored you are. Nobody ever cares as much as you do.

Photo by webtreats

The Internet Boyfriend or Girlfriend Wannabe

Probably the most drastic mistake you can make as a social media user is scouting out potential love interests, like Matador Life editor Leigh Shulman’s experience: “The guys who IM under guise of something professionally related but then it somehow makes its way around to them telling you how cute your profile picture is. Cute? I’m not a puppy.”

Heather Carreiro also dislikes these greaseballs: “Guys who not only hit on you, but who continue to send you photos of themselves. Hey, it’s me with my motorbike. Here’s me with my dog. And fifty photos of me with my car.”

There are Internet dating services for this kind of thing. Use them.

The Internet Stalker

Don’t follow someone if they have no photo, no location or barely any activity in their profile. I sometimes accept friend requests from strangers thinking I may know them through someone else, but usually they’re people who want to creep on my profile and send me endless Facebook chat messages.

If we have nothing in common at all, the only reason I can think of you contacting me is to get in my pants. That’s not the way to do it.

The Opinionated Brown-Noser

Don’t be the person who is in love with their own perspective on life and cannot be convinced to listen to other opinions. They’re usually the person who likes to put their nose in everyone’s business, even if they’re not welcome. This person likes to follow up a smug comment with a winking-face: . As if that annoying little one-eyed bastard makes everything better.

The Bible Quoter or Inspiration Giver

Freedom of speech is cool, and I’m all for learning about religion, but can you throw in a little variety every now and then? You know, so I don’t feel like my soul is going to be consumed in fiery hell?

Please leave out the inspirational quotes as well. Like Mike Sowden says: “Nothing says, ‘I have nothing to say today’ more than a good Mark Twain quote.”

Photo by topgold

The Dreaded Spammer

A Spammer is someone who will send out 20 messages in a row, apparently at random and without ever actually paying attention to what they’re posting and will generally alienate their following. Kate Sedgwick finds this group particularly annoying because “their posts become a bunch of noise in unbroken chains of links and updates. I prefer selective posters who select nuggets to share, not people who spray us all down with information I then have to weed through.”

Spamming also includes game invites and updates. I will not help you hunt down a ural liberation front contact in Mafia Wars; I don’t even know what the hell that means. I also don’t care if your virtual sheep is starving to death on Farmville. Butcher the stupid animal and move on.

The Bogans (Not to Be Confused With the Brogan)

“Bogan” is an Aussie term for “redneck.” I have several of these on my Facebook, which I keep around mostly for entertainment. The horrid spelling and grammar and mind-blowing mundane status updates never fail. Here’s a real one:

Oh my watching john play game. My little gurl playin with my belly saying i want 2 babies. She dont wanna settle for just 1 lol. Tells her theres only 1 in mommys belly and she no 2.

The Self-Proclaimed Expert
Let’s say you put a call out on Twitter, Facebook or Linked In asking for information and you end up with the needlessly long, over-hyped response from someone who claims to be THE expert on the topic. Nobody else could compete with this person’s knowledge, it’s just not possible. They have a book.

True story: there is always someone who knows more than you do. Deal with it.

Community Connection

What social media faux pas do you hate, or what faux pas have you committed? Share in the comments.

Photo by Aschaf

The origins of poutine are in Quebec, but have long been disputed between the two towns of Warwick and Drummondville. Warwick claims their recipe was established in a now-closed restaurant named L’Ideal, while Drummondville’s poutine originated in Le Roy Jucep.

Nobody is sure exactly when and where the dish was created, but its greasy-goodness fame has spread globally.

How to make your own poutine

Here’s how you can create the perfect poutine in less than 30 minutes.

Ingredients

• 1 quart vegetable oil for frying
• 1 (10 1/4 ounce) can beef gravy, or homemade gravy
• Store-bought plain French fries, or 5 whole potatoes cut into fries
• 2 cups cheese curds or cheese of preference

Steps

1. Heat oil in a deep fryer at 365 degrees (Fahrenheit). Or if you don’t have a fryer, use a skillet.

2. Warm the gravy.

3. Heat the fries in the oil until they turn brown.

4. When cooked, remove fries and blot with paper towels to remove excess grease.

5. Smother fries with cheese.

Photo by tuppus

6. Smother cheese with hot gravy.

Voila! The meal to make your arteries scream.

How Do You Like Your Poutine?

The above recipe is probably the simplest way to create a poutine, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that there are no real rules.

Cheese curds or shredded cheddar, gravy or special sauce, ketchup heaped on top or not… keep searching until you find that special, favorite flavor. Trust me, it’s a culinary adventure.

There are also regional differences across Canada that help give a little kick.

Quebec - Replace the gravy with poutine sauce, an arguably more popular option among many Canadians. Being from Newfoundland, I’m never entirely certain how the rest of the country does things, including food. The sauce is like thickened chicken stock, seasoned with pepper and onion flavoring, and powdered mixes can be bought in grocery stores.

Newfoundland and Labrador – Newfoundlanders and Labradorians like to add “dressing” (turkey stuffing) to their poutines, a combination of bread crumbs, savory, and onions. When the dressing becomes soaked with the gravy, it adds great texture.

Nova Scotia – Nova Scotians are big on lobster poutine, which is like a regular poutine but includes lobster meat, chopped chives and hollandaise sauce with halloumi cheese.

Other Atlantic Canadian additions – Some places in Atlantic Canada top their poutines with donair meat, which probably has about the same nutritional outcome as adding bacon to caramel corn.

International Poutine – If you’d rather go international, try the Italian-style poutine, which replaces the gravy with spaghetti sauce and is topped with ground beef. Mexican poutine includes fries, carne asada, guacamole, sour cream, pico de gallo and cheese, and can also be served with hot sauce.

Community Connection

Where in the world have you experienced the best poutine? And what other foods do you know that make your arteries sing? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo by skippyjon

We turn on the TV, and there’s a new diet regime. Some movie star is strutting around in a bikini for Jenny Craig. Pie charts and bar graphs show us that heart disease is the deadliest killer in the USA. Is any of this getting through?

Some people, like Britain’s Jamie Oliver, feel a revolution is needed now. Food Revolution is his reality show, and it takes place in Huntington, West Virginia where obesity runs rampant. The approach is simple: expose the truth, shock people and educate the masses.

Changing how we see food

Jamie points out that people have been manipulated by media hype such as colorful ads from both fast food restaurants and food packaging companies. Food is a vital part of our lives, for more reasons than the obvious. We use food to entertain guests, to discuss business matters outside the office, and simply for indulgence and pleasure. It’s also a beloved part of travel. These social habits quickly become a part of our daily routine and a source of comfort.

But when we start enjoying food in excess, it becomes a problem. Like Donna Simpson, a controversial woman whose sole ambition is to become the fattest woman in the world. Seriously, that’s her ambition. People actually pay money to watch her eat.

Food should be a part of your life, but not your whole life. Work with it. Meals don’t have to take a long time, anyone can cook, and fast food is not as cheap as you think it is.

So how do we start the process of change?

Photo by jonfeinstein

Food education starts with our kids

Jamie’s biggest winning point is education, beginning with kids. In his TED talk, Jamie stuns the audience by showing clips of him asking young children to name the vegetable he’s holding. One guesses that tomatoes are potatoes, and another has no idea what cauliflower is.

He stresses the fact that kids cannot possibly make healthy choices when they have absolutely no idea what good food is. We learn everything in school except nutrition and how to cook healthy meals. Why?

Later, Jamie meets with the school cooks to discuss the food being prepared for the kids. The cooks get defensive, insisting they just do as they’re told, but are unable to really identity any of the ingredients used in their meals. He also sits down with parents who feed their children a constant flow of junk food, emphasizing that for the first time in history, children will live for a shorter amount of time than their parents. Ten years.

If we’re leading this kind of example for our kids, what else can we expect?

Shock value, as proven by Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation, is another educational tactic. During his TED talk, Jamie unloads a wheelbarrow filled with sugar cubes: the amount a child consumes in one year just from drinking flavored milk. We’re used to thinking milk is a wonderful thing, but just because it says “milk” doesn’t necessarily mean its healthy.

Making healthy decisions about food is the answer

Absorbing this knowledge is fine, but then you have to do something about it.

The best part about Jamie Oliver’s ambition is that as a professional chef, he’s able to offer real advice and recipes for a healthier lifestyle. He provides interaction for even viewers at home. All you have to do is log onto the ABC website and track down whatever dish tickles your fancy. How about a broccoli and squash medley, or some chicken chow mein?

That being said, a simple Google search for “healthy food recipes” returns enough results to keep yourself busy for weeks to come. Bon appetit.

Community Connection

What do you think? Are our food choices really as bad as we think, and can we start a revolution?

Photo by Roldan Smith

The whole world is big on census taking. New Zealand, Canada and Australia conduct censuses every 5 years, and the UK every 10 years.

Some people are put off by the practice. Discovering that envelope marked “YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW” is a little intimidating. After all, failure to provide the necessary information could result in jail time in the USA. That’s a big deal just for someone who doesn’t want their privacy invaded. Is this violating freedom of choice?

Privacy concerns

The official census website says your private information is never published, like names, addresses, Social Security numbers, and telephone numbers. The Census Bureau also cannot release this information to other federal agencies, such as law enforcement.

Photo by willhowells

In 72 years, however, the information is made public. You probably won’t be around to care, but at some point people are going to know where you were and who you were living with in 2010. This timeframe varies: in Canada, private information isn’t released until 92 years are up.

Is the census worth it?

Among many uses for the population count, the Bureau needs to know how to divvy up more than $400-billion in federal funding to be used for hospitals, job training centers, senior centers, emergency services and more.

In the past, some states like Alabama and New York with higher populations of low-income families had low participation rates. This means that it is likely some areas in need didn’t get the money they deserved. Would more inclusive involvement cause the money to be spread more evenly?

Also, these campaigns are costing an arm and a leg. In the US, $6.5 billion helps allow politicians to push all those lovely, guilt-inspiring televisions ads. There’s also an online map to track participation rates.

But this year the Census Bureau has devoted a lot of time and effort into stressing the importance of returning the information. For example, for the first time ever, a bilingual (English-Spanish) questionnaire is being handed out.

Also, those leading nomadic lifestyles are being counted in: the Bureau has hired some shamelessly persistent census ninjas. Chris Dunphy and Cherie Ve Ard of Technomadia were tracked down while on the road, despite having no fixed address. While a census taker showing up at an RV door is surprising, it’s really a good thing that nomads could potentially benefit from the extra effort. There’s even a Transitory Location Questionnaire specifically for people on the move.

What do you think? Could the census results potentially bring positive changes to the places that need it, or is it a total waste of time and an invasion of privacy?

Community Connection

Photo by tombothetominator

You can’t escape death, no matter what you do to prevent it. You can wear helmets, avoid dark alleyways, and wrap yourself in bubble wrap. If you chose not to ever leave your home, sit on the couch and dread the outside world, chances are the ceiling would collapse on your head. Or a freak tornado would rip through the house and toss you upside down.

Take the 38 year old father of two killed by a plane while jogging along a beach. I’m sure he didn’t get up in the morning and think, “I better not go for a run today, I might get hit by a plane.”

Or the female driver whose car was rammed by a lorry in England, resulting in her vehicle being pushed sideways along a motorway because the driver didn’t see her. Did she get back into her car the next day, or decide to never drive again?

Photo by kevindooley

I have lots of trouble dealing with death. The thought of not getting everything done in my lifetime is terrifying. The thought of not knowing what happens next is overwhelming. Yet there’s people that risk their lives everyday: firefighters, policemen, soldiers.

Death is a part of our daily lives.

The only way I can figure out how to deal with it is to look at it from a different angle. Like The Darwin Awards, meant to “commemorate those who improve our gene pool…by accidentally removing themselves from it.”

Take this one:

Down here in Florida we have some rabid Marlins fans. A few days before the Marlins game, two supporters decided to show their loyalty by constructing a paper banner. Wanting to display their efforts prominently, they chose the Metro Rail overpass at a point where it crossed a major thoroughfare. The banner would proclaim the superiority, not to mention the high testosterone content, of the city. Unfortunately, their plans were not altogether complete. Neither had the foresight to procure a Metro Rail schedule. As they hung the banner, the Metro thundered toward them. Both were struck by the automated train. One was killed, the other left wounded to tell the tale. The banner was unharmed.

Photo by cyanocorax

When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.

No amount of good luck will prevent it. Like the Italian woman who missed the fateful Air France flight from Brazil to France which plunged into the ocean killing all those on board, and then not long after died in a car accident.

Putting your fear and anxieties aside is necessary to live any kind of life. This means working outside your normal, everyday comfort zones and doing things that you often find challenging.

Comfort zones can be deceiving.

These zones are familiar and welcoming, and so they cause us to be less aware and cautious of our surroundings. Perfect example: I have lived in this current neighborhood for a year now. I walk to and from work, the gym, the grocery store and other parts of town at least four times a day. And while some of my neighbors are shady characters, I never imagined the police might find a grenade along the route I take regularly. But they did, just last week. In a town where crime rate is next to nil, there’s something hair-raising about knowing what might have happened.

Explore different ideas.

Take it one day at a time. Search for a different perspective on death, like the Mexicans who celebrate El Día de Todos los Santos (All Saints Day) and El Día de los Muertos (All Souls Day). These festivities come from an ancient indigenous practice centered on the belief that the souls of the dead return each year to party with the living. If the afterlife is just one big party, I’m cool with that.

Community Connection

How has fear kept you from doing the things you love? How did you overcome it?

As a full time technical writer and a part-time travel writer, a great deal of my life is online. My email is often the first thing I check in the morning, and the last thing I shut down at night. There are times when I get panicked if I’m away from the computer for so long.

For example, as I’m writing this on my lunch break, the office’s Internet is down. I keep sporadically refreshing my browser, just in case I miss something important. Like an email announcing the implosion of the universe.

The same goes for writing online. I spend so much time talking to Matador Life’s editor Leigh Shulman that our work chats eventually lead to men discussions or stories about the tadpoles in the backyard of her garden. I even know the color of her new couch. Red, custom made.

We editors are all spread out across the globe, so the Internet is really our only option.

But the world doesn’t stop when you’re offline. I came to this realization last week, when I had planned on devoting my entire Sunday afternoon to catching up on work. But the day was uncharacteristically beautiful, the first hint of spring, and I was aching to get outside. My roommate Renee and I went for a three hour hike instead, we ate ice-cream and sat atop Signal Hill looking out at the Atlantic Ocean. I thought, “These moments are the kind you live for. Not the ones sitting in front of a computer screen.”

While it’s impractical to cut out the Internet entirely, here are a few ways to cut back on your Internet addiction.

Understand your offline relationships are the most important.

I like to think the people I’ve encountered over the past few months are my friends. They’re an amazing support network, a community of like-minded people. But it’s important to nurture the “real life” relationships, the people who have been there from the beginning. The kind of friends who will bail you out of the drunk tank, or lend you some money when all you can afford to eat is canned soup. This especially applies to family members.

Take time everyday to enjoy moments with friends and family. If you’re like me, working from 9-5, you spend most of your life with colleagues. Sanity needs to be preserved.

Make time to connect with Internet friends offline.

Photo by xiordashx

If you’re connecting with so many people online, actually make the effort to meet up with them in real life. Meeting someone for the first time offline is more than a little intimidating, but you really can’t tell what kind of a bond you actually have until you’re face to face. Attend a Travel Blog Exchange, book a suite apartment with a bunch of travelers and party until daylight. Or crash on someone’s couch via Couchsurfing.

Resist fancy phones with data packages.

I have purposely refused to buy an iPhone simply because I know I’ll be checking my phone constantly for texts and Facebook messages. Sometimes I find myself out with friends, checking my emails. Why? What is the hurry?

You’ll end up being that douchebag, the one with his/her nose buried in a phone being too arrogant to participate in real conversation.

If you’re a traveler and you need your phone to get work done, this may not work for you. But at least limit your phone time. Buy a more restrictive phone package, or simply place it in a drawer far from sight for a period of time each day.

Have an unplugged, offline day.

One whole day, sun-up to sun-down. Think you can handle it? Make a big breakfast, finish some laundry, run some errands, join a friend for a cup of tea, read something from the stack of books on your nightstand, go for a jog, sit outside in the sun. Life really does happen beyond the computer.

Find other ways to connect with people.

Facebook, instant messenger, and email are the most popular methods of communication between me and my real life friends. It’s convenient and quick, and a great way to communicate with several people at once.

But draw the line somewhere. Instead of instant messaging a friend to ask if they’d like to go for a walk, pick up the phone. Show up unannounced at their door, if you don’t mind being that annoying “pop-in” person.

Don’t be available all the time.

This is my biggest issue. At my office, we use the Internet and instant messaging freely while working. Some days I get people messaging me to chat, and then they get furious when I don’t reply. It is absolutely necessary to separate work time from personal time. If you keep socializing with the outside world at work, you’re asking to be fired.

The same goes for phones. I’ve had several people over the years say, “Why don’t you ever answer your phone?” Sometimes I don’t want to. It’s a choice, and it should be respected. Also, I may or may not like you and would rather not say it to your face. Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions.

Write a list of everything you used to do before you were addicted to the Internet.

I find it difficult to imagine exactly what I used to do with my spare time, but I feel it involved a lot of reading and letter writing. If you put it all down on paper, you’ll get a good idea of just how much time you’re wasting.

Seriously, if you have a real Internet addiction, get help.

There’s actually oodles of information for people who are addicted to cyber-sex and Facebook. If you’re drawn to whipping out your genitals on live webcamera in front of an audience, you should probably heed real, professional advice.

Not convinced these ideas will work? Try a web application that will help monitor your Internet time. Ironic, no?

Community Connection

Learn how to travel unplugged, or break free from your television addiction.

Second Life is a virtual 3D world where people create custom avatars to interact with other avatars in the online community. You can explore new cities, go shopping, attend classes, and even buy property.

This means if you’ve ever dreamt about being a rich, successful entrepreneur living in a high-rise condo, you have the opportunity to do so with Second Life. Or you could sprout wings and take on the appearance of a fairy dwelling in a giant mushroom, whatever floats your boat.

The game is extremely addictive, but with spectacular, unearthly landscapes, it’s not hard to see why.

1. “Dancing Venezia” by dell_wilberg.

2. The Flower Girl by karindalziel.

3. Be an activist. “Make Slove, not Warcraft” by moggs_oceanlane.

4. Zombie Ballet by moggs_oceanlane.

5. Falling petals on the Tokyo Peninsula by Ravenelle.

6. That’s right, your Second Life characters need to do their laundry. “Shadows@Laundromat” by Ramona.Forcella.

7.Moosh Fashion Show with models and DJ. By Ravenelle.

8.A book signing event with author Julian Dibbell, whose book ”Play Money” is available in both Second Life and in the real world. By John E. Lester.

9.Your Second Life doesn’t necessarily have to take place in human form, be creative. By BlueLinden.

10.A dating world to explore when you’ve already exhausted the real one. By Yuval_Y.

11. “Tuna Oddfellow and Shava Suntzu’s wedding in Second Life.” Not sure which one is the groom and which one is the bride. By isfullofcrap.

12. “The Show Must Go On” performs for the Raglan Shire community, by Vlan Bjornson.

Community Connection

Need a vacation? Second Life might be the future of virtual travel.

Photo by Susie Burkett.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience. You’re driving along your regular route to work, window rolled down, listening to radio voices deliver morning news. And then you turn your head, and Mother Nature says, “Hey, have a great day.”

Susie Burkett, from Akron, Ohio, took this photograph.

Happy Thursday!

Community Connection

Wherever there’s love, there’s inspiration.

Chris Dunphy and Cherie Ve Ard are two “gen-x geeks” who live on the road full-time with their RV. They’re currently making their way across the USA, headed towards Tampa. In their words, they’re “living at the intersection of Epic & Awesome – traveling, living, working and playing full-time in a small solar powered RV, embracing nomadic serendipity.”

How could you not love a couple like that?

Their secret to living this way is total lack of debt. They’re not rich, but they don’t have credit cards, mortgages, rent payments, student loans, child support, or anything of the sort.

Here’s a glimpse into their tightly compacted life, complete with all the great technology and a fluffy cat.

1. Orion, the 2009 Oliver Legacy Elite Travel Trailer.

2. Chris Dunphy and Cherie Ve Ard, owners of Orion, their first day as full fledged RVers.

3. Kiki the kitty hanging out in the back of the RV, where Chris and Cherie have favored a full size bed over a four-person dinette typical of many RVs.

4. The back upper bin of the trailer is all that is needed for the couple’s tech gear. Here they stash a Mac Mini, a WiFi long-range antenna, a back-up drive, a small Canon printer, and a few other essentials…like books.

5. The kitchen view: occupying only about four cubic feet of space, the refrigerator comes complete with freezer and can store enough food for two weeks. The drawers are also deep and great for storage.

6. A larger view of Orion’s kitchen.

7. Fun photo art by Ben Willmore. The technique used here is “lightpainting.”

8. Cherie hard at work in her comfortable office.

9. No such thing as a hot bath here, only room for a shower in this tiny bathroom.

10. A rising moon at one of Technomadia’s campsites.

11. A curtain attached to the ceiling with suction cups helps separate the bed area from the living area when privacy is necessary.

12. Technomadia’s Burning Man camp where many Matador team members camped as well.

Community Connection

RV travel not for you? Check out some inspirational articles about traveling by cargo ship or motorcycle.

Photo by tanakawho

 
There’s something irresistibly satisfying about checking off an item on our to-do list. It’s the feeling of productivity, accomplishment and the knowledge you’ve freed up an afternoon to do something fun, like watch soaps in your pajamas…or get more work done.

Doing it wrong. Photo by Candice Walsh

But most of us seem to keep lists for everything, and the compulsion borders on obsession. In fact, take this conversation between Matador Life’s editor Leigh Shulman and I which exemplifies the insanity of list-makers:
 

 Leigh: I came to the realization that I need to update my to-do list and separate it into four lists for each of my main projects. If someone would pay me to update my own to-do list, I could make a full time job out of it.

 Candice: I’m the same way, lists written everywhere. My friend once told me I should write a list of reasons why I like making lists.

While browsing through a bookstore the other day, I came across a book titled Listography. The whole idea is actually based on the website, where people can sign up for “life in lists.” There’s everything from “people who have changed my life” to “websites with the best animals.” My only question is how did I not find this site earlier?

Weekend Wish List. Photo by Carina Port

Then there’s the curious question of what our lists say about us. What do we place at the top? Why do we prefer handwritten vs digital, or vice versa? Perhaps the following will enlighten.

 
The Digital List

Pros
-You’re being environmentally friendly
-Quick and easy editing
-The ability to update and keep track of your list via email, so it’s with you almost always
-Store a list on your phone, complete with reminder alerts to keep you on your toes
-The satisfaction of deleting tasks entirely
 
Cons
-They lack personal touch
-If you switch back and forth between computers, things get complicated
-You can’t express your creativity through doodling
 

New Years Resolution list of short and long term goals. Photo by Susan Forshner

The Handwritten List

Pros
-You can stick it in a backpack or purse and carry it anywhere
-If you have an affinity for stationery, fancy pens are a bonus

Photo by JoAnna Haugen

-You can keep all the lists in a journal
-Striking out a task with a flourish of the wrist is fun

Cons
-They’re easily misplaced
-Paper causes unnecessary clutter
-You’ll inevitably start a dozen different lists and start sticking them around your workspace

(And yes, I’m aware those were lists.)

Some websites even like to capitalize on our OCD behavior by offering spreadsheets and organizational tools for download, such as Productive Flourishing and Four Hour Work Week. These websites encourage being aware of your goals, setting the bar high, and getting stuff done. Productive Flourishing even offers “momentum coaching,” a process meant to generate new ideas and develop brainstorming methods. What does all this say about list-makers? We’re brilliant, obviously. Sometimes we just need a push.

Community Connection

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
 

Chatroulette allows live webcam and audio conversations with strangers, but it’s entirely anonymous (if you don’t recognize the person you’re seeing). Click “Connect” to come face-to-face with a stranger from anywhere in the world, and then hit “Next” (or press F9) to move on. You can also mute your audio or turn off your webcam to really become the ultimate creeper.

Of course, you can imagine that an anonymous webcam chatting platform allows all the weirdos to come creeping out of the woodwork. After finding the picture of the cat (shown above) and laughing hysterically about it for days, I decided I needed to track down the feline who had brought so much laughter into my life. Here are my adventures into the scary world of Chatroulette.

Round One

I needed a stiff drink to get started. Actually, I needed several. After applying extra lipgloss and feeling pretty good about myself, I invited my friend Mike to join me. Our first entertainer was a pretty blonde lady wearing nothing but red lacy lingerie. My friend swooned while she rolled around on the bed like a stripper, legs-over-head and views from behind that would make a pornstar blush. Unfortunately for Mike, the red vixen was more interested in me. I resisted, and she hit F9.

We stayed up until 7 a.m talking with people. Several times, I had to remove Mike from the camera’s view because everyone just wanted to see a girl. Our other drunken friend, Steve, eventually wandered into the room dazed and confused after passing out on the toilet for an hour as he usually does. Him and Mike stood in the background with only their torsos visible while I looked on. I’m fairly certain Chatroulette was invented for people like this, young 20-something males who can find various suggestive things to do with their index fingers poking from their jeans’ zippers, in front of strangers.

Round Two

Ok, I figured this time I would try Chatroulette solo and sober. Turns out there is never really an appropriate time to be using the program.

I was so grateful when I found these lively disco dancers blaring techno music in the background. They were a little more interested in dancing than chatting.

Most often, however, I ran into guys who asked me to remove my shirt. The depth of this conversation is overwhelming.

Stranger: hey
You: hey
You: what’s up?
Stranger: nm hbu
You: just trying this chatroulette thing. i’m glad you’re not a penis.
Stranger: lol. any boobs?
You: nope, girls keep rejecting me.
Stranger: cn i c urs
You disconnected.

I later found a guy holding a sign saying: “Show your boobs to a French guy.” His face wasn’t visible, just the sign.

You: Why is your sign in English?
Your partner disconnected.

Nearly all the males I encountered were teenagers. These young lads took a more subtle, sincere approach.

Others carried swords.

Even better, some sported fantastic beards.

Conclusion

The New York Times suggests that 90 per cent of people using Chatroulette are looking for real, genuine connections. There were supposedly 20,000 people logged on while I was online, and within the span of an hour, I had sufficiently received my daily dose of penis imagery. In fact, I probably overdosed.

The only girls I encountered immediately hit “NEXT.” It felt a little insulting at first, like rejection. But then I decided, “Hey, for once in my life I have the power to reject someone!” And then browsed through the masses like a maniacal speed-dater, grinning all the while.

Against all odds, I did encounter two charming, handsome gentlemen who had wandered over here from a CNN article. Both were absolutely shocked to be face-to-face with a woman. They were also downright disturbed.

You: what’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen on here?
Stranger: ummmm…i saw a woman, riding her excercise bike that looked like she had hooked up some kinda dildo thing to it that as she peddled, it went up and down
Stranger: no kidding
Stranger: you can’t make that up

Alas, they were much too normal for my entertainment. NEXT!

Community Connection

Because it’s virtually impossible to weed out the pornographic material and other questionable displays, many people predict Chatroulette won’t be around for long. What do you think? Want to know more? Read about the future of Chatroulette.

If you want to read more about social media’s evolution, visit our Social Media Focus Page.

Photo by Zawezome

Relate Magazine is developing an e-Book series and wants to include your stories, thoughts, advice and ideas. The first issue focuses on body image and self esteem.

They’re particularly interested in articles dealing with

For more information, check out the Relate e-Book Call For Submissions Guidelines.

Email submissions to mary@relatemag.com with the story attached in the body or attach it as a Word document. You can also choose to remain anonymous.

Deadline is February 26, 2010.

Happy writing!

Community Connection

Need inspiration? Try some travel related reading.

You’re probably skeptical. How could a household product improve our planet? Will it be used as a way to revolutionize Apple products like the iPad, making it waterproof and protected from the outside elements?

The spray hasn’t been released to the public yet, but is currently undergoing some trials. Here’s the low-down.

How It’s Used

-Food processing companies will use the glass for sterilization. The results so far are impressive: surfaces needing to be sterilized with strong bleach require only a hot water rinse once they are coated with the glass. The perfect solution for germaphobes, these surfaces remained sterile for months.

-Hotel chains and train companies are testing the product for cleaning purposes.

-It can be used for kitchens, bathrooms, floors, and just about any other surface.

-The spray can be used on headstones and cemetery monuments to offset weathering and graffiti.

- Because it’s so thin and flexible, you can even spray your clothes with it. Red wine spill? Not a problem. The glass is waterproof, so simply peel and remove.

-Spraying plants and seeds helps to prevent fungal diseases and pest infestation, due to its breathable but protective quality.

-Some research has even proven that the spray helps seeds to germinate and grow quicker, much to the delight of vineyard operators.

Photo: Jill Clardy

What This Means For the Future

Because of its multi-purpose functionality, the spray-on glass will remove virtually any need for household cleaners.

One coat will last a year, thus making it affordable and less wasteful. That means you get to throw out harmful chemicals, ditch the sickly-smelling cleaners and stop spending a ton of cash. Mr. Clean is probably rolling over in his grave right now.

Of course, this seemingly futuristic product raises all kinds of questions. What can’t it coat? Why would you want to cover your clothes in a thin layer of glass? Is this like a more glamorous type of plastic chair covering cleverly disguising someone’s severe aversion to germs?

There’s also no mention of any negative side-effects to be found. What about the long-term consequences? What happens when major cleaning supply companies are forced to close their businesses?

Community Connection

How do you predict nanotechnology to change our future?

Valentine’s Day actually goes back to ancient Rome martyrdom, and over the years, some quirky traditions have popped up. In the spirit of keeping some of those old ideas alive, here are a few side-by-side with how we do it in 2010.

Love leaping

There’s an old tradition that designates the 29th of February (Leap Year) as the only time when women should propose to men. In the 19th century, stationery companies in the US and Britain began making Valentine’s Day cards with the same idea: if a man received the card from a woman on the Valentine’s Day of a leap year, it served as a marriage proposal and he would be entitled to consider the arrangement.

While maybe a little extreme, there’s no reason for ladies not to take the lead and do something special for their partner. You could stick to the classic tried ideas, like cooking him a meal…wearing only the apron. Head out for a night on the town, just the two of you. Or you could do something totally outlandish like pour a bucket of green goo over your partner’s head and then popping the big question. Surprise!

Dinner for two

“Sorry, that’s a no.” -Photo by aubergene

According to Smithsonian, a French woman used to let her admirer know if she was interested or not by whatever she served him on Valentine’s Day: an egg dish meant “no,” an apple meant “yes.” Much better than the pepper spray and whistle tactic I tend to use.

Nowadays, try serving up some aphrodisiac food choices, like oysters loaded with progesterone-controlling zinc that apparently prevents impotency. Then there’s all the phallic-like or anatomically-suggestive fruit and veggies, such as bananas, carrots, and apparently…onions?

If you’re celebrating alone, go out to a dinner alone. Treat yourself to something delicious without having to cringe over the loud chewing noises of your partner.

Love roulette

Smithsonian offers another example from ancient Rome, about women putting their names in a box to be randomly selected by men. What the men did afterward is vague, but apparently they “paid particular attention to the young women whose name they drew.” Another account mentions how an equal number of men and women would write their names on ballots, roll them up, and draw for different partners.

In our modern age, we like to call this “swinging.” Instead of using a cute ballot system, however, we’re more inclined to start poking people on Facebook.

The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre

On February 14, 1929, two famous criminal gangs of Chicago, Al Capone’s South Side Italian gang and George Moran’s North Side Irish Gang, were involved in one of the most famous gang war murders in history. Basically, Capone tricked Moran and his men into showing up at a warehouse to buy bootlegged whiskey. A team of Capone’s men entered disguised as policemen, and gunned down six of Moran’s men (not Moran himself) plus a gang friend.

So there’s no real comparison for a modern Valentine’s Day Massacre, unless you’re single and the pink and red adornments, heart-shaped universe and unbelievably tacky television commercials feel like a physical assault. My advice? Be like the Romanians and celebrate friendship, chase a love interest around a hill until you catch them, pin them down, and give them a kiss. New friendship.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

Do you have any Valentine’s Day traditions? Found any alternative ways to celebrate, or special places to cozy up?

The news of the possible “ban” on the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary Tenth Edition spread internationally and caused some outraged feedback from parents, as many felt the dictionary was not the problem. As one parent pointed out:

“That is not the worst word in the dictionary. Kids are going to be exposed to things, and it is the parents’ job to explain it to them, not the teachers’ or the school district’s (job).”

This argument is nothing new. In some places, other banned books include: Katherine Paterson’s Bridge to Terabithia, for its display of disrespect towards adults; Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, for its use of the ‘n’ word; and even J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series for its use of witchcraft.

Those are just a few. Is it just me, or do the themes of friendship, youthful determination and overcoming oppression completely override any negative aspects of these books?

Some teens, however, do realize the importance of reading whatever the hell you want to read.

For example, take the girl who kept a lending library of banned books inside her locker. She encouraged students to borrow from the 62 banned books inside her locker, with everything from The Perks of Being a Wallflower to Animal Farm. The makeshift library provided students with a way to read these classics without the risk of getting in trouble with parents.

Give the girl a freaking medal.

In the end, students in southern California were given the option of using an alternative dictionary to the one temporarily removed, but are still able to use the old. Next assignment: an essay on the definition of “ignorance” and how to prevent it.

Community Connection

What do you think, is it justified to ban certain books? The dictionary?

Social media tools like Facebook and Twitter can be a great way to connect with awesome people while marketing your own writing, blog or business. If you do it right, you can form strong bonds with others and share your work with a wide audience.

However, if you do it wrong, you’ll alienate people and your reputation will suffer.

Are you guilty of social media douchebaggery? If you’ve done three or more of the following, the answer is “yes.”

Photo by micahb37

Discuss What You Had For Breakfast – Writing about the mundane parts of your day is an annoyance. This rule applies to constant updates on your baby, the hot shower you just had, and the colour of your poop.

Update Under the Influence – Sappy song lyrics and quotes of wisdom often find their way into someone’s Twitter feed or Facebook status update when they’re under the influence. Close the laptop and just back away.

Ignore Anyone Who Attempts Conversation – I’ll never understand why some people follow me on Twitter and then do not reply when I try to connect. Thanks jerks, glad to know I’m just a way to boost your audience.

Think You’re Internet Famous – “If you have to preface the word with ‘Internet’, you’re no celebrity.” There is nothing more obnoxious than a condescending douchebag who doesn’t want to give you the time of day because you’re a newbie and therefore not worthy of attention.

Brag About Your Fitness – If you spend five hours a day at the gym and then come home to update your status about it, you’re probably a douchebag who walks around the gym flexing your muscles more than actually working out.

Photo by Mykl Roventine

Self-Promo All the Time – You know you’re awesome, but keep it to yourself. Sharing your work with your followers is fine, just make sure you share links from other people also. It’s like having good table manners.

Be a Spammer – You’re not going to miss out on anything big if you shut down your social media programs for awhile. Let people miss you.

Share Your Heartbreak – Stop whining to the world, clean up your act, and get back out into the game. This refers to all other types of “over-sharing” as well, i.e. job woes, self-image issues, and your busy life.

Community Connection

Find out how to be a social media pro and Twitter ninja.

Photo by dingbat2005

We all know the feeling of homesickness. When we’re not at home, we’re often off discovering new places and making new friends. But home becomes such an engrained part of our lives, there are some things we can’t shake off entirely. Friends and family play a major part, but often we miss material items, or knowing everything is clean and in its rightful place.

For some of us, it’s hard to pinpoint our most favorite thing about home. Andy Jarosz, however, has discovered that most people from the western world share the same food passion and miss it while away: cheese. Expats living in Asia seem to feel particularly strong about cheese nostalgia.

Photo by Refracted Moments

Dave Bouskill and Debra Corbeil feel that our associations with home are not so much about materialism, but more of a realization that we take certain things for granted. Hot showers, comfortable beds and clean toilets are just some luxuries we expect to be available all the time.

When I moved away to attend university, I found myself craving my mother’s meals, even food I didn’t particularly enjoy while living at home. I’m sure being forced to cook for myself had something to do with it, but I longed for pea soup and dumplings, or a classic Sunday dinner. After being away for nearly seven years, I visit home and find myself missing the conveniences of my current “home.” The lines have become blurred. But always, as things change, we’ll find something missing.

Community Connection

So what familiar comforts do you appreciate the most from home? Participate in our poll, or if there’s something we missed, share in the comments!

Remember those remote-controlled helicopters? The ones that you could control with a remote, and they’d be all fun until you got distracted and steered your expensive aircraft nose-down into the sidewalk?

Enter the incredibly advanced Parrot A.R. Drone, a quadricopter which can be controlled by WiFi from an iPhone and iPod Touch (and possibly soon from Blackberry and other applications). It’s easy to fly, and uses augmented reality to fight other Drones or to play “search and rescue” and hunting games. In other words, it’s just good fun.

The Drone is equipped with two cameras to give the user a view from above, using streaming video to serve as a sort of “real life” video game. It also comes with other fancy do-dads, like two ultrasonic transmitters for stability, a two-axis gyroscope, a three-axis accelerometer, and another single-axis yaw precision gyroscope to top it all off. I’m not really sure what that all means, but damn, it sounds fancy.

To control the Drone: hit the take-off button so the Drone hovers at three feet, then use the controls to rotate left and right, climb, and then use a button to tilt and fly the quadricopter in any direction.

The Drone can even be used indoors, as it comes equipped with shields around its rotors to allow it to bump against other objects. There’s no word of a release date yet, but expect to pay anywhere from $400 or more.

Community Connection

What would you like your robot to do?

Photo by Zitona

Books are some of the few items most people don’t mind buying second-hand. There’s something charming about lifting the cover of a new paperback to find a hastily scrawled inscription on the inside, sometimes even a date.

Here are two ideas for acquiring books you’ve been meaning to read, while getting rid of the ones you never want to read again.

Book exchange websites

A few months ago, I was introduced to Bookmooch, an interactive community of book-lovers that uses a point system to trade books. The only thing you have to pay for is the shipping and handling costs. Basically, you create an inventory of all the books you want to give away, and a wish-list of all the books you would like to receive.

When someone adds a book to their inventory which is already on your wish-list, you are notified by email. The trick is to Mooch the book immediately before anyone else snatches it.

Photo by Lin Pernille’s Photography

The best thing about Bookmooch is that the point system is designed so that you can mooch more books than give away. You earn points for doing everything from adding books to your inventory to acknowledging when you’ve received a book, thus creating a lovely book cycle. You can even donate your points to charities.

Goodreads is another interactive website currently only offered in the USA. Here you can browse other people’s bookshelves, read and write reviews, and rave about literature in the very community-oriented forums.

Remember, however, that if you want to build up a good book swapping reputation, ensure your books are delivered in good condition. For bonus karma points, insert a little note with a “Happy Reading!” wish. The more good reviews you have, the more books you’ll receive.

Find a local book club

If you’re wary of exchanging your home address online with strangers, or skeptical about whether or not some people will actually follow through with the exchange, find a local book club. Generally book clubs are designed for readers to share a common book, but it’s a great way to meet other book-lovers who may lend you some material. Rounding up a diverse group of people will open the door for trying new genres or authors you may not have considered before.

If a local book club is not available, start your own. Network with friends and friends of friends to find a quiet location, bring snacks and indulge in the nerdier side of life.

Community Connection

Add more books to your reading wish-list with some amazing travel literature or spiritual reads.

The argument is split. Some business experts are encouraging car ownership, others are saying beware the market. While helping a friend research cars, however, I came across some incredible commercials — old and new — which serve as a testament to an industry which won’t quit finding innovative ways to bring the buyer.

Theo Jansen’s incredible monsters and fancy science may be attention-grabbing, but ultimately my friend decided the only way to make a good judgement was to test drive a few vehicles and visit dealerships.

It’s more important to find what works best for you. How comfortable do you feel behind the wheel? Does the vehicle have everything you need? And, of course, can you really afford it, or can you live without it?

Community Connection

Any other contributions to add to the list? Share in the comments, or learn about how you can drive a car with your iPhone.

Photo by Peter Rivera

BeautifulPeople.com, a controversial social network, has cut thousands of profiles from their website because of apparent holiday weight gain. Many people who posted photos of themselves after vacation were voted off the site by other kill-joy members who disapproved of their indulgences.

The following is a recent quote from the site founder, Robert Hintze:

“As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld.

Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”

I’m not kidding, I can’t make this stuff up.

Photo by Matt Forsythe

Just how many people were expelled? 1520 Americans, 832 Brits, and hundreds of Canadians, Polish, and Germans. I can’t decide which fact disturbs me more, the shallowness of the site’s goals or the number of people who actually have/had accounts.

Here’s something else interesting. BeautifulPeople.com also offers a Business Area where people can view business and employment opportunities…restricted to beautiful people? Are brains at all a requirement?

Somehow I can’t see how a business can succeed if its number one requirement is attractiveness, unless it’s the Playboy Mansion. That’s not to say, of course, that beautiful people can’t have brains. But if you’re trying to find a job or expand a business, some ethical issues definitely arise when advertising to a website where only the high cheek-boned, slim waisted population is allowed to apply.

However, there’s no need to fret over the recent cut of members, because BeautifulPeople.com has sent emails to all ex-members encouraging them to reapply once they get back into shape. Nothing screams motivation like having thousands of users around the world vote you off a social network for being a fattie. Perhaps those voted off can try a more logical approach, like having endless plastic surgery to resemble Barbie or Jessica Rabbit.

Ah, BeautifulPeople.com. I may never join your high ranks of shallowness, but at least I’m not the annoying wiener at the holiday dinner party turning up my nose at a slice of pizza because I’m afraid of calories. Now pass me a beer and shut up.

Community Connection

How do you feel about social networks which judge people solely on appearance? Share your thoughts, or spread some positive self-image.

Ever thought about how cool it would be to see a movie focused entirely on babies? Me neither, but someone else did.

Directed by Thomas Balmes and based on an idea by Alain Chabat, the documentary follows four babies in four different countries throughout their earliest stages of life.

The stars of the show are: Ponijao who lives near Opuwo, Namibia; Bayarjargal who lives near Bayanchandmani, Mongolia; Mari in Tokyo, Japan; and Hattie in San Francisco, USA.

Their stories are set against four extremely diverse backdrops, ranging from dusty huts to city skyscrapers, but they all have a few things in common — they’re all just setting out on their life journeys, they have loving parents, and gosh darned they’re adorable.

It’ll be interesting to see how Balmes interweaves the babies’ lives with a working story line involving dirty diapers, breast feeding and temper tantrums. But I think one of the most interesting aspects of this documentary will be looking at how we’re born into the world as fresh slates, clean and impressionable and filled with laughter.

We could all learn a thing or two from babies.

Check out the acting skills on the first two babies, they play up the camera better than Paris Hilton, wouldn’t you agree? I can nearly hear my biological clock ticking.

Photo by Don Hankins

Atlanta, Chicago, Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver are just some of the major cities that allow beekeeping. But in New York City, bees are prohibited along with crocodiles, lions, and pit vipers. In comparison to venomous snakes and giant cats, bees seem hardly a threat.

This month, New York City Council member David Yassky introduced a bill to remove the ban. The health department initially gave the green light, but the action requires a second vote in March after a public comment period.

Why do we need more bees?

People generally don’t like bees because they’re ugly and they carry a mean sting. I’m always reminded of that scene from Honey I Shrunk the Kids when the kids get stuck to that giant hairy bee because of the sticky pollen.

See? They’re misunderstood creatures.

But beekeeping is incredibly environmentally friendly and a sustainable practice. Their honey is delicious, and buying local goods means cutting back on food’s travel time and consequently environmental impact. You will also have some backyard pollinators handy, and their honey is chock full of vitamins and antioxidants.

Photo by ComputerHotline

But their most significant role is pollination: bees pollinate fruits, vegetables, trees and more. However, bee colonies are collapsing for some unknown reason, and experts are worried that food resources will become depleted. Lifting a ban like the one in NYC gives people the opportunity to help fight the problem hands-on.

So you want to be a beekeeper?

If the beekeeping ban is entirely removed, it doesn’t mean everyone should pick up the job. Sami Grover discusses some steps to prepare for being a beekeeper:

1. Read everything you can get your hands on, including Beekeeping for Dummies.

2. Check out a local beekeeping course…yes, they exist.

3. Get involved with some hives to become more comfortable around the bees. If you’re afraid of bees, they’ll sense it.

4. Check with your neighbors: the last thing you want are the angry folks next door calling you “Loony-Beekeeping-Betty.”

That’s just the beginning, the learning process is long but potentially saving the planet is worth it, don’t you think?

Community Connection

Do you want to see New York City lift the beekeeping ban? Sign this online petition.

Photo by isforinsects

We’re all guilty of taking the occasional break during our work to pull up some of those time-waster websites that bring such pleasure. In fact, the whole reason this article started was because Leigh and I were instant messaging each other to plan a schedule for the following weeks, only to be sidetracked by these glorious and shameless indulgences of Internet fun.

We apologize in advance for the amount of time you’re bound to waste while browsing through these websites, but really, they’re worth a look. You’re welcome.

1. Lamebook - Poking fun at all those wackjobs who use Facebook.

2. Stop Making That Duckface! - You know the look: lips pursed, orange-tanned skin, classic camera pose.

3. Awkward Family Photos - Complete with 80s hair and engagement photos.

Photo by wili_hybrid

4. People of Wal-Mart - Some people don’t believe in fashion.

5. Why the F*@# Do You Have a Kid? This hurts my heart.

6. Texts From Last Night - My favorite by a landslide. Are these people for real?

7. Fail Blog - The world’s stupidity on display.

8. Tasty Booze - Just some good bloggin’ fun.

9. Moe Jackson - Celebrity news and gossip.

10. Go Fug Yourself - Two hilarious girls blogging about celebrity fashion no-nos.

11. Manvite - “With the free Manvite service, men can finally send online invitations in keeping with their masculine natures – simple, straightforward and crude.”

12. I Just Made Love! - An interactive map of the world identifying where people have been getting down and dirty.

13. Awful Plastic Surgery - The title says it all.

14. Cake Wrecks - Deliciously awful cakes.

15. Reasons Why I Dumped You - From the site: “After we fell asleep after having sex for the first time, I woke up to find you cracking my knuckles.”

16. Regretsy - Handmade products gone awry.

17. Passive Aggressive Notes - From those who prefer to use the written word to give someone the finger.

18. STFU Parents - “You used to be fun. Now you have a baby.”

19. STFU Marrieds - Those annoying messages from the happily married couples who like to rub it in your single face.

20. F My Life - Short messages of misfortune.

21. Overheard in New York - Clips of crazy conversation from the city.

22 My Parents Were Awesome - How did your folks look before they were parents?

23. Super Poop - Funny photo comics by an artist named Drew.

24. Cute Overload - I dare you to browse this site without squealing.

25. Emails From Crazy People - The world is filled with all kinds of crazy, as proven here.

Community Connection

Do you have any sites to add to this list? We’d love to hear them!

Photo by Carolyn Coles

Bye-bye, 2009. Isn’t there something refreshing and relieving about seeing those numbers change on a calendar? Even if you’re in the middle of a mental meltdown, the new year promises a clean slate. A fresh start. New beginnings.

We asked some Matadorians for their 2010 resolutions. The overall theme? Dream big and aim high!

Michelle Schusterman wants to (finally) live comfortably off her writing and music in a way that gives her the freedom to travel.

Carlo Alcos is about to embark on the journey of a lifetime with his wife, and will be spending most of his time on the road. He writes:

I think we’ll be trying our best to put into practice some lessons we’ve learned from past travels, like going with the flow more and trying not to get angry at things (like overcharging). We will attempt to let things roll of our backs more and just behave in a more relaxed manner.

Photo by ahisgett

He’s also participating in a little project called No Complaints Mate, with the goal of going 21 straight days without a single complaint.

And, of course, Carlo wants to progress with his writing.

Christine Garvin would like to welcome in the new year by resolving to keep her heart open as much as possible, being more efficient in just about everything, and making more money.

JoAnna Haugen’s big plan? Learning how to speak Spanish!

Hal Amen is putting down roots and becoming a home-owner: him and his wife would like to own a house before 2011.

Mike Lynch wants to limit the focus on his writing and dedicate more time to his one and only true love, his camera.

Adam Roy will attempt to live without any fear whatsoever.

Matt Scott will spend less time reading about traveling and more time actually traveling.

Andy Hayes’ resolution is simple: travel more, pack less, travel slower, enjoy more.

Lola Akinmade has resolved to live each day with continued gratitude and contentment.

Last but not least, Daniel Nahabedian wants to improve the world by spreading a smile everywhere he goes, raising global warming in the hearts of people instead of the climate, and traveling the world as much as possible to learn from different cultures. He also hopes to become a travel blogger and to start earning a living with his photography.

But his most poignant aspiration? “Just love.”

As for me, I resolve not to make any resolutions. I’m holding onto 2009 for dear life, because it was an amazing year and I’m not sure 2010 can top it. Thank you, fellow Matadorians, for being the loving support group to my Internet life. Best wishes for 2010!

Community Connection

What is your New Year resolution?

Photo by comedy_nose

One evening, while flicking through television channels with eyes glazed and brain only partially functioning, my ears perked up when I came across an interview with Franke James.

Franke, an artist, photographer and writer whose mission is to do something green and document it, runs a blog out of Toronto using visual essays to portray her art. In the interview, she talks about how she received a random email one day from a stranger with a bold idea.

The premise

The original email is highlighted in her account of the event, a gorgeous visual essay complete with colorful graphics and photographs of the participants. The stranger turned out to be a man named Mark Shouldice who had stumbled upon her blog and was impressed with her work. He proposed to Franke that if she prepared a full meal for him and a guest, he would donate $200 to a charity of her choice.

The table is set

Naturally, Franke was skeptical. But just two hours after replying to Mark’s email, a donation had been made to the Yonge Street Mission’s Christmas dinner and a vegetarian dinner with a stranger had been arranged.

Of course, it also helped to Google his name and to pick up small pieces of information.

Photo by AMagill

The outcome

In an interview, Franke says things were not the least bit awkward between her, Mark and his guest, Hilary. Throughout the course of the evening, Franke learned about Mark’s teaching career, his art school project, and his documentary film nights, as well as Hilary’s career as a nurse and her time working in Rwanda on an AIDS/HIV project.

The whole idea got me thinking. If this project could work in such a major city like Toronto, how well would it work in other smaller cities? How amazing would it be to meet somebody new on a whim, whether you’re the donor or the host? This might be one case where talking to strangers is a fantastic idea.

As Franke says on her blog, she had started out having dinner with two strangers, but by the end of the evening, she was dining with two friends. As a result, 77 homeless people were fed from Mark’s generous donation.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

If you could dine with any stranger, who would it be? Why?

It’s incredible how a few kind words go such a long way. These creative notes left in random places show just how simple it is to make someone’s day.

Notes enroute

Photo by JoAnna Haugen

Photo by JoAnna Haugen

JoAnna combined her passion for travel with Operation Beautiful to spread the word while on the road. The first note was left on the tray tables in row 12 of Alaska Airlines flight 610 from Las Vegas to Seattle, while the second note was left on a bathroom door in Seattle’s Sea-Tac airport.

Dance to feel beautiful

Photo by Karin Norgard

Karin Norgard, a dance teacher in Alaska, shares her thoughts on the project:

I love dance because it makes people feel more confident about, expressive with, and connected to their bodies. So when I heard about Operation Beautiful, I immediately posted a note to my dance students at the health club in Anchorage, Alaska, where I teach. Its message not only builds up men and women who may feel self-conscious as they learn and start to open up, it reminds me why I love dancing and teaching my passion to others. It has also given me an extra dose of inspiration when writing articles on dance for my website, Joy in Motion. The response I get from a simple post-it note and from my articles is one and the same: people are excited about learning to love their bodies as well as their spirits.

Reaching out to all generations

Photo submitted by Ann Schroeder

Ann Schroeder of Relate Magazine, an online publication dedicated to inspiring teens to follow their dreams with confidence, wrote us to say the magazine had recently partnered with Caitlin and Operation Beautiful to reach the Relate audience. She writes: “The most memorable and surprising submissions were from the age groups which submitted. We had women from their offices submitting as well as teens submitting. It was a great feeling to see these notes start flooding in.”

The note above, posted to a co-worker’s computer screen, was submitted by a woman working in an office in St. Louis.

Dare to be humiliated

Photo by Joannaline C. Young

Joannaline, a MatadorU student, was so inspired by the Operation Beautiful project that she also wrote about it at WorldNewsVine. She posted seven post-its in seven different magazines, using Spanish to appeal to a wider audience. She writes: “I looked around me about every 2 seconds to make sure no one knew what I was doing. I pretended to take out a book from the shelf as people walked by. At every snapshot, I felt a rush of adrenaline immediately followed by a sense of triumph.” She concluded the possibility of humiliation was definitely worth it.

Starting with the kids

Photo by Debbie Oser

Debbie Oser is a “mompreneur” raising two boys, ages five and eight. Her company, Keeping it Positive, sells Positive Affirmation products. She writes: “I started the business after seeing how Positive Affirmations changed our sons’ attitude and behavior to be more self-assured and confident. I knew that I wanted to help spread this confidence to as many children and adults as I could.”

Debbie posted her note in the girls bathroom of her son’s elementary school in North Wales, PA.

Musical inspiration

Photo by JeBron

Singer/songwriter JeBron left this note in his home in Atlanta, Georgia, for a loved one to find. He says, ”When I placed this post-it, I was thinking to myself, what could I do to make a woman feel beautiful?”

Those tough decisions

Photo by Sarah Nelson

Sarah describes this note posted in Austin, Texas, as “decision making made beautiful.”

Thanks everyone, for your creative contributions!

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

How do you help reinforce positive body images? Share your comments below.

Photo by imcountingufoz

Can’t get enough of Twitter? Belgian researchers have come up with a way to get your toddlers hooked, too. Meet Twoddler, a prototype activity centre guaranteed to make your kid tech saavy.

The brilliant thing about Twoddler is that your kid doesn’t need to be a child prodigy to use it. The activity center, jazzed up with attractive playthings, sends texts to a Twitter account based on how the child interacts with it. For example, pressing a picture of Daddy will submit a tweet saying something like “Daniel loves his daddy.”

Toddlers can also communicate with other toddlers via Twoddlers by pressing certain lights or buttons. See? There’s no need to take precious time out to teach your child how to speak, it simply isn’t needed.

Other people, however, are concerned that such a gadget will make kids more “socially inept.” Watch the video, and judge for yourself.

Twoddler: Twittering Toddlers from Bart Swennen on Vimeo.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

What do you think? Brilliant new toy, or total waste of time?

Photos by schuey

If you’re like me, the horror of spending hundreds of dollars on presents, decorations, food and merrymaking is difficult to stomach when your feet are wrapped in plastic bags to protect against dampness. On the other hand, it’s an incredible time to show your appreciation to loved ones and to celebrate the finer things in life. Below are some alternative ways to spice up the season without leaving you scrounging for pennies.
  
Leave a large pot of apple cider with whole cinnamon on the stove — Your house will smell great and you have something on hand to offer guests. Leave a bottle of rum nearby for those who want the extra kick.
 
Make your own salt body scrubs to hand out as gifts — Using three parts kosher salt and one part regular sea salt (non-iodized), pour in an oil of your choice. The supermarket offers all sorts of options like grape seed, almond, olive and sunflower oil. Grape and sunflower tend to be lighter and better for sensitive, darker or oily skin. Olive and nut oils work for dry, paler skin. You can also substitute white or brown sugar for the salt.

For a fancier effect, grind up herbs like lavender and calendula or add a few drops of essential oils. Lavender is soothing, tea tree is cleansing, and bergamot offers a great smell.

Photo by Baying Hound

Adorn your tree with origami decorations – Using any type of paper, including recycled paper, you can create paper animals, birds, and other objects to hang from the tree. The craft is simple, and children will love it.
 
Buy environmentally-friendly gifts – While greener doesn’t necessarily mean cheaper, it’s still a good idea to keep ecology in mind with economy. Refer to The Ultimate Green Christmas and Holiday Guide for some gift-giving ideas, and then consider recycled wrapping paper to accompany your generosity.

Make your own gift wrapping – Get creative and have the kids express their artistic side by creating their own wrapping paper. You can let them think they’re having fun with sponge or potato stamps, paints and brown paper bags, when really they’re doing all the hard work for you.

Eat for less — Paying less doesn’t mean a low quality meal. For example, don’t get caught up in fancy packagings and brand names; the no-name brand tastes just as good as the others.

Reducing your food consumption will also help: do not prepare too many side dishes, and buy a cheaper turkey. Don’t worry, your family will still get fed. Take the time to prepare your food rather than buying expensive pre-made equivalents at the supermarket.

Purchase LED lights — Ok, so this suggestion is pricey to begin with, but is another environmentally responsible decision to make when decorating the tree or house. Also, because the lights are so energy efficient, the long-term effects are super beneficial: LED lights only use a fraction of the regular lights used during the holiday, and can save up to $50 per holiday season for a household.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

How do you cut corners for the holidays? Share your wisdom in the comments!
 

Photo by *~Dawn~*

Everyone has those holiday traditions that conjure up nostalgic memories of years gone past. Some traditions are quiet and reflective, others are just downright strange. Here are a few new ones you should try if you’re looking to shake things up a little.

Get out and enjoy the quiet morning of December 25 – For those who don’t celebrate Christmas, like Matador Life’s Jewish editor Leigh Shulman, December 25 isn’t filled with frenzy. Instead, she likes to get up before the rest of the world and take a walk, especially in New York City:

“The streets are cold, sometimes I’m lucky and there’s a new dusting of snow on the ground. Since the rest of the city will either be sleeping in or heading to their presents under the tree, the only footprints in the snow are mine. There are no cars or people around, the only sounds I hear are people in their homes, making breakfast in the kitchen. I can hear kids squealing as they open their gifts. Sometimes you can smell burnt sugar and coffee wafting from the windows as you walk by.”

Get creative with your tree – Sick of the garland, tinsel, gaudy ornaments and flashy stars? How about a lobster trap tree, or a giant Pac Man ensemble?

Mummering, or Jannying – This is without a doubt one of the most absurd holiday traditions from my Canadian province, Newfoundland.

Mummering entails a group of individuals going door to door in a community, dressed in absurd disguises of pillowcases over heads, mitts on feet, bras on the outside of clothes, and anything else that will render a person indistinguishable.

At each home, the hosts guess the identities behind the masks, and a party breaks out with whiskey and fiddle music. For a better idea of this monumental ocassion, check out Simani’s music video.

Photo by NealeA

Order Chinese food – Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, combining two cultures reflects the harmonious spirit of the holidays. Swap the turkey and cranberry sauce with chow mein and sweet and sour chicken.

Attend a Midnight Mass – I’m not a religious person, but attending midnight mass at my town’s Catholic church with my grandmother was something I looked forward to every year. It’s hard to not feel moved among family and friends as you’re standing inside your town’s most prominent structure, surrounded by hundreds of lit candles, with the choir raising the hair on the back of your neck.

Picnic and swimming – If you live where it never snows, make like the Australians and head to the beach. Pack a picnic basket loaded with a fancy dinner, and enjoy a meal in the sand without having to worry about the conditions of the roads or if the driveway needs to be shovelled.

Mari Lwyd, the “gray mare” – This pagan midwinter custom hails from the Wales and is kind of like carolling, except with a horse’s skull and a person dressed up in costume. The horse skull and entourage go to houses or pubs, singing introductory verses outside the front door, and then engaging in challenges and rhyming insults with the household/pub until someone finally backs down.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Do you or your family have any strange and unusual holiday traditions? Share them below!

Photo by rick.

One Poll recently surveyed 4,000 Brits to determine their most preferred scents. Among the top 20 are freshly baked bread, vanilla, fish and chips, bacon frying, a freshly lit match, Petrol, and rubber tires.

Much of our smell preferences may have to do with our earliest impressions, whether they’re good or bad. According to ScienceDaily, we associate certain memories with certain smells, provoking feelings of nostalgia and comfort.

Of course, since we are all individuals, our past experiences help shape how we remember certain events. Happy childhood memories, for example, are associated with pleasant smells.

However, this list varies for the sexes. For men, new-baby smell ranks at number 18, while frying bacon sits at seventh and Petrol is at 12th. Yes, the mouth-watering, sultry smell of pig frying in a pan is more alluring than that adorable, indescribable scent you draw in from the top of a baby’s head.

Photo by misteraitch

So what does this mean for men? Are fathers less likely to become attached to their child than mothers? Should men more actively pursue forming a bond with baby?

Men, here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Give a midnight bottle – Be there as soon as baby awakes, taking a heroic stance over the cradle with bottle in hand.

2. Change diapers – That’s one smell that should inspire some strong scent memory.

3. Be there for a cold or fever – Claim the role of fierce protector.

4. Take a bath together – Few things are more fun than bath playtime for two, plus rubber ducky.

5. Be a texture board – Let your baby tug your beard, poke your eyeballs or stick a finger in your nose. There’s lots of terrain to cover.

My solution? A baby powder scented with the flavour of bacon. Just keep your baby out of the sun.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Want more fun? Make your life incredible and amazing with bacon, or share your most treasured scents with us in the comments below.

Photo by Artotem. Feature by Navicore.

Never mind where you are in the world, the Geminids are worth wandering outside to seek out the perfect star-gazing location. The shower began on December 6, 2009, and will peak on the nights of December 13 and 14, with 120-160 meteors per hour.

The Geminids are the pieces of debris from 3200 Phaethon, an extinct comet which was originally thought to be an asteroid. According to NASA, the Geminids began appearing in the late 19th century, but were not spectacular and did not garner much attention. However, they have intensified over the past few decades, and researchers are eager to see this year’s outcome.

For optimum viewing, watch the skies late Sunday night to early Monday morning. A brilliant shower might be the perfect way to kick off the holidays with some loved ones.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

Looking for the ultimate place to stretch out on your back and observe the sky? Check out the World’s Best Stargazing Destinations.

Photo by *D a r i n k a*

Three years ago, I worked as an intern in my town’s public library. I spent many mornings there typing up educational programs at the head librarian’s computer, surrounded by just bookcases. The job was a lonely one because the library hours were sparse. One day, a man walked into the library and handed me a cup of cappuccino.

“Just thought you’d enjoy something warm,” he said with a smile, and disappeared through the door.

That one extremely simple act has stuck with me over the past few years as being one of the most genuine expressions of kindness.

So why not do something nice for a person at random? If you need advice on how to make someone happy, the following are some favourite ideas from Thank Goodness It’s Monday, including contributions from the comments.

1. Smile at a stranger
2. Put a quarter in someone’s expired meter
3. Pay for the person behind you at the drive-thru
4. Buy flowers at your grocery store and give them to the cashier on the way out
5. Call your parents to apologize for when you were a brat (especially if you have kids)
6. Recreate one of your first dates with your significant other
7. Put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror for your significant other, just to say I love you
8. For kids, eat ice cream for dinner
9. Smile as you’re holding the door open for themselves
10. Tell your boss that they’re doing a good job

Photo by iLoveButter

11. Tell your boss your co-worker is doing a good job
12. At the office, brew a fresh pot of coffee
13. Give flowers to the receptionist
14. Take a friend out for supper for no reason
15. Let the other driver take the parking spot you’re competing for
16. Give your friend chocolates, for no reason
17. Let your child pick what’s for dinner, and have them help you prepare it
18. Write a letter to a teacher who has influenced you
19. Buy someone a present, but don’t tell them who it’s from
20. Mow your neighbour’s lawn or shovel their driveway in the winter
21. Tell somebody in customer service that they’re doing a great job
22. Carry someone elses groceries to their car
23. Leave goodies in your mailbox for the mailman
24. Buy lunch for a homeless personally
25. Teach your kid the Chicken Dance

Community Connection

Feel like being generous? Share how you’ve made someone’s day. Also, check out the Passports With a Cause project, or consider giving some real meaningful gifts this holiday season.

Photo by Jennie Faber

People fail to realize the importance of getting a good night’s rest. I say this as I down my third cup of coffee for the day, having slept just six hours last night. Usually I can brush it off and still get the day’s deeds done, but there are little, often unnoticeable side-effects. Wavering concentration, lack of memory, and being irritable are just a few.

Then there’s the larger, more long-term effects, like compromising one’s health to get more hours out of a day. Our nervous systems are also affected, which hinders a body’s ability to carry out demands. As a consequence, reaction times are often delayed. According to this BBC reaction test, I’m merely an ambling armadillo rather than a turbo-charged cheetah. The truth hurts.

Offbeat Solutions

If you have sleep issues, I’m sure you’ve heard all the usual methods. Stop eating before bed. No caffeine or alcohol throughout the day. No having any fun whatsoever.

Here are some unconventional methods for improving your sleep habits.

1. Get up and go – Stop making excuses, jump out of bed as soon as you’re awake. Place your alarm clock on the other side of the room so you’ll have to get out of bed to reach it.

2. Practice waking up — Before you settle down for the night, climb into bed and pretend to be asleep. Next, jump out of bed excited and eager to start the day! Eventually your brain will stop being such a lazy bones and realize your body is in charge.

Photo by Muffet

3. Toss and turn slowly — Tossing and turning is an impulse effect that can be stopped by forcing yourself to stay still for 15 second intervals. If you are truly uncomfortable and must turn over, do it very slowly. Your body will automatically relax.

4. Keep a sleep journal — Record what time you go to bed, key events that happened throughout the day, dreams, the time if you awake during the night, and how you feel in the morning. When you’ve recorded enough information over a period of weeks, you can look back and determine what factors and events caused you to be sleepless, and then make a plan to deal with these problems.

5. Practice some bedtime yoga and meditation — The rhythm control of your breathing streghtens the nervous system if practiced on a regular basis. Within a few months, your sleep becomes deeper and more relaxed. This practice also helps when dealing with jet lag or travel stress.

The Big No-No

No matter what methods you try, do not turn to sleeping pills or other drugs. Your body will learn to rely on medication to fall asleep. Unless you have a serious sleep condition like Restless Leg Syndrome or Narcolepsy, there are other safer solutions to try.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

How do you wind down after a long day? Share your sleep solutions.

Photo by Yatmandu.

Kids have a lot to live up to these days. Gregory Smith, born in 1990, has already won a Nobel Peace Award for his peacekeeping endeavours. Then there’s Akrit Jaswal who performed surgery for the first time at age seven. While most kids are riding around on bicycles and crying over skinned knees, prodigy children are seeking the cure for cancer.

But when did we decide that giving up a childhood is worth the status of being a genius? Irrefutably, children should be educated and encouraged to pursue their interests, and prodigy children require different types of stimulation than other children. But at some point, kids are sacrificing their happiest, most carefree years to ensure a successful future of stressful, occupied years.

The Consequences of Child Success

In The Downside of Being a Prodigy Child, Andrea Sachs points out the ever-increasing pressure on parents to mould their children into outstanding citizens, often causing a sort of “my-child-is-smarter-than-yours” competition among families. In return, these kids develop low-esteem and anxiety issues as they struggle to keep up with their parents’ expectations.

From prenatal education systems like BabyPlus to ridiculous online offers to turn your kid into a genius, there’s as much pressure on children to be achievers as there is for women to be thin.

Photo by Pink Sherbet

How do these children have time to build friendships and develop social skills to accompany their educational endeavours? Where is the value in earning awards and recognition without having anyone there to cheer them on?

Volunteering as a Girl Guider, I’m currently responsible for a group of 15 year old Rangers. These girls – all extremely bright, colorful, mature girls – are so buried in their responsibilities, they barely have time for fun. One girl, for example, has 11 extra-curricular activities, in addition to being on the honour roll and coming home to evenings filled with homework. When I reflect on my own high school experience, I remember slumber parties with my friends and summer days spent poolside, not the part where I poured over math homework every evening. The same people I shared these experiences with are my stable network today.

Kids Need to be Kids

Parents, it is okay to encourage and even push your children in the direction of success by nurturing their talents and abilities. In doing so, you will create an incredibly open-minded, intelligent generation. But let your kids be kids. Allow them to look back on their childhoods and reflect fondly on hide-and-seek, finger-painting and grass-stained jeans. Everyone deserves their childhood.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Do you think there is too much pressure on children to succeed? Share your comments.

Photo by Alan Vernon.

The original Thanksgiving feast occurred in 1621 and was shared between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. The Natives had taught the Pilgrims everything they knew about crop cultivation and hunting wild game, and so the affair was a peaceful gathering to express gratitude.

Nowadays, most of us choose to ignore the severe colonialization that followed: the loss of Native American traditions, the violence, and the seizure of Native land. The Natives were pushed further west and their populations almost entirely destroyed.

So when you’re giving thanks today, reflect on the holiday’s beginnings, and think about where we would be in the history of the world right now had things developed differently.

Native American Influences

We can’t claim ownership for many of our popular traditions; according to HowStuffWorks, the following were ideas developed from the Native Americans.

Turkey – In the New World, wild turkey ran rampant and was sufficient for feeding the entire population. The turkey was used at the first feast with Plymouth Colony Governor William Bradford.

Photo by Jesse757

Side dishes – Even the corn and cranberries were present at the first Thanksgiving. Native Americans taught the Pilgrims how to make a bitter sauce which they called “ibimi” (cranberry sauce). However, the Pilgrims renamed the berry as “cranberry” because its flowers reminded them of cranes (the birds).

Football – During ancient harvest ceremonies, people celebrated by playing games and sports, much like how football is played during Thanksgiving.

Native American Celebrations Today

Unsuprisingly, many Native Americans honour Thanksgiving differently.

While most Americans are celebrating Thanksgiving, some Native Americans in Massachusetts will be paying tribute to the “National Day of Mourning” atop Coles Hill. The Wampanoags and other Natives decided to fast for the occasion, thereby remembering their history by showing a contrast to the tradition of gorging on food. In recent years, the event has grown to accompany presentations, skits and demonstrations to showcase this contrast.

Other special days were also marked to honour Native Americans. New York became the first state to establish American Indian Day, and in California, the fourth Friday of September is Native American Day. Most recently, President Obama has declared November 2009 as Native American Heritage Month, marking November 27 as Native American Heritage Day.

Others look at Thanksgiving with a unique perspective. In A Native American View, Jacqueline Keeler admits she celebrates Thanksgiving. To her, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for being a part of the small group of survivors from that age. As long as there is remembrance and reflection, the Native American role cannot be forgotten.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

People all over celebrate Thanksgiving in their own special way, whether it’s quality time with family or friends, or something else entirely. What are your traditions?

Photo by Foxtongue.

I didn’t realize I was being threatened until my coworker approached me at my desk, rolled out my office chair, and delivered a kick to my shin. She then announced to the entire office that it was Kick a Ginger Day, and I spent the remainder of my afternoon periodically darting glances over my shoulder.

(To be fair, the kick from my coworker was more like a foot nudge, and all my other coworkers are male and didn’t want to be accused of beating a woman.)

This phenomenon started with the famous South Park episode, and then exploded into a national event which inspired the Facebook group “Kick a Ginger Day” (no longer in existence, apparently) with nearly 5,000 members. For some reason, kids took this idea a little too far.

In an effort to avoid violence, some mothers even made their children stay home from school on Friday. Other kids were prepared to fight back.

The teen who created the Facebook group was actually investigated by the RCMP in British Columbia for promoting hate and violence. Some kids even ended up with bruises. I’ll be the first to admit Gingers are often unattractive — take Carrot Top, for example — but certainly nobody deserves a drive-by egging from morons yelling “Gingers suck!”

Photo by fotologic

The Ginger Solution

Is this whole thing a gross exaggeration? Maybe, but I still recall the time from childhood when I overheard the public health nurse whisper to another woman: “I hate seeing kids with red hair, it seems so cruel.” Never mind the fact I haven’t had my tonsils removed because a doctor once told me redheads tend to bleed heavily during surgeries, thus setting me on a path of total terror when stepping foot into hospitals.

Fortunately, there are some kind, open-minded souls willing to take action to defend the Ginger nation. Kick a Ginger Day has appropriately been replaced with Hug a Ginger Day, promoting love and peace and happy squeezes all around the world. So next time you see a Ginger pass by, don’t shudder or gasp in horror at our translucent skin and freckled complexions. Reach out, my friends. Embrace.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Ginger Matadorians: how have you overcome Ginger discrimination?

Photos courtesy of Operation Beautiful.

  
Already a strong advocate for ending the negative buzz about obesity, or “Fat Talk,” Caitlin was inspired by Gives Me Hope – a site where users can share stories of random acts of kindness – to embark on her own mission to change the world’s perception of beauty. Operation Beautiful was born.
 
The rules are simple: 1) write something motivational on a piece of paper, stick it in a public place (like a bathroom mirror), and 2) include the website address to share the love.

Sceptical that such a simple act of kindness can positively affect someone? The following are just two examples of the many comments from the mission page:
 

I went into the bathroom today and saw a stick note: “You are beautiful the way you are. operationbeautiful.com.” I smiled and pulled out a camera. Later, I heard some girls in class describe it as “cute” and one went and pulled it down to keep. It was very encouraging.

im only a kid BUT I LOVE THIS IDEA! i want to do it at school and everywhere! (i’m 12) YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!

Chatting with Caitlin via email, I asked whether she was surprised about the success of her project and the willingness of people to participate. Here’s what she said:
 

“Operation Beautiful started on a whim.  I was having a bad day, and I wanted to do something nice for someone else, and I know that random acts of kindness make me feel good!  I wrote the words “You are beautiful” on a piece of paper, stuck it to a mirror, took a picture, and asked the readers of my personal blog to participate.  At the time, I never knew how huge Operation Beautiful would become, but in hindsight, I am not surprised.”

Submission Guidelines:

Readers, get out there and start reversing negative body images and attitudes. Write something motivational on a piece of paper, include the web address operationbeautiful.com, and stick it in a place where someone else is sure to find it, like a co-worker’s desk or inside a gym locker.

Bonus points for Creativity!

Then take a photograph of your creation and attach it in an email to candice@matadornetwork.com or leigh@matadornetwork.com with the subject line “Operation Beautiful.”

We’ll select our favorites to share on Matador Life.

Be sure to include: information about where you left your post it (ie city, town, country, specific location). Optional to include: any stories you’d like to share about why you chose to post where you did or any reactions to it. You can remain anonymous but if you’d like to include your personal blog or webpage, let us know..

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Urban homesteaders can grow their own food and stockpile it for the winter, raise chickens, and yield rainwater for household purposes. Some families even practice making homemade crafts, like soapmaking, and use solar energy to power their greenhouses.

While there are some obvious restrictions, like climate and lack of space, nearly any family can create a home-based economy.

Urban Homesteaders Are Nice People

Community connections are an important part of this lifestyle: one of the rules of being an urban homesteader is being a good neighbour. The Dervaes family from Pasadena, California, suggest in their 10 Elements of Urban Homesteading to always lend a hand for free. Additionally, events focusing on jam making, wine production and other home-based activities attract people of like-minds from all over.

Photo by david owen

Urban homesteaders are also always willing to share their knowledge. Dozens of blogs like the Urban Homesteader offer a wide variety of resources for being self-sufficient, including recipes and crop cultivation tips. Cool off with homemade naturally sweet tea? Don’t mind if I do.

No lie, converting your modern home to an urban homestead is a tough move — one that requires patience and time — but the long-term benefits of living green are outstanding. Organic foods are easy on the body and easy on the planet. Using bio-fuels, taking public transportation, and growing your own crops are huge money-savers.

Plus the workload encourages the whole family to participate, so drag the kids off the couch and have them tend the chicken coops.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

Have you created a urban homestead? Share your experiences in the comments.

On the beach at St Alban’s / Photo by Candice Walsh

Long Path Road is dead.

Dad and I sit on the front deck of our sandy bungalow, 11 p.m., him smoking and me trying to adjust to darkness without streetlights.

“Why on earth would anyone build a cabin when you already live in the middle of nowhere?” he says, taking a haul on his cigarette.

I didn’t know Dad had a sense of humor until two years ago, when my relatives and I gathered in my Uncle’s shed, eating homemade beef-jerky, listening to fiddle music, and drinking Black Horse ale.

Boiling Tea / Photo by Candice Walsh

Dad picked up an old rope tied to a snowmobile and started using it as a skipping rope. Later, when my Aunts and I squatted in the grass to relieve ourselves, I looked up at the glittery darkness and wondered when I had been created equal to my family.

“Don’t let that dog lick your arse!” my Aunts screeched as I toppled over.

But there are no age boundaries, no social constructs here. Among these hills and inside the bay, you’re forced to create bonds. I ride my bike around town and people holler, “HELLO, CANDICE!” I completely forget who they are.

The town is overgrown with alders. My path to the old Catholic school has disappeared. My friends and I used to chug beers on that path before we all graduated high school and moved away.

This year, 28 new homes have been built, and plans are set for a multimillion-dollar government building. The marsh across from our house is being drained to facilitate a new road, and a cul-de-sac for more houses. Who in their right minds would build a house here, six hours from the nearest city, a million years away from good healthcare? Travelling halfway across Canada is more bearable than a trip home.

The next evening I run into an old classmate, Kyle. Not yet graduated from University, he and his brother have bought a modern two-storey house among the trees for less than $40,000. They have invested in a tourism business, taking wanderers around the bay for overnight camping trips, windsurfing lessons, and explorations of the many untouched beaches and coves. Around the wind-beaten, freezing coast of southern Newfoundland, Kyle has perfected surfing.

Surprisingly, the pub is filled with people in their twenties and early thirties. A cluster of older people stare at me as I approach the bar for a drink. “Judging by your red hair, you must be a Walsh,” says one man, leaning forward, and his hands gripping his beer.

One can only remain without an identity for so long.

When I awake on my last day in St. Alban’s, I spy Dad’s rucksack sitting by the front door. He’s in the kitchen brewing tea, and he plants a bottle of homemade bakeapple jam on the table for me. The room smells like evergreen trees and wood smoke, and I’m reminded of the time we spent the afternoon hiking through Dad’s trail, pausing to boil tea over a fire in the snow. The best tea I ever had.

Suddenly the city is deader than this town.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION: Want to realize your dream of becoming a successful travel writer? Check out Matador U to learn more about Matador’s own online travel writing program.