Photo by Sam_Butler

Brendan Behan once remarked that, “All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.” Maybe at one time that was true, but in our LinkedIn, twitter-happy, Facebook flauntin’ world, that’s just not the case anymore. I’m sure Mel Gibson and a certain bunch of “real housewives” in New Jersey would agree.

I’ve spent more than 15 years working in public relations, with clients ranging from alternative medicine practitioners to mainstream movie studios. Although the products are very different, the practice of promoting them is similar: find your audience, tell them about your product, hope for good reviews, and do some damage control when the reviews are not so great.

These same skills can be applied to promoting yourself in everyday life, to help you get a job, a date or a promotion.

Presenting yourself in the best possible light is a key skill that everyone should use to their advantage. Here are 10 ways to put PR skills to work for you.

1. Create your own press kit

Blogs, resumes (traditional and online), and social networking sites are all part of your personal press kit, and create a distinct impression of “who you are”. This is particularly important for freelancers, who are constantly trying to get work. Plus the ability to reach out to hundreds of people with a single tweet or Facebook post is a vast improvement over making calls to inquire about work.

When creating your press kit, double check your spelling and grammar and make sure your blog or website is easy to navigate and looks well organized. Websites like Fast Pitch, HARO, LinkedIn, Xing, and PRWeb can all be helpful for making contacts and promoting yourself amongst peers and potential employers.

Photo by Sympra

2. A good reputation is priceless

Google yourself regularly. The Internet is a big place with a long memory, and you may be surprised by what you find.

Potential employers or dates are likely to do it, so be prepared and do damage control ahead of time. You may not always be able to remove what’s online, but forewarned is forearmed.

If you regularly promote yourself online, it’s important to know what people are saying about you or your business. Even just one negative post from a customer can change how you are perceived.

One of my clients, a small B&B, fell victim to an unhappy traveler on Trip Advisor. Although they had excellent ratings, the disgruntled guest wrote an unflattering comment about her stay. The owners of the B&B were unable to remove or edit the post, but they were aware of it and could respond accordingly.

3. Use protection against social diseases

Millions of people have a Facebook profile and twitter account. Social networking sites are great for connecting with people, but if you use yours for professional purposes it’s best to keep them squeaky clean.

It’s probably best to keep your Facebook photos private so they can’t be seen if others tag you. Also consider creating a fan page or a separate blog for your business or freelance work, to help keep your professional and personal lives separate.

Photo by Yoppy

4. Learn to pitch properly

In the PR world, this involves talking about what you have to offer and why someone would want it.

Knowing all the little details about your client or product – and portraying it in the best possible light – is one of the main parts of the PR hack’s job.

Always promote your best qualities, and downplay your flaws or make them work for you.

5. Don’t be a deer in the headlights

The ability to respond to questions quickly and succinctly is an important life skill. Um’ing and er’ing through an answer doesn’t make you look like the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Avoid becoming tongue tied by listening carefully and staying focused on the conversation. If you’re daydreaming about your upcoming weekend at the beach, you’re probably going to miss something.

Also, knowing your facts well helps you feel more confident. Before you have a meeting, for example, review your notes on the project you’re working on and check on the status of all its components.

It can be tough to stop smoking. As well as a positive and focused intent, many people need a little help from outside sources. Nicotine replacement therapy is popular, as are books such as Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. But there are also lots of other natural methods you can use to ease your addiction. Here are a few of them.

Acupuncture

Acupuncture can help alleviate many symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, such as the jitters, restlessness and irritability. Needles are used to stimulate energy meridians in the body that lead to the heart and respiratory system, as well as to parts of the brain responsible for cravings.

You undergo an initial evaluation with a therapist to determine your unique smoking habits – when you smoke, how often you smoke, and what triggers your desire to smoke. The therapist will then put together a treatment plan for you, which may involve behavioral management training as well as the acupuncture itself.

Photo by ~ggvic~

Therapists normally recommend four to five treatments to get the full effect, and at $40 to $100 per session, acupuncture is one of the more costly natural methods. But they will also show you how to self-treat with acupressure for when cravings arise.

Herbal Medicines, Homeopathy and Flower Essences

Some herbal medicines have properties which can help alleviate physical and emotional distress. Many can be ingested as pills, in teas or in tinctures, and you can buy pre-packaged homeopathic kits which often use a combination of herbs and plants. These are some you could try:

Chamomile, lavender, skullcap, or kava – All combat stress and anxiety.

St John’s Wort – Helps battle chemical addiction by boosting dopamine and norepinephrine levels in your brain, both of which are produced when you smoke.

Lobelia – Potent muscle relaxant that binds to nicotine receptors in your brain, tricking your body into thinking you’ve smoked. Caution: highly toxic if taken at the wrong dose, so make sure you know what you are doing.

Bach Flower Essences – It’s controversial as to whether they really work, but some practitioners claim they help treat psychological and emotional issues. Honeysuckle and Star of Bethlehem are said to be good for smokers trying to kick the habit.

Photo by Smoob

Aromatherapy – combine essential oils such as chamomile, lavender and sandalwood in a carrier oil like jojoba to make an anti-stress massage oil.

Or carry a bottle of lavender oil around with you and take a sniff to reduce the anxiety brought on by nicotine withdrawal. (Note that most essential oils should not be sniffed directly.)

Remember to research each plant you are thinking of using, and follow all directions on the labels. If taken improperly, herbal medicines can be dangerous.

Hypnotherapy

The mental health community claims hypnotherapy can be a powerful way to release negative thought patterns, get to the bottom of emotional triggers, and explore repressed areas of our consciousness.

Hypnotherapy works through a combination of guided meditation, visualization, relaxing music and deep breathing, which lull you into a trance state. Once there, the therapist will make suggestions and affirmations that deeply resonate in your subconscious.

In the case of smoking, the therapist will remind you of all the benefits of quitting (rather than what you’ll be missing out on), such as asking you to envision how much more freely you will breathe without cigarettes. This helps you associate that positive feeling with quitting smoking.

Creative Visualization

Practice a version of self-hypnosis by inducing a relaxed state on your own. Use a combination of whichever relaxation techniques work best for you. Then try to visualize yourself as a non-smoker in any situation you choose.

Photo by creativedc

Use your intuition, and don’t think of it as a hypothetical situation. Hypnosis works by taking you to that state now, not at some future date. Try to imagine the colors, smells, emotions and other sensations you will experience as a non-smoker. Use positive affirmations and keep them in a journal.

Detoxifying

Flushing the nicotine out of your system can help ease your physical addiction. Buy detoxifying roots, plants and herbs – like dandelion root, mullein, and rosemary – at your local natural foods store. Also stock up on Vitamins C and B-Complex, and drink plenty of water.

You can complement this with activities such as yoga and pranayama (breathwork). Visualize a white ball of light filling your body as you breathe in, then breathe out and visualize everything negative and toxic – in whatever form it arises – leaving your body.

The Quit Smoking Combo

Rather than relying on just one of the above techniques, try combining two or more of them to give you more chance of success. Homeopathy, acupuncture or creative visualization alone may not do the trick, but a combination of all three together could work provided you are in the right frame of mind.

Good luck!

Community Connection

Have you tried to quit smoking (or any addiction) by natural methods? Were you successful? Share your stories in the comments below!

Some people are really good at payback. Consider Regretsy, the website run by April Winchill which displays and mocks all the terrible crap being sold on Etsy. Winchill nails the public humiliation revenge, with humor and harsh words when it comes to creations like the Eco Friendly Mountain Girl Barefoot Sandals and the Lion Tamer Jungle Bra.

Maybe you’re not the most creative person when it comes to mapping out a revenge plan, or maybe you’re more passive aggressive than Winchill. True, it’s hard to be original in a world hell bent on flaming bags of dog poop.

Or you could try my neighbor’s approach to getting even with me and my roommates for throwing a keg party. For them, pooping on our front stoop was the answer. Just a few nights ago, our house got egged. Some people can’t let go.

Photo by gingerpig2000

The world is filled with bitter people stung by the jerks of their past. The following sites make it easy: all you need is some extra cash and a real black soul.

Boxed Revenge

This site sends unusual boxed gifts to people who deserve ill treatment, like a double-fisted-drinking-party-animal wife, or a lazy, beer swilling, good-for-nothing husband.

Some of their products include:

Chocolate flavored laxatives – Despite the telltale packaging, this is a real sweet revenge.

Animal skulls – No fear, the disclaimer notes: “These are road kill or died naturally and found in the wild.”

Roadkill – If you have a spare $50 hanging around.

Horse crap and cow manure – Also available in super-size portions for $30 or more.

Dead flowers and dead bugs – For the emo kid in all of us.

An empty box – To represent the emptiness of the relationship. Poetic.

A stocking filled with coal at Christmas – The perfect holiday revenge!

Crab Revenge

The ultimate revenge (and my personal favorite), this website’s slogan is “Make That Bitch Itch.” Yep, this site sends live crabs to your enemy, where they will take up residence in somebody’s pubes.

Their packages include:

Photo by euthman

Green Package – The standard package, with just enough itch to do the job.

Blue Package – Three times the itch of the green package.

Red Package – The mother of all packages, this high end package is also known as the “F Strain.” This package is so effective, not even Permethrin will get rid of the itch.

The site assures that it’s legit, but apparently legal issues have prevented the owners from divulging too many details about the business. I’m dying to know who farms the crabs in the first place?

Community Connection

Do you think revenge is petty? How would you plot your payback? Share your evil details with us below!

Photo by NatalieMaynor

So you’re thinking of joining a CSA?

Or maybe you’re just scratching your head right now, wondering: “A CSA? What’s that?” The answer, community-supported agriculture, is an arrangement in which customers pay up front for a share in a local farmer’s harvest, which is then distributed over the growing season.

The farms are generally smaller ones, often using organic or sustainable growing practices. Personally, because they’re a motivating factor in my cooking, I can’t get enough of CSAs and belong to–count ‘em–five: veggies, fruits, eggs, frozen produce in winter, and a “quarter hog” share.

How it works

The farmer sends whatever is ready and ripe, perhaps picked that morning, so you have little to no control over what you get (though a few CSAs now work on more of a “market” model). A meat share includes a variety of cuts, sometimes with specialty items such as charcuterie. Some areas even offer seafood shares.

Some CSAs deliver a box to your door, while others use a central pick-up point; ours drops at a neighborhood church and displays the produce to be collected via an honor system. The simplest, most direct arrangement might be if you live in a rural area and fetch your share from the farm. The farmer organizes the details, whereas in urban programs a volunteer team usually handles logistics and distribution.

What are the benefits?

Photo by Darius

You support local farmers by investing in a portion of the crop in advance and guaranteeing them a customer base.

In return, you receive a basket of sparkling produce, fresher than what’s offered in most stores. You probably end up eating more veggies, too. The connection between farmer and consumer becomes closer, and you get to know the person growing your food. This is a great lesson if you have kids.

We receive a regular newsletter from our farmers, including recipe suggestions and invitations to visit the farms. At the season’s end, members may be encouraged to provide feedback: helping to shape, over the long term, what will be grown.

And there’s the matter of savings: by essentially buying in bulk, you save over buying comparable quality produce at the farmers’ market.

What do I have to lose?

The lack of choice may be a deal-breaker if you like your options (or, say, detest zucchini). And, since you reap the harvest along with the farmer, you also assume the risks. Last summer, for example, our region was hit with late blight, which all but wiped out tomato crops in the northeast. As a result, the usual plump, sweet tomatoes were no-shows. Loyal customers who had pre-paid for an extra “pantry share” of tomatoes opted to forfeit the money in solidarity with the farmer, instead of getting reimbursed.

How do I find my local CSA?

Many urban areas these days have food advocacy networks. In NYC it’s Just Food, which organizes neighborhood CSAs and links to local food happenings. The nationwide network Local Harvest allows you to search by zip code for farms across the U.S. offering shares, and includes farm profiles. If you’re in a rural area, try asking at your favorite local farmer’s market booth, either at the farm or at the neighborhood farmers’ market. More and more small farms offer a CSA in addition to selling produce through a stand.

Curious, but on the fence?

Arrange a trial by finding someone who is already in the network and offering to buy back a week’s worth of produce while he or she is on vacation. If you don’t know anyone with a share, contact the coordinator and ask if it would be OK to put the word out to CSA members: many of them, over the course of the season, will at some point be unable to use their shares and would be grateful for someone else to pick up the slack.

Photo by nedrichards

You can also send out a message mid-season offering to split a share, which might be a welcome prospect to someone who has discovered it’s not so easy to keep up with the rising tide of veggies in August!

They’re sold out!

This is a common complaint in urban communities like mine in Brooklyn, NY. People are keen on the whole idea of eating seasonally and locally, but supply hasn’t yet caught up with demand. Be tenacious and stay in contact with the CSA coordinator. Persistence pays off, as it did this year for two of my friends who had been trying to get in on the action for years.

Also, you may score a share from a CSA dropout, as did a friend of mine who is now a die-hard fan (she received word of mouth that someone was trying to unload her share).

I signed up! Now what?

Now get cooking! It took me a couple of seasons to hit my CSA stride; now I know what to expect and detail my kitchen time in a seasonal cooking blog. In planning my recipes, I do a triage of each weekly delivery: what needs to be used right away (lettuce)? What can be stored (roots), or dried (herbs)? Try your hand at pickling and canning, to preserve the overflow.

The internet contains a wealth of ideas. Some sites with impressive catalogs of recipes include: Epicurious, food52, Cook’s Country and the Food Network, all of which offer ingredient-based searches.

Some cookbooks I find useful:

• Mark Bittman, How to Cook Everything and How to Cook Everything Vegetarian
• Eugenia Bone, Well-Preserved
• Elizabeth Schneider, Vegetables From Amaranth to Zucchini
• Alice Waters, Chez Panisse Fruit and Chez Panisse Vegetables

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Are you a member of a local CSA? Please share your experiences in the comments below. Feel free to share links to your favorite recipe websites too!

Photo by mr. toaster

You might assume that as Matador’s social media ninja, whenever the topic of social networking comes up, my view is all puppies and rainbows. Most pundits tout all of the benefits of social media, but I do think that as this new media platform evolves and slowly moves mainstream (remember when your grandparents finally got email?), there will be good and bad. Consider:

If you’re off ill from work but busy tending to your virtual garden on Facebook, you could get fired.

You could be sued for complaining about your landlord on Twitter.

Location Based Social Media: It hasn’t happened yet, but isn’t it convenient for your stalkers that you can now be tracked down to exact GPS coordinates?

In case you were wondering, there is an entire website dedicated to robbing people while they aren’t at home. Useful option in the event you’re a thrill seeker or a travel writer without a day job.

How to Stop Freaking Out

So this whole situation started just a few years ago, when Facebook appealed mainly to the college and university crowd. Students posted their drunk party photos on Facebook. Meanwhile, interviewers ran internet searches on potential candidates online only learn more about their underwear brand and which flavor Absolut they preferred.

Now, all your information lies only as far away as the nearest keyboard. Try typing your name into Google and see what you get. Then add to that, the pressure to join and share on any of the many varied social networking platforms. It is difficult to know what you should share and what should be kept private.

Perhaps your late night adventures are an obvious opt-out, but what about everything else?

Guidelines To Navigate Your Social Media Privacy

• If you’re in a precarious situation, social media is not for you. This includes people in the witness protection program (they still have that, right?), have a stalker, a violent or abusive relationship, or have a restraining order out on anyone, then broadcasting updates on social media really is just asking for trouble. Stick to email for now. Is it really worth the risk?


Photo by albany tim

• The so-called protected status updates aren’t as protected as you think they are. If you think your protected Twitter account is private, allow me to follow you, and I’ll retweet your latest update for everyone to see. I’ve even done this by accident. It’s easy to do. Your private LinkedIn profile is viewable to me if I join one of the groups you are in. And ven if I’m not your Facebook friend, I can still see your thumbnail photo and a sampling of people who are your friends.

  The Internet works because it is open and it is social. It’s like trying to keep a secret in a room full of people talking – ultimate privacy just isn’t going to happen.

• Decide what’s private and draw the line. You need to know what is private and what isn’t; make yourself a personal policy and stick to it. Here are some examples of my personal policy:
• I typically don’t check in on Foursquare until I’m leaving, if I don’t want anyone to join me. If I don’t want people to know I’ve been there, I don’t check in at all.
• I often talk about my travels, but I never Tweet or update my Facebook status with specific flight name or number until after I have landed on the other side. If someone needs to know, they’ll get an email or Direct Message.
• TwitPics and photos of my family are off limits. My mother is adorable, but she prefers to stay on the sidelines, and I respect that. (Hi mom!)
• I regularly review the privacy settings on my social networking accounts. Facebook privacy, in particular, always seems to be adding additional “features” that you have to opt out of. Frustrating, to say the least.

What’s the bottom line? The decision on what to share on social media is yours and yours alone. Chances are you will not get stalked, fired, or otherwise be exposed by social media, but isn’t it worth taking five minutes to decide and make a personal policy on what’s worth sharing with the world and what is best kept to yourself?

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

How do you protect your privacy when using social media? Are our lives becoming too transparent? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo by alborzshawn

I’ve been couchsurfing going on four years now and in that time I’ve hosted and surfed couches all over the world. When I began, I didn’t have a place of my own, so I surfed. I kept notes, too, on the things I most appreciated from my hosts and tucked that information away for the day I would finally have a couch of my own.

I love couchsurfing. How great it can be to meet a complete stranger one evening and by the time you climb on your bus, car, or airplane a day or two later, you’ve shared something deep, fun, silly or stupid and that stranger has become a friend?

But surfing can be exhausting. You’re always on the move and you’re living by the rules — for lack of a better way to describe it — of your hosts.

Hosting, I find, to be much more relaxing than surfing. You’d think having a stranger in your house might put you on edge, but really it’s the opposite. As a host, you’ll find you have fewer responsibilities than as a surfer. You set the boundaries of the interaction and don’t have to live as much by someone else’s schedule. That is, if you’re doing it right.

So how do you do it right?

1. Be clear about what you offer as a host.

Don’t offer more than you can afford money, time, space or any otherwise.

Photo by Aine D

Are you uncomfortable leaving a stranger with the key to your home? Write that in your profile. Are you alright with showing your guests around at night, but want them out of your apartment during the day? State that directly.

Some other guidelines to think about: How much space do you have for guests and how many people can realistically fit in that space. Some people are perfectly happy to have 10 people sacked out pile-of-kitten style in sleeping bags on their living room floor. Some are not. Do you allow smoking in your apartment? Are you comfortable with people drinking or would you prefer they do it elsewhere? Do you have pets? Are families welcome in your home?

If you check the Describe Your Couch section of the Couchsurfing profile page, you’ll find other ideas to keep in mind as you fill in your own profile.

One warning I include in my profile? If you break something, just let me know. I’d much rather you be honest about what happened, than sneak off and pretend you had nothing to do with it. I care much less about your ability to replace said-broken-thing than about your stupid lies.

2. Say no to those who haven’t carefully read your profile.

If someone doesn’t have the decency to actually find out who you are before asking to stay with you, do you really want this person in your house?

Of course, not everyone feels this way, and many don’t mind having random people using their house as a hotel. Most people I know, do not share this sentiment.

In fact, many of my closest and most experienced Couchsurfing friends bury a sentence somewhere deep in their profiles asking you to mention a specific word or topic in your couch request. If you don’t mention that word, they know you haven’t read their profiles from top to bottom and immediately deny your couch request.

Photo by elementality

3. Carefully read the profiles of potential guests.

You want to know who will be sleeping on your couch, right? Well, you should.

You learn a lot from a profile. I’ve read literally hundreds of profiles over the past four years and have found the questions and layout to be extremely efficient in letting you know exactly who a person is. That’s why I tend to ignore incomplete profiles. If I don’t know who you are, I don’t really want to take the chance with you sleeping in my house.

You’ll also quickly learn whether you have common interests. You’ll know from references the types of things a person likes to do. Sometimes, I’ll see a profile and all references are very bland. Nothing sticks out. No inside jokes. That makes me think this potential guest maybe doesn’t interact much with his hosts. Does the person talk a lot about staying out late pounding beers? Does that appeal to you? Great. That may well be a match made in heaven.

4. Trust your instincts.

Once you’ve read everything you can about a potential surfer and you’re still not sure. They have good references, but it’s difficult to let down your guard and allow a complete stranger into your life. This is not something people normally do in polite society. It’s not within societal norms in most countries, particularly in big cities.

That’s when you turn to your gut. Are you excited to meet this person? Or are you feeling uneasy? Go with that feeling. It has never let me down.

5. Turn down requests when you can’t host.

There are many reasons you might want to turn down a potential surfer. Maybe you don’t have time. Or you’ve just had another guest and want some down time. Or maybe the surfer’s profile just doesn’t mesh with the type of person you want staying with you.

Don’t be afraid to say no. You don’t even have to supply a reason if you don’t want.

6. Be mellow and flexible.

Yes, I know I’ve been all up in arms about being straight forward, defining your boundaries and not being afraid of sticking to them. Now it seems I’m telling you to bend those boundaries?

Well, sort of.

If you’ve done your due diligence, your guest has arrived. You get along smashingly, have loads in common, and you’re finding her to be pleasant, fun and very respectful of your space.

But you said in your profile you don’t have extra towels or blankets, and now this lovely, pleasant person is standing there asking if you have an extra towel.

It happens. I’ve asked. I’ve been asked. And if on that particular day, I do have a clean towel to share, I hand it over. If I don’t, I simply say I don’t, and we go about seeking a solution.

7. Be helpful. As much as you can.

Keep a folder of bus schedules, maps and general information about your area. That can be tourist pamphlets, restaurant menus or even hand written directions to your favorite local haunt. Take an evening to show your guests around. Introduce them to friends. Take them to a local Couchsurfing gathering.

But don’t worry if you can’t do these things. Couchsurfing is supposed to be fun. It can be difficult enough sharing space with people and sometimes you find you suddenly have a huge work deadline or maybe you simply need to be alone.

That’s ok. Just let your surfer know that he will have to go out and about on his own. A good guest will respect that. You’ll also find experienced travelers — as the vast majority of Couchsurfers tend to be — are happy enough to go exploring alone.

Photo by love2dreamfish

8. Do let your guests make dinner for you, wash dishes or help out as they offer.

Please, for the love of God, always accept the gift of dish washing. When your guest asks you to point him in the direction of the nearest supermarket along with an offer to make dinner, put on your coat and walk straight to the nearest supermarket. Better yet, take them to a local market singular to your town.

Last week, we had four guests. Two couples. You might already know them as Dan and Audrey from Uncornered Market and Jason and Aracely from Two Backpackers. We all took turns cooking and cleaning up, and I barely touched sponge to dish the entire time they were here.

This is a perfect example of how hosting actually made my life easier.

9. Do expect them to clean up after themselves.

This should be self explanatory. Yes, it’s obvious, but if a guest makes a mess, leaving you something more to add to your to-do list, consider mentioning that in your reference for them. It doesn’t need to be a big production or complaint, but in my book, leaving a host with more work, washing or stress is high up there on the list of bad guest faux pas.

One caveat to this: some people like their homes and lives straightened organized and clean in a very particular manner. If this is you, it’s probably unrealistic to expect the same from your guests.

Sure, you can provide them with a long list of rules detailing the direction in which the knives must point in the middle drawer or which brush to use when cleaning crumbs off the couch, but honestly, if that’s your bag, perhaps hosting isn’t for you.

10. Don’t expect them to clean up after you.

They’re guests. They’re there to share time, space, maybe a meal or a drink out. If you want a personal servant, go to Craigslist and shell out the cash for someone who actually does that for a living.

11. Leave A Reference

Good or bad, references allow others to better evaluate the time you spent with a guest. If the time was good, you should let your guest and others know. It’s can be a sweet parting goodbye.

If the experience was a bad one, mention that too, and don’t be afraid to leave a negative reference if the situation warrants.

What warrants a negative reference in my book? Only if a surfer is dangerous or threatening in some way. I would only use a negative reference if f I want to warn others not to accept couch requests from that particular profile.

I’ll add, though, in four years, I have never even come close to leaving a negative reference. That’s why I so strongly emphasize the importance of reading profiles and turning people down if they’re not complete. I have read hundreds of profiles and have yet to find a person who differs greatly from the image portrayed on their page.

12. No rule applies in every situation.

Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing is 100%. None of these rules apply in every case, so ultimately, you have to use your own judgment.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What tips do you have for being a good host? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo by bowena

Few people actually exchange letters via snail mail anymore. Nowadays we’re all about quick e-mails, Facebook wall posts and Tweets. But the handwritten letter is personal because it requires more thought, more time, and some creativity.

I started pen-palling when I was six years old. My grandmother referred me to a local publication where kids my age advertised for pen-pals within the province. I placed my ad, and waited.

A few weeks later, dozens of letters started showing up in my mailbox. I was beyond thrilled. The first was from a girl named Mandy, who wrote her letter on hot-pink cardboard Barbie stationery. I still have it somewhere.

Unfortunately, Mandy was a lousy pen-pal who barely wrote more than a few lines per letter and then eventually ignored me entirely. If you’re a newbie to the snail mail world, there’s a few things to keep in mind.

Photo by anniehp

Don’t take a year to reply

This may seem like an obvious one, but there’s a major annoyance that comes with waiting for super delayed letters. Especially when you put so much time and effort into writing yours.

People are understandably busy, but set aside an hour in the evening before bed to work on it. On the other hand, quality is more important than speed, so make sure you have something good to send.

Don’t just seek out people with similar interests

Some of the coolest people I’ve ever corresponded with were my total opposites. Some listened to heavy metal while I listened to classic rock, others were married and had children while I was finishing up my last year of high school. I learned a lot from these friends, and they were good company during my silly teenage trials.

Send little gifts

Postage is expensive, but a little extra effort never hurts. Stick some colorful stickers into an envelope, or ship a book. Even photographs are a great change of pace from all the digital images these days.

My pen-pals used to send little homemade greeting cards on occasion, and sometimes postcards from their hometown. It’s somewhat surprising how those little extras can brighten up a person’s day.

Be a good listener

Photo by jenna.kaminsky

Matador Network editor Joshua Johnson got it right when he said, “Don’t make it all about yourself.” Reading pages upon pages of someone’s life story moaning about their cat’s upset stomach is a bummer. I once had a pen-pal who literally sent me a list of her medical conditions. An actual list. I can sympathize, but not for 16 pages.

Comment on the person’s letter, address any questions they have, and then ask them questions about their life as well. This tends to happen naturally: if someone writes a lengthy letter, there’s lots to discuss. People are flattered when you ask about their lives, it means someone is listening.

Find some pen-pals

Finally, there’s an incredible number of resources for finding pen-pals, especially online. Try InterPals, where you can meet and talk to thousands of people seeking new friends, or PenPal World, with over 750,000 registered users.

Also extend an offer to online friends, via Twitter or other social media. Doing so will often result in postcard or letter exchanges, and sometimes from surprising places.

Community Connection

Do you still write handwritten letters, or do you prefer emails?

April 15th. The day the Titanic hit an iceberg and Samuel Johnson published the first English language dictionary. This same day, Jackie Robinson broke the baseball color barrier with the Brooklyn Dodgers and Fidel Castro began a good will tour of the US.

But really most citizens of the United States know this day as Tax Day, the official deadline for filing individual tax returns. With a little knowledge and forethought, though, you can take at least some of the stress out of this hellish day.

Each year the amount of tax you pay depends on your overall earned income after deductions and personal exemptions. It’s your responsibility to inform both federal and state governments how much tax you underpaid during the year or how much you expect them to return if you overpaid.

Photo by lucyfrench123

What Deductions Can I Make

If you do go for Itemized Deductions, the federal government offers a variety of tax credits and deductions. The following are a few deductions a freelancer can consider:

Job-related equipment
If you buy something you need to do your work, it is potentially claimable. This might include a laptop for a travel writer or blogger, or a digital SLR and lenses for a travel photographer. A course such as MatadorU would also count, since you paid tuition to improve your travel writing skills. Same for any fees paid to professional organizations you belong to.

Gas mileage
If your home office is your base of operations, you can deduct gas mileage to client sites when using your personal car. Just remember to keep your receipts, and a good estimate of how far you’ve driven.

Higher Education
The American Opportunity Credit and Lifetime Learning Credits and Tuition Feeds & Deductions allow individuals and families to claim deductions on post-High School education that relates to your work. It’s important you keep all statements and receipts for expenses relating to undergraduate and graduate classes, as you might need to provide them when filing your taxes.
Note you couldn’t claim continuing education deductions associated with a course such as MatadorU, because the online school is not a registered college or university.

Photo by geishaboy500

Damaged or stolen property
If your personal or business property is damaged or stolen during the year, you can claim these costs as a deduction. Note that unless it was a big-ticket item – like having your personal yacht stolen by pirates – the value probably won’t reach the Standard Federal Deduction.

Charitable donations
If you’ve donated money to any charities, such as to the Red Cross after the horrific earthquake in Haiti, the donations can be claimed as deductions on your federal taxes.

Adoption
If you successfully or unsuccessfully adopted a child, under 18 years old, during your travels around the world (whether on assignment or otherwise), you might be eligible to deduct expenses such as: court costs, attorney fees, travel (including meals and lodging), and other miscellaneous costs related to adoption.

For more ideas
Check out 10 Deductions Freelancers Can Make, on Freelance Switch. The article also includes links for those paying taxes in Canada, Australia and the UK.

Filing an Extension

Missed the April 15th deadline? Or simply need more time to get yourself sorted? Filing an extension can help minimize the payments and penalties you pay.

Photo by HikingArtist

Filing for an extension, using the Application for Automatic Extension of Time to File U.S. Individual Income Tax Return, will give you an additional six months to file your taxes, buying you time to look for loose change under the couch so you can make a partial payment on your estimated taxes. You will need to fill out Form 4868.

There are some drawbacks to filing for an extension. There is a monthly penalty if you are filing late, approximately 5% of the amount due. And because you are making a late payment, you will have to pay interest on the amount owed, as well as a penalty which ranges from 0.5 to 1% of the amount owed.

More Tax Tidbits

Keep a copy of your filed tax records for three years, in case the government wants to review prior payments.

The more income you earn, the higher your chance of being audited by the IRS, as they will want to make sure you are paying the appropriate amount of tax.

There is no statute of limitations for the government to track you down if you file a fraudulent tax return, or decide not to file a tax return at all.

Check out Turbo Tax’s free Estimated Tax Calculator to figure out how much tax you will need to pay.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Have you tried any of these for yourself? How did they work? Do you have any tax advice for freelance writers? Share your ideas in the comments below.

As a full time technical writer and a part-time travel writer, a great deal of my life is online. My email is often the first thing I check in the morning, and the last thing I shut down at night. There are times when I get panicked if I’m away from the computer for so long.

For example, as I’m writing this on my lunch break, the office’s Internet is down. I keep sporadically refreshing my browser, just in case I miss something important. Like an email announcing the implosion of the universe.

The same goes for writing online. I spend so much time talking to Matador Life’s editor Leigh Shulman that our work chats eventually lead to men discussions or stories about the tadpoles in the backyard of her garden. I even know the color of her new couch. Red, custom made.

We editors are all spread out across the globe, so the Internet is really our only option.

But the world doesn’t stop when you’re offline. I came to this realization last week, when I had planned on devoting my entire Sunday afternoon to catching up on work. But the day was uncharacteristically beautiful, the first hint of spring, and I was aching to get outside. My roommate Renee and I went for a three hour hike instead, we ate ice-cream and sat atop Signal Hill looking out at the Atlantic Ocean. I thought, “These moments are the kind you live for. Not the ones sitting in front of a computer screen.”

While it’s impractical to cut out the Internet entirely, here are a few ways to cut back on your Internet addiction.

Understand your offline relationships are the most important.

I like to think the people I’ve encountered over the past few months are my friends. They’re an amazing support network, a community of like-minded people. But it’s important to nurture the “real life” relationships, the people who have been there from the beginning. The kind of friends who will bail you out of the drunk tank, or lend you some money when all you can afford to eat is canned soup. This especially applies to family members.

Take time everyday to enjoy moments with friends and family. If you’re like me, working from 9-5, you spend most of your life with colleagues. Sanity needs to be preserved.

Make time to connect with Internet friends offline.

Photo by xiordashx

If you’re connecting with so many people online, actually make the effort to meet up with them in real life. Meeting someone for the first time offline is more than a little intimidating, but you really can’t tell what kind of a bond you actually have until you’re face to face. Attend a Travel Blog Exchange, book a suite apartment with a bunch of travelers and party until daylight. Or crash on someone’s couch via Couchsurfing.

Resist fancy phones with data packages.

I have purposely refused to buy an iPhone simply because I know I’ll be checking my phone constantly for texts and Facebook messages. Sometimes I find myself out with friends, checking my emails. Why? What is the hurry?

You’ll end up being that douchebag, the one with his/her nose buried in a phone being too arrogant to participate in real conversation.

If you’re a traveler and you need your phone to get work done, this may not work for you. But at least limit your phone time. Buy a more restrictive phone package, or simply place it in a drawer far from sight for a period of time each day.

Have an unplugged, offline day.

One whole day, sun-up to sun-down. Think you can handle it? Make a big breakfast, finish some laundry, run some errands, join a friend for a cup of tea, read something from the stack of books on your nightstand, go for a jog, sit outside in the sun. Life really does happen beyond the computer.

Find other ways to connect with people.

Facebook, instant messenger, and email are the most popular methods of communication between me and my real life friends. It’s convenient and quick, and a great way to communicate with several people at once.

But draw the line somewhere. Instead of instant messaging a friend to ask if they’d like to go for a walk, pick up the phone. Show up unannounced at their door, if you don’t mind being that annoying “pop-in” person.

Don’t be available all the time.

This is my biggest issue. At my office, we use the Internet and instant messaging freely while working. Some days I get people messaging me to chat, and then they get furious when I don’t reply. It is absolutely necessary to separate work time from personal time. If you keep socializing with the outside world at work, you’re asking to be fired.

The same goes for phones. I’ve had several people over the years say, “Why don’t you ever answer your phone?” Sometimes I don’t want to. It’s a choice, and it should be respected. Also, I may or may not like you and would rather not say it to your face. Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions.

Write a list of everything you used to do before you were addicted to the Internet.

I find it difficult to imagine exactly what I used to do with my spare time, but I feel it involved a lot of reading and letter writing. If you put it all down on paper, you’ll get a good idea of just how much time you’re wasting.

Seriously, if you have a real Internet addiction, get help.

There’s actually oodles of information for people who are addicted to cyber-sex and Facebook. If you’re drawn to whipping out your genitals on live webcamera in front of an audience, you should probably heed real, professional advice.

Not convinced these ideas will work? Try a web application that will help monitor your Internet time. Ironic, no?

Community Connection

Learn how to travel unplugged, or break free from your television addiction.

Photo by frerieke

I lived in my car for about six months due to some hard times. Maybe it began as just a means to an end, but for me, it was also a step toward a greater freedom otherwise unattainable like say, traveling the world or finally purchasing that dream house debt free. It wasn’t easy, but it definitely made me appreciate people and life just a little more.

In some places, though, living in a car is frowned upon or even illegal, so check with your state or country before parking. Choosing the right parking spot, having fuel, food and facilities at hand, and being prepared for dreadful conditions are musts for survival.

What Supplies Will I Need?

Bedroom

• Sleeping bag/blanket
• Pillow and Tent (for nights when camping is possible)

Bathroom

Photo by ktylerconk

• Toothbrush and Toothpaste
• Soap, Shampoo, and Conditioner
• Deodorant and Make-up
• Washcloth and Towel
• Toilet Paper
• Pee bottle (optional)
• Medicines
• Shaving Supplies (obviously optional)
• Feminine Products (lovely euphemism)

Keep these in labeled and reusable Ziploc bags for easy accessibility and to keep the rest of your stuff dry when these are wet.

Dress to Impress

Pack in duffel bag.

• Work/play clothes
• Swimsuit for easy bathing
• Shoes
• Extra: bandana/hat

Kitchen

Stuff in collapsible cooler behind passenger seat

• One spoon/knife/fork/spatula
• One cook set (pan/plate/bowl/cup)
• Can opener
• Trash bags/Ziplock bags
• Collapsible water bags
• Extra: Firewood/lighter or a camp stove, especially in drought-ridden areas

What to Eat

Stuff in collapsible cooler behind passenger seat

• Canned beans/soup/fruit
• Dried fruit/peanuts/trail mix
• Dry cereal/oatmeal/granola
• Crackers/ bread/tortillas/bagels
• Tea bags/drink mix/sugar/coffee
• Vitamins/minerals
• Spices
• Extra: Fresh fruits/veggies/cheeses/meats/eggs/milk. Eat soon. Restock. Repeat.

Office & Entertainment

Stuff into backpack and leave in trunk or carry it along

• Laptop
• Portable DVD
• Camera or videocamera
• Books/magazines
• Maps
• Binder/folders/work papers
• Extra: cigarette phone charger/plug conversion, solar-powered light or mini book light

Tools

Stuff in toolbox

• Compass
• Leatherman
• Rope/duct tape
• Car tools/spare tire/jack

Where’s A Good Place To Sleep?

The car is packed. Granola bars and dried apricots are within arms reach and Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” is on the radio. Now where do I go?

Safety

Sleep in well-lit areas and avoid parking in residential zones, commercial properties (unless permission is given) and dead-end streets.

Photo by foxypar4

Where to Park

Natural/State parks I found State parks to be a godsend as restrooms and showers are readily available. They also offer extended stays, camping and outdoor recreation such as swimming, hiking and other forms of entertainment. Free wi-fi may be available. Tip: Invest in a state park pass.

Rest areas/truck stops – Look for a visitor center or 24-hour security at rest areas and larger, well-lit truck stops. Free wi-fi may be available.

Wal-Marts – Invest in 2010 Wal-Mart Atlas and No Overnight RV Parking Directory, as some Wal-Marts do not allow overnight parking. If there is a question, ask the manager for permission.

Cracker Barrels – The restaurant usually allows overnight RV parking and travelers are always welcome. If there is a question, ask the manager for permission.

Thinking this might be a more permanent situation?

The Switch-a-roo

• Invest in storage unit for keepsakes/furniture
• Invest in an auto club for repairs
• Invest in a P.O. Box or set mail to general delivery to be picked up at nearest post office
• Pay bills online
• Have a lock box welded in car trunk/truck/SUV (relatively cheap)
• Tint windows or use a sunshade for extra privacy

If trouble does arise, memorize this passage from the fourth amendment:

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

A Favorite Moment:

Like I said, it wasn’t easy, but there were also sweet moments. Once, I was sitting under a tree reading a book at a Texas rest area and I kept hearing soft meows. Curious, I wandered toward the noise and found a homeless cat sitting under some hedges. She wasn’t scared just hungry so I shared some Cheerios with her and even thought about taking her in. As the day went on, I noticed people coming and going but always stopping to share what they had with her, even cat food. Now who carries cat food with them? I soon realized she had this whole thing figured out and was where she was supposed to be.

So if you ever find yourself on Southbound Interstate 35 at mile marker 180 and spot the gray and black striped cat, feel free to feed her but definitely leave her be, oh and say hello for me.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Check out additional Matador resources to learn how to sleep in your car and how to live on wheels.

The key to getting through an event, be it an anthropogenic or natural disaster, is to develop a solid plan and prepare yourself for the most probable scenario. Taking steps in advance can seriously reduce your risks and potentially be the difference between catastrophe and inconvenience.

There are so many potential hazards, how do I identify risk?

Hazards can be categorized into three main categories: Natural, Technological and Terrorism. A comprehensive list of hazards as well as an excellent manual for preparation can be found at the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

Identify the events that have the most probability of occurring and not necessarily the one that is most personally frightening to you. Yes, it is possible that a terrorist group will target Sawgrass Mills mall near Boca Raton, Florida in an attempt to send a message to the United States government, but odds are that you are more susceptible to flooding, hurricanes and extreme heat.

Hurricanes generally do not hit states such as California but there you have a greater possibility of experiencing an earthquake or responding to a wild fire. View this strategically unless you wish to devote unnecessary time preparing for every eventuality.

Resources for Determining Risk

Consult your local insurance agent and discuss hazard probability with them. They are in the business of assigning value based on available historical data. You can purchase a plan from them if you wish.

FEMA’s Hazard Maps, the United States Geological Survey has a customizable earthquake probability map , and your closest government planning office should have reliable local information.

Planning and Preparation

Once you’ve isolated your potential risk, it’s time to begin preparations. As it turns out there is much overlap and a few steadfast rules that apply in most situations.

Photo by kansasphoto

Determine the emergency evacuation route that your community has established. This can be found online or at your local government planning office.

Mark the route clearly on a map to be stored in your vehicle. It is important to follow the exact route and not deviate or take short-cuts as you could find yourself in a bad situation with no one around to provide assistance.

Take photographs or video of your house and catalogue your personal belongings before a catastrophic event. This can help you get properly compensated when dealing with insurance companies. Also, discuss your policy with your agent in advance to find out what you are covered for under your current home policy.

Scan or photocopy important documents like the deed to your house, birth certificates, medical history, passports and insurance papers. Store original documents at a well fortified location (eg bank vault) if possible. Scanning is a good solution as you can fit most important documents on a small and inexpensive USB flash drive or a micro SD card from your cell phone.

Become acquainted with how to shut off your water, gas and electricity systems. Earthquakes have been known to rupture gas lines and cause secondary explosions. By turning off your gas you can avoid this unfortunate situation. Imagine your house survives a magnitude 7.0 earthquake only to become a fire ball ten minutes later when you forget to turn off the gas.

Potable water is a priceless commodity during most hazards. By turning off your home’s water main it will prevent water already accumulated in your hot water tank, toilets and pipes from contamination. Water stored in your hot water tank is an excellent source of potable water during emergencies.

Remember to share this information with your housemates so that the responsibility does not entirely depend on you.

Establish a meeting point and contingency plan. Hazards don’t occur on your schedule, so make another plan, thus it is highly possible that you will be separated from your friends or family.

Photo by Garton

Remember that plans are created to keep you safe, not to expose you to greater risk. If your path or meeting place is blocked or dangerous, find the most secure place for yourself before trying to make contact with family and friends.

Establish a contact person who does not live in your region so that they can relay messages and coordinate meeting points in times of crisis and cell phone failure.

EXAMPLE: If there is a fire in the house, meet by the large oak tree in the neighbor’s yard. If that becomes impossible, then meet at supermarket around the corner. If both become impossible and your entire area has become dangerous, find the best place for yourself and when possible call your contact person for more information.

Getting Your Disaster Kit Ready

Potable water is by far the most important supply you can have. While it is possible to live for weeks without food, you will perish in a matter of days without water. Figure at least a half gallon per day per person. Also keep in mind that this is a baseline amount. For example, nursing mothers require more water than an average individual. Contact a health or nutrition professional to determine your personal water intake needs.

FEMA recommends that you put together three disaster kits: home, school/work and car.

At Home:

• Enough food and water to last you anywhere from 3 days to 2 weeks
• A battery powered or hand crank radio to get latest news and advisories. Often these devices have other features like cell phone chargers, flashlights and alarms
• Appropriate clothing – that could be additional coats for cold weather, long pants and long sleeved shirts to protect your arms and legs, rain gear, protective footwear and extra socks

• A first-aid kit
• Moist toilettes or toilet paper
• Flashlights with extra batteries
• Hand sanitizer
• Basic tool set
• Any other special medical or personal hygiene supplies you might need

Pack your kit in a duffle bag or backpack and put it in a place that is accessible to everyone in the house.

At Work/School:

This should be a small bag that you can grab and run. It should contain food and water. If you are able to store a pair of sneakers or good walking shoes in your office this also might come in handy.

Car:

• Water and food
• Jumper cables
• Flashlight
• Basic tool set
• First aid kit and a map with your evacuation route highlighted

I keep a small tent and a couple of sleeping bags in my trunk. We usually use them for camping, but in case of emergency, it could be extremely useful as well.

Additional Resources:

Accurate and timely information will save your life and help you understand the threat at hand.

Early warning systems and other types of signals are in place in most developed countries around the world.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) weather radio is broadcast throughout the United States. NOAA also has an excellent real time map of weather conditions across the country.

Photo by srqpix

The Emergency Alert System (EAS) can be found on many participating radio and television channels. EAS will interrupt regular programs with a long, high pitched siren and warn of potential hazards.

FEMA provides a complete and downloadable e-book with extensive information and checklists for every eventuality. It’s called Are You Ready?

Remember, having a clear and concise plan will not only educate you about potential risks but also put you in a better situation for reducing collateral damages and expediting recovery. If you can avoid panic induced decisions in favor of a more rational approach it is possible for you to be there for family, friends and your community in a more expansive way.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

For more information on surviving natural disasters check out by Carly Blatt’s How to Survive Travel Disasters: Lessons from Hurricane Katrina and Julie Schwietert’s How to Get Disaster Response Training: 5 FREE Resources

Photo by quinn.anya

Yes, it’s simple. You just need the right recipe. This one comes from the Artisan Bread In Five Minutes A Day cookbook, and this is how I do it.

Mixing day:

1. Get a container that can hold several quarts of dough. My container’s square dimensions mean it takes up little space in the fridge.

Photo and Feature Photo by author

Add ingredients as follows:

* 3 cups of warm water (about 750 ml)

* 1 1/2 tablespoons of yeast (about 37 ml)

* 1 1/2 tablespoons of salt (about 37 ml)

* 6 1/2 cups of flour (about 780 g).

The recipe calls for all-purpose flour. I usually bake bread with bread flour, which is a higher-protein flour that typically makes longer strands of gluten, and I like a little bit of whole-grain tooth. For this recipe, I’ve generally been using 1 cup of whole wheat flour (ours is stone-ground and quite rough), 1 1/2 cups of bread flour, and 4 cups of all-purpose flour. Experiment with mixtures you like.

2. Stir up the ingredients until everything is damp. If you live in a dry climate and your flour seems exceptionally dry, add a little bit more water (a couple of tablespoons). Don’t worry about being super thorough — overmixing isn’t necessary. This should take about 2 minutes.

3. Leave it on the counter for a couple of hours if you want to bake immediately. If not, put it in the refrigerator. Overnight is good. A full day is great. Up to a week or two should be OK. This is what it will look like after it’s been chilling and rising:

Note: For those with small refrigerators, you can divide the recipe in half, let the dough rise on the counter, and bake it immediately so you don’t give up valuable refrigerator space to the dough. Or collaborate with neighbors and share a big batch!

Baking day:

1. Get the dough out of the fridge. You’ll want a nice, peaceful, nonstick surface for your dough to rise on. I like to use a Silpat mat — it is nonstick, nontoxic, reusable, heat safe, and flexible for easy dough-dumping. (I got mine 10 years ago at New York Cake & Pastry, which is stamped on the mat, making them a useful souvenir of my time cooking in NYC.) If you don’t have a Silpat, you can use the counter, a towel or a small plate or cutting board.

2. Dust your rising surface with a good coat of flour. Any kind will do.

3. Pull off a hunk of dough. Some guidelines: A piece the size of a grapefruit is about a pound (450 g). A piece the size of a cantaloupe is about 1 1/2 lbs (675 g). I use a piece probably closer to 2 pounds (900 g) — the size of a really big cantaloupe, or maybe a somewhat petite honeydew. You can use a knife, too, but mine usually tears easily and doesn’t require cutting.

Set the dough on the floured surface. Flour your hands. Shape the wad of dough into a round loaf just like this:

4. Cover the dough with a towel and let it nap for a while. How long it rises will depend on how warm your kitchen is. An hour is sufficient if it’s warm (75-80F/25C and up). My kitchen is usually freezing (60-62F/16C), so I leave it out 2 to 3 hours.

5. About 25 minutes before you want to start baking the bread, put your covered heatproof pan in the oven and turn the oven on to very hot (450F/232C). (My pan is a Williams-Sonoma covered cast-iron Dutch oven skillet that my co-worker Jill, God bless her, gave me in 1992.) I like to put the pan in the oven when I start the bread rising, long before I turn the oven on; otherwise, I am prone to forget it and just heat the oven sans pan.

6. When the oven is preheated, uncover your dough. It doesn’t look too much different — just a little bit taller, softer and more refreshed after its rising “nap.”

7. I bend the edges of the Silpat around the dough to shake as much flour close to the dough as I can to minimize the mess. Take the pan out of the oven (careful! It’s SO hot) and remove the lid.

Photo by ansik

Carefully dump the dough into the pan. What was the bottom will be on top, with some rough edges showing. That’s OK! It will all work out in the end.

8. Bake for about 30 minutes. Then open the oven, take off the lid, and let the bread keep on baking for about 20 minutes longer. (Those rough edges have made a gorgeous crown on the bread.) Check it after that initial 30 minutes — if your oven is hotter, the bread might not need as much time. It will be done when it is fairly brown on top, quite brown (but not black) on the bottom, and sounds hollow when tapped.

9. It comes out of the oven brown and amazing!

10. Gently (and carefully! — it’s hot) tip the bread out of the pan and let the bread cool completely on a rack.

11. Slice it and enjoy the texture. It should be moist, chewy and crusty — perfect for toast, sandwiches or just scarfing down with butter.

Please note that it has probably taken you almost as long to read this post as to make the bread!

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

For more recipes, tips and tricks check out Matador’s Food and Travel page.

Photo by author

Singletons. If you fancy eating out this Sunday, don’t bother. Restaurants everywhere will be dispensing with their normal menus and serving overpriced, five-course dinners to twosomes, many of whom will be joined at hip and lip. Yes, Valentine’s Day approaches, and with it the grim stench of solitude for all us unattached people. No wonder they call it VD.

But what if we stopped believing the endless hype churned out by ad agencies and dating websites? What if we consider that being by ourselves can actually be enjoyable?

Beyond the Marketing Campaign

One-person homes are now more common than ever, comprising 27% of US households and 29% of UK households. Still, the media message blares forth: Happiness comes not only from having a long-term partner, but also by continually surrounding yourself with a fabulous array of friends. Sites like Facebook and Twitter make it virtually impossible to entirely escape other humans.

With these thoughts in mind, I join 21 others for the simply titled How To Be Alone workshop at London’s School of Life. The School of Life includes a new bookshop and social enterprise with the aim of teaching attendees “all the things you never learned at school” through lectures, discussions, meals and trips, all of which delve voraciously into philosophy, art and psychology.

Photo by Jurijus Azanovas

No One Wants To Be Stuck Alone With A Boiled Egg

Leading the session is Naomi Alderman, award-winning novelist and a convert to single living after years of feeling terrified of being alone. Once she left her door always unlocked so she could always come home to friends (or burglars). Now she appreciates the delights of solitude espoused by such luminary loners as the 19th century writer Thoreau, who spent two years by himself in a Massachusetts forest, discovering he has “never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude”.

In medieval Britain, almost every village had either a hermit — usually male and living out in the sticks — or a recluse, generally female and stationed at the edge of a neighborhood. Quiet and content in their stillness, these lone dwellers were considered deeply wise and often divine.

But, explains Naomi, this changed in the 1500s with the closing of the monasteries and the rise of Protestantism. Seen as a relic of Catholicism, hermits were now eyed with suspicion and linked to dark forces. To a degree, this stigma still continues today, with solitary individuals frequently viewed as weirdos, even serial killers in the making.

Thankfully, no one at the workshop appears notably murderous, and when Naomi asks us to form small groups for discussion, it seems we solo types have a lot to say. One woman imagines that everyone else in London is having a ball while she is “stuck at home with a boiled egg.” Another confesses to frequently telling her friends she is busy, when in fact she just wants an evening to herself doing nothing.

Being Alone Vs Being Lonely

Everyone agrees that being alone and being lonely are entirely different things. One is forced upon us. The other is a choice. If you spend Saturday night alone watching a DVD because that’s what you want. Great! If it’s because you’ve had no other offers. Not so great.

Photo by Only Sequel

Naomi encourages us to contemplate the potential benefits of solitude: creativity, inner peace and an increased affinity with nature. She then suggests activities for improving our ability to be alone, including meditation, gardening, and visiting a restaurant by ourselves. There are several protests over this last one. Apparently a table for one still serves as the icon for alone-without-choice.

Naomi also emphasizes the importance of making new friends and proposes numerous ways of doing so in order to spend at least some of our time with others:

“Knowing that you can do solitude and socializing makes each one better.”

Indeed, as with so much of life, the answer lies in balance. There’ will be times when aloneness, as Californian author Anneli Rufus puts it, provides “just what we need, the way tuna need the sea”, and isolation can be truly splendid. There will also be those times we need the comfort and stimulation of other human beings around us.

As we shuffle out the School of Life’s cosy lecture room, a number of us decide to move onto the pub, but we won’t forget what we learned tonight. We are independent spirits. This weekend, we won’t give a monkey’s what those couples are doing as we head to our favorite restaurant with a single-seat table to people watch or read a book or simply enjoy the meal as we dine alone
.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Embrace the solo spirit with Michaela Lola’s Solo Travel: 6 Reasons to Wander Alone

Plastic bags, the scourge of our planet. On the one hand, plastic bags are innocuous carriers of stuff. We use them to bring home groceries. A restaurateur ties them carefully around our take-out soup to prevent spills. They keep the wet swimsuit from soaking our clothes in an overnight bag.

Yet they also serve as the modern marker of impending doom. In movies or photographs, every bad neighborhood, every empty stretch of road where evil is surely soon to invade, is populated by a plastic bag impaled on a barbed-wire fence or blowing listlessly across the street.

Photo by Samuel Mann

Plastic Damage

That doom, of course, also applies to our planet. Only about 12 percent of plastic bags and film were reused or recycled in 2007, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). The rest were discarded. Plastic bags are lodged in our waterways, creating irreversible harm to animals on a physical level — bags in stomachs or around necks — and on a molecular level as the bags disintegrate, the chemicals they release into the environment can create hormonal changes in living things.

While China has banned plastic bags — reportedly saving 1.6 million tons of petroleum for bag production in just one year — most of the rest of us are offered plastic bags daily. Reduce your plastic-bag impact on the world by taking personal action.

How to Keep the Plastic in Check

First, just don’t take a bag – Bring your own with you. If you travel by car, keep a stash of reusable bags in the car. Carry a knapsack or messenger bag where you can stash purchases. Invest in a few expandable string or nylon bags. Bring along reusable mesh produce bags for fruits and veggies, and reusable muslin bags for bulk buys.

What if the deed is done? Put your stash of bags to good use by reusing them. Here are seven ideas to get you started.

Line the trash

Many people reuse plastic bags as small trash can liners. But don’t use this as a reason to get bags, necessarily — we avoid accepting plastic bags and leave our trash cans unlined, putting all our trash into one larger, recycled plastic bag that we dump each week. It doesn’t smell, because we compost our degradable waste.

Photo by ThisParticularGreg

Fuse your own plastic “fabric”

If you have a stack of bags, an iron and some parchment or other non-waxed paper, you can fuse layers of plastic bags together to make waterproof linings for other bags, floor cushions, and more. Be sure to open a window and maybe even wear a respiratory mask to keep the fumes out of your body. Watch a tutorial, and visit Craft for ideas of what to do with the fabric — like making a raincoat!

Fill a flowerpot

You can crumple up plastic bags to put in the bottom of a flowerpot, before filling with potting soil. The pot will be lighter, have easier drainage and require less dirt. Best for non-edible annual plants.

Be ready for emergencies

Throw one or two in your bag or luggage to keep dirty shoes off your packed clothes, or keep your notebook dry even with a damp umbrella in the same bag.

Make plarn

If you’re a knitter or crocheter, consider slicing and dicing bags into plastic yarn, or “plarn.” See a tutorial here from Helle Jorgensen, who crochets phenomenal plastic sea creatures from old bags.

Recycle the bags – and other plastic

While the EPA reports that only about 6.8 percent of all plastics were recycled in 2008, many communities now have drop-off sites that accept plastic bags for recycling. And “filmy” plastic includes more than just grocery sacks. In the same bin, you can return dry cleaning bags, shrink-wrap from boxes, clean plastic wrap, newspaper bags or any lightweight plastic to be turned into another product, like lumber, garbage bags or milk jugs.

Buy recycled plastic

If you must buy plastic bags — to carry away major garbage, for instance — buy recycled.

Community Connection

Several countries have banned (or taxed) plastic bags in an effort to reduce plastic bag usage. To learn more check out our page on green living.

Photo courtesy of MickRheault!

But this isn’t about vegetarianism. This is about how to make your bowl of wings that much easier.

Behold. Food Wishes blog shows this video on the correct way to at a chicken wing.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

Photo by kennymatic

Working remotely is on the dream list for a lot of people with a sense of wanderlust. Even if your work isn’t travel related, having a job that lets you move around certainly makes life more enjoyable. So how do you run your business from anywhere? Here’s a quick guide to the essential tools you’ll need if you want to pick up and run your business from all corners of the globe.

Invest in a good computer

This may sound like a no-brainer, but if you’re serious about running a business that can be executed from anywhere, your computer is going to be one of your main investments. Some businesses are obviously more computer dependent than others, but at a bare minimum you’re going to need it to do business transactions via the Internet, keep track of your finances, etc. So don’t skimp! Make a list of everything you are going to need your computer to do, and buy accordingly. Invest in insurance for your technology as well; dealing with a computer crash on your own is no business owners dream.

Photo by U Oregon Conference Services

Skype

Skype, the Internet telephone service, is an excellent tool for keeping in touch with business partners and clients. Maintaining more than an email relationship is an important part of business relationships; people want to have real conversations, and taking time to hop on a 30 minute conference call can answer many more questions than a day’s worth of email can.

If your business clients have their own Skype accounts, you can talk for free. Otherwise, invest a few dollars in Skype Out, which allows you to call landlines for inexpensive rates. If you’re running a business where having a telephone number is useful, you can also purchase Skype In, which gives you a phone number that people can call from a regular landline as well as voicemail. You can also conveniently use the service from your iPhone.

Back up

With any work that you’re doing, you’ll want to be sure to back it up. External hard drives have become much less expensive these days and are an excellent investment. You’ll be able to store documents, photos and beyond, ensuring that everything you’ve produced in your business is in a safe place. A lot of my fellow freelancer and adventurer friends use the LaCie Rugged. You can also use online tools for backing up and storing data like Evault and Ibackup.

Photo by twak

Stay organized

If you’re thinking about launching your own business, you’ll want to have all your papers in order from the get go. The more organized you are in the beginning, the smoother the ride will be later. Check out books like Small Business for Dummies, which has a great overview of all the things you need to be thinking about when running a business. Also, make programs like Excel and Quickbooks your new best friends.

Make sure you have a physical address

Even if you can run your business 100% remotely, you’re still going to want a permanent physical address. You will certainly need this for a business license, but it’s also always nice to keep a physical address that clients can send hard documents to if need be. If you’re running a business where you’re mostly on the run and don’t have a permanent address yourself, ask upon friends and family; just be sure you’re choosing an address that isn’t going to change every few months.

Google Apps for Business

If you’re running a business with a couple of partners, Google Apps is a great tool to collaborate on projects and stay in touch. You get the functionality of regular Google applications like Gmail, Google Talk and Google Docs, but with your business email. PC World has an excellent breakdown of just what all the applications are and how they help.

Harness the power of social media

In terms of marketing, using social media tools like Twitter and Facebook can be a small investment with a big pay-off, be it for newly launched businesses or already established ones. Setting up a blog is also a great way to create exposure for yourself as well as allowing you to brand your business. Write about what you’re up to and who you’re working with. A business-oriented blog also allows you to brand yourself as a specialist in your field, another integral part of landing more business contract. Remember that social media channels also allow you to do location-independent marketing, broadening your audience and getting you global exposure.

Community Connection

Do you have any other tips for working on the road? Offer them in the comments!

Photo by Lisa_at_home2002

I’ve had my share of screaming family arguments. They leave me feeling hurt, angry, horribly unbalanced and almost never lead to anything positive. There’s been quite a bit of trial and error, but these are the things that help me remain calm and collected during sometimes difficult family time.

If you know who someone is, then you know what to expect from them.

It could be a constant stream of questions. Or maybe it’s the look your mom gets on her face when she sees your new haircut. Or how your brother starts every freakin’ sentence with “You really should…” Or any of the other fun family stereotypes that drive us batty.

You feel put on the spot, completely misunderstood and unheard because, quite frankly, you don’t ever intend on marrying some nice boy or “settling down” in the way they think you should.

Don’t let it hook you. Yes, easier said than done, but when you know a question is coming, why allow it to make you angry? Prepare for it instead. Have a joke ready in response. Stuff a roll in your mouth. Or just smile hugely, lean in and give your inquisitor an enormous hug.

The trick is in knowing you have no obligation to respond unless you really want. If you do choose to respond, here are some tips to avoid saying something you’ll ultimately regret..

Photo by Computerjoe

Don’t drink or do drugs if you know they have a negative impact on your emotions and behavior.

Pretty simple, actually. If your inhibitions will be lowered, leaving you more likely to get into an argument, don’t imbibe. You can always meet up with your favorite cousin later and discuss over a drink how grandma detailed every moment of her last bowel movement while serving the roasted potatoes with brown sauce. Yum!

Don’t expect more from people than is fair to expect.

Relationships go in phases, and you will not get along with everyone all the time. Some family members are simply different than you. You don’t see the world in the same way, and thus, you don’t get why your aunt prefers to live in an elaborate apartment in New York City while she may never understand your desire to travel through the Mekong Delta with only a backpack and shoes.

Accept it with grace and ease and talk about the things you have in common. I find children seem to be a binding point for many. They can distract you with their games, and two adults who disagree on everything can usually find something they both love about the smallest members of the family.

Make time to take care of yourself.

Do you need occasional time alone? Would you prefer your deeply offensive uncle stay far away? Are you vegetarian? Make a list of the things you most need in order to feel sane and comfortable.

Photo by Lefthand

Of course, there’s a fine line between addressing your needs and being flat out needy, so perhaps choose your top three and work toward making them a reality.

At first, family may be offended, but over time, I promise they’ll get used to it if they’re rational and see that you’re making an effort to be part of the group in other ways. If they’re not rational, there’s no point in rearranging your life and behavior to accommodate someone who will likely never be pleased.

Pick your battles very wisely

Sometimes we want things our own way because we’re feeling pressured, disrespected or unheard. While these may all be good reasons to stand up for yourself, you have to decide whether the family Christmas dinner or New Year’s party is the best time to address them.

Fight only for what you need to take care of yourself, not for what you think should be or what you believe is fair. Fair tends to lose meaning, anyway, when faced with so many personalities, desires and personal philosophies.

If you do fight, do so with humor and sensitivity.

Don’t approach anyone in the throes of anger. Instead, take some time to compose yourself, focus on which issues are most important to you, then address those things directly. State them as a reflection of your feelings and experience, not as an accusation.

Example: It makes me uncomfortable when you make racist comments in front of my African girlfriend.

If your family member makes excuses, don’t get sucked into an attempt to justify yourself. Just repeat, I hear what you’re saying, but it makes me uncomfortable when you make racist comments in front of my girlfriend.

It isn’t easy to remain calm and friendly while restating the same thing like a broken record, but you’ll be surprised at how well this works.

Don’t discuss past details, either.

Details tend to lead to more details and pointless discussion. Next thing you know, you’re screaming about five years ago when Uncle Phil trotted out his travel tidbit of how Brazil is beautiful, if only there weren’t so many brown people it. Yes, Uncle Phil is a schmuck, but it’s not going to address your situation sitting at the dinner table in the here and now.

Walk away if you feel you’re not getting the response you want or feel yourself getting angry.

Everyone Loses It Sometimes

It’s not an inexcusable character flaw to make a mistake. Calm down. Try again or don’t. Take time alone. Or choose another way to disconnect from the drama.

Photo by Symic

Remember, losing your temper is not the end of the world, no matter what anyone else says about it, and no one is exempt from slipping up.

All in all, it’s important to see each visit as its own entity. No matter how much history, practice or experience you have with a person, what happens during one visit exists as a distinct event from anything else that has ever happened in your life and times with your family member. Each family event is just one opportunity to add a bead to the string of positive experiences.

Then, you go back to your own life.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

How do you cope with family stress over the holidays? Share your insights and experience in the comments.

Photo by *D a r i n k a*

Three years ago, I worked as an intern in my town’s public library. I spent many mornings there typing up educational programs at the head librarian’s computer, surrounded by just bookcases. The job was a lonely one because the library hours were sparse. One day, a man walked into the library and handed me a cup of cappuccino.

“Just thought you’d enjoy something warm,” he said with a smile, and disappeared through the door.

That one extremely simple act has stuck with me over the past few years as being one of the most genuine expressions of kindness.

So why not do something nice for a person at random? If you need advice on how to make someone happy, the following are some favourite ideas from Thank Goodness It’s Monday, including contributions from the comments.

1. Smile at a stranger
2. Put a quarter in someone’s expired meter
3. Pay for the person behind you at the drive-thru
4. Buy flowers at your grocery store and give them to the cashier on the way out
5. Call your parents to apologize for when you were a brat (especially if you have kids)
6. Recreate one of your first dates with your significant other
7. Put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror for your significant other, just to say I love you
8. For kids, eat ice cream for dinner
9. Smile as you’re holding the door open for themselves
10. Tell your boss that they’re doing a good job

Photo by iLoveButter

11. Tell your boss your co-worker is doing a good job
12. At the office, brew a fresh pot of coffee
13. Give flowers to the receptionist
14. Take a friend out for supper for no reason
15. Let the other driver take the parking spot you’re competing for
16. Give your friend chocolates, for no reason
17. Let your child pick what’s for dinner, and have them help you prepare it
18. Write a letter to a teacher who has influenced you
19. Buy someone a present, but don’t tell them who it’s from
20. Mow your neighbour’s lawn or shovel their driveway in the winter
21. Tell somebody in customer service that they’re doing a great job
22. Carry someone elses groceries to their car
23. Leave goodies in your mailbox for the mailman
24. Buy lunch for a homeless personally
25. Teach your kid the Chicken Dance

Community Connection

Feel like being generous? Share how you’ve made someone’s day. Also, check out the Passports With a Cause project, or consider giving some real meaningful gifts this holiday season.

Photo by stars.alive.

Sure, there are a few channels that offer programming that awakens and educates.  But are you actually watching them?  If you are like I once was, you’re glued to the drivel that will very possibly lead to the undoing of your mind. 

The End of My Life in TV Land 

The last thing I remember, I was sitting on my sofa mesmerized by one of E! television’s latest offerings, a reality show starring jammie-clad Hugh Hefner ruling with an arthritic, vein-laden hand over his houseful of flavor-of-the-season surgically augmented hottie-pies. I think the program was called Girls Next Door.  To my horror, I fell immediately in love with this post-modern-world household and was deeply disappointed to find myself delighted when another episode began airing immediately after the first.  I had found a new favorite TV show.   

Photo by dailyinvention

And I’d hit a new depth in the sinkhole that was my spare time.   

Fortunately, my cable company staged an unwitting intervention just a few days later when an errant worker mistakenly disconnected my service as I watched from a window.  I realized too late that my lifeline to the world of channel surfing was being snipped.  Running down the street after his van yielded me only lungs filled with exhaust.  My repetitive calls to reconnect service were handled by phony-voiced people saying no, he could not come back and simply reconnect me, I must go through the red-taped rigmarole of starting my service from square one.   

There was no way I was enduring the stupidity of that exercise.   

So for four years I existed on the piddly programming my pocketful of broadcast stations eked out, with the help of precariously balanced rabbit ears.  I only had watched television for a couple of hours a day previously but was stunned at the hole it left in my time.  Pleasantly stunned. 

I gradually and consistently lost interest in television until, finally, I would actually forget to turn it on for days, eventually weeks.  Then arrived June 12, 2009 – the date the United States entered the digital age.  And the date I hurled my television through the window.  I mean the date I turned it on to find it spurting forth only static. 
  
You don’t have to wait for an accidental intervention to save you from wasting your precious free time staring at a metal box on a shelf in your living room. Follow this six step program and shake yourself out of your TV trance now. 

Step I – Admit You Have a Problem.  If you pick up the remote before setting down your keys when you walk into your home, and if you routinely find your way from room to room after dark guided only by flickering lights and the echoing voices of people you’ll never meet, you probably have a TV addiction going on.  You need to get over this.  Admit it.  Now move on to Step II.
 
Step II – Withdraw.  Right Now.   Cold turkey is the only way to kick this habit.  Turning on the television for just a minute is like eating a peanut.  There is no way you’re stopping right there.  Give your TV to a friend, give it to a family member, sell it on Ebay, throw it away.  Just get rid of it.   Soon you’ll find happiness even when you’re not crumbling potato chips all over yourself while watching The Biggest Loser.

Photo by Mr.Thomas

Step III – Comfort yourself.   Surely you’ve got at least one more addiction going on.  Go for it.  Enjoy yourself.  For a time, losing yourself in another familiar and comforting entity can lend some necessary emotional support to keep you away from the one addiction you’re trying to kill.  It might be tricky not to let this take you over the way TV did.  Quickly, your comfort of choice can grow from your security blankie to your full-fledged secondary addiction.  Don’t allow yourself to get sucked in so deeply by your new habit that you won’t be able to emerge.  

Step IV  – Reconnect with the Real World.  You’ll likely be floundering around, wondering what to do with your life now.  Spend the new-found hours of your days cultivating your own friendships and relationships rather than vicariously living through your favorite TV people.  Such socialization can do more than help just you.  Give yourselves two thumbs up for luring your friends and family away from the flashing images on their own television screens. 
 
Step V – Relish Your Freedom.   As you continue to decompress, let yourself fly free in the absence of your nemesis.  Don’t piddle away the hours you’ve gained by surfing the Internet.  Engage in activities you love so that your life will be one of memories, not just one monochrome moment after another.
   
Step VI – Never Forget.   Ridding yourself one hundred percent from a habit can take years.  Don’t let water cooler talk and magazine covers at the grocery store pique your curiosity about what’s cooking in the lives of Jon and Kate plus their eight.  This is addiction.  Be prepared to fight it.  It’s not heroin, though.  You can do it. 

Now, welcome to real life.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What tips do you have to offer for breaking TV addiction?

Above: Various spices used in chai. Photos by Susanna Donato.

In our temperate North American climate, October means crisp blue skies, the sweet dusty smell of leaves piling up beneath trees, and of course, a burning desire for warm, spicy food and drink.

Nothing says “you’re home” in fall like a pot of something to warm you up. I love to draw that warmth from around the world: Fall is for chai masala.

“Chai” means tea in many languages, and “masala” means mixed spices in some Asian languages. In the world’s biggest coffee chain, a place where the littlest drink is “tall” and mixed lingos rule, “chai latte” is the international term for spicy tea with milk.

A warm cup of chai

In India, the person who makes and serves chai masala is known as a chai wallah. In areas where no master of chai is handy, you can do the job yourself.

Of course, you can stop into a café or buy a boxed, condensed version of chai. If you do so, expand your horizons by asking about locally available brews. (In Colorado, where I live, some cafes carry locally microbrewed Bhakti Chai, a fiery, spicy variety.) Or you can save money and gain insight by brewing your own.

Brew in Bulk

For years, my husband has made chai in large batches — about a half-gallon (2L). The recipe is flexible and easy to personalize: add more pepper and ginger if you like it spicy; more cinnamon and vanilla for a smoother, sweeter style. But the basics are:

Put a large pot of water to boil.

Toss in spices (refer to leading image): About 1/4 cup (approximately 30) green cardamom pods, a cinnamon stick or two, 3-4 star anise, about 12 cloves (too many will make it numbing), a few slices from a ginger root or a teaspoon of ginger powder, a teaspoon of black peppercorns, and a piece of nutmeg and/or a vanilla bean if you like.

Boil for 30 minutes to an hour. Your house will be infused with the good smell.

Tea brewing

Turn off the heat, add tea — 1/4 cup of tea powder, or about six black tea bags. Cover and steep 5 minutes.

Strain into a pitcher. Stir in a spoonful of vanilla extract and sweeten to taste.

To serve, heat gently with milk to taste.

The whole process takes about an hour, largely unsupervised, and you can keep the pitcher in your refrigerator for a few days, reheating as you like. Explore local markets to find spices in bulk — you’ll have a travel souvenir or a new local haunt, and you’ll save money, too.

Authentic Style

You can also boil the mixture together with milk for a strong, creamy drink that is much closer to real Indian chai masala. Caveat: India is still on my travel wish list, so feel free to chime in with your own recipes or tips if you know better! But I can guarantee this tastes fantastic.

You can crush or grind the same spices used above. Out of curiosity, I recently picked up a packet of masala chai mix at our local Indian market. The word online is that these pre-packaged spices might be stale, but this shop is well-regarded and busy.

This style is best made to serve immediately. Double or triple the recipe if you’re serving more than one.

Bring 1/2 cup of water to a boil.

Masala chai mix

Add 1/2 teaspoon chai spice mix (or to taste — our mixture’s ingredients begin with black pepper and ginger, so it is very spicy). Boil 1 minute.

Add 2 teaspoons of sugar and 1 teaspoon tea powder (powdered tea reportedly holds up better and produces better flavor than tea leaves when boiled vigorously like this; we had some Ethiopian tea powder on hand). Boil 1 minute.

Add 1 cup of milk. (Some swear by using only half-and-half or whole milk to be really rich and creamy.) Bring close to a boil.

When the mixture is almost boiling, remove it from the heat for a few moments. Then put it back. Repeat this process — a dance of almost boiling, removal, return close to the boil — 5-7 times.

Steep, covered, off the heat for two minutes.

Strain the mixture and enjoy.

Boiled chai masala is richer in taste and more expensive to make, with the milk or cream, not to mention the personal effort. You can make it while doing other kitchen chores — I’ve been known to brew it up while emptying the dishwasher — but it’s also wonderful to be contemplative about it. Mixing up this spicy goodness can be nourishing to the soul, as well as the body. Breathe it in, connect and enjoy. Namaste!

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Above image by Pedrosimoes7. Feature image by Lucas the Experience

The only thing that separates a real writer from a non-writer is writing. Do you put pen to paper, use a typewriter, on a computer? Then you’re a writer. If you don’t write, then you’re not.

You can tell yourself it’s more complicated, but it’s not. Want to be a writer? Write, even just ten minutes, every day. Done.

Some other tips to get you going.

When You Don’t Have Anything Specific To Say, Freewrite

Sit down and write for ten minutes without stopping. Don’t erase anything. Don’t edit. If you make a mistake, just move onto the next line and keep going. If you can’t think of anything to say, say that. If you feel stupid, write it down. I promise by the end of ten minutes, you will find something you like developing in front of you.

Do Away With Judgment

Good or bad mean nothing. The only purpose putting such labels on your writing serves is to slow you down and separate you from what’s on the page. If you’re having trouble with this, go back to tip one and freewrite.

Keep A Journal.

Photo byStarkos

Mine is a red, unlined Moleskine. In it, you’ll find, photos, drawings, to-do lists and various random thoughts. Your goal is to get things down down on paper.

Journals have two purposes. They become a repository of your ideas, somewhere to turn when you’re looking for something to write about. It also helps you shift from ideas in thought-only to ideas on paper. It’s all about practice.

Finish What You Start

Ok, so you’re writing. Now it’s time to finish something. It can be a short story, a poem, an new article. Just finish. Most writers doubt themselves at some point, and many allow their doubt to leave half-written works strewn about behind them. Truth is, it’s far worse to never finish then to write something awful. At least something awful is real, it has weight and meaning. The unfinished short story means nothing at all.

If you find yourself not-finishing, stop writing new things. Sure, put your notes in your journal, you can return to them later. But don’t sit down to work on anything new until you have finished something old.

Then you’re ready to publish, which is an entirely different game from the writing, and that, too, is much easier than you think.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

Spend some time at Matador’s Traveler’s Notebook to read tips, narrative and ideas from other writers, and don’t forget to join in the conversation by leaving your thoughts in comments. For hands-on instruction on how to become a travel writer yourself, check out our own Matador U.

Wedding photos by Philip Chang

I could write about how not to spend money on a wedding — getting married at City Hall or eloping to some far flung place. But this is for those who want to have a more “traditional wedding” without having to take out a second mortgage on their home.

Below are some tips on where and how you can save some cash in planning your wedding, and still make it the beautiful and classy one you always wanted.

Free cherry blossoms

1. Keep the guest count down

Do you really need to invite your third cousin twice removed’s little niece? Stick to those who you keep in touch with on a regular basis. If you haven’t broke bread with someone in over a year, it’s probably not appropriate for them to partake in your day. We kept the guest numbers down by limiting the invitees to immediate family and the closest of friends.

Yes, you may rub some people the wrong way, but this is your day. You have your reasons, and they should be respected.

To take that further, we split the wedding in two parts: ceremony/dinner and par-tay. Half the guests came after dinner to celebrate with us, which also helped keep costs down.

2. Make your own invitations

Another nice thing about keeping the guest count down is you need fewer invitations. This means you should have time to make and send them out yourselves. If you’re crafty like my wife, you can make unique and special cards. We included a blank page in the invitation and requested that the guests make it their page in our guestbook and to bring it to the wedding.

With the time they had we received some really thoughtful and colourful pages to insert into our guestbook. Much more personal than just a couple sentences and a signature, or, worse, drunken words of advice.

3. Use your contacts

If you think about it, you probably know someone who has some handy skills you could take advantage of. Maybe even a friend of a friend. An old high school chum who I occasionally ran into agreed to do our flower arrangements (it just so happened she is a florist). In lieu of payment, we invited her to the wedding.

Friends and family were also more than willing to chip in as they could, some coming to the venue early to help set up decorations and chairs. And speaking of venues…

Barclay Manor in Vancouver’s West End

4. Find a cheap venue

While the big ballroom with floor-to-ceiling glass and a panoramic view over the ocean is ideal, it’s going to be expensive. Find a place that doesn’t normally do weddings.

We scored a beautiful heritage house and struck up a nice little relationship with the events coordinator. We negotiated a great deal and had extra access to the venue for planning purposes and also cleaning up post-wedding.

5. Be your own DJ

Sorry DJs of the world, but you aren’t needed here. We sent out an email to our guests and asked them for song requests. I then mixed everything together myself with MixMeister. It was easy to use and it was fun putting it together, plus it makes a great memento. We still have the original file and dance to it on our anniversary.

At the wedding, you can play this mix from your iPod or laptop. We rented a mixing board and big speakers for party level music. We also got a dancing colour light.

Professional DJ for $1000 or this set-up for $80? You decide.

6. Don’t go pro

It’s not always a case of “you get what you pay for”. We’ve all heard the horror stories of professionals providing less than adequate service. But it also works the other way round. You can get some seriously good service for a discounted price.

Photographer: We found one just starting out in the biz and so was offering a deep discount while he built up his profile. He came with an assistant (with his own camera too) and was with us for eight hours.

Plus, he was willing to give us all the images he (and his assistant) took throughout the day instead of just a set amount of prints.

The “homemade” wedding cake

Videographer: Also a newbie, but as this was his first wedding he offered to do it for free to get his portfolio going. The end result was fantastic and he was extremely professional, polite, and took great care of us.

Caterer: Try a culinary school to keep your catering costs down. If you’re in Vancouver, check out Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts. My mouth is watering just thinking of the food they dished up that night.

We found a cheap and cheerful bartender off Craigslist, where we also found the photographer and videographer. Just make sure you meet with them at least a couple times to make sure you’re comfortable with them.

7. Make your own cake

This is not for the faint hearted, but you can save heaps here. Rather than a sugary, fluffy cake, use one you actually like. We used a tuxedo cake (from Save-On Foods) square base, with a round raspberry and white chocolate cake on top, offset in the corner for artistic purposes. And, of course, decorated it.

8. Find some good, cheap booze

Who says you have to spend over $20 a bottle for some good wine? We tested a bottle or two each week, which was fun in itself, and found a red (Chile) and a white (Germany) for around $10. Same goes for the sparkling stuff, no need for the Dom Perignon.

9. Finally, recoup the costs

I don’t care what people say, I think it’s perfectly fine to ask for cash gifts, especially when the guest knows where it’s going (i.e. travel funds). You can also mix it with a registry of sorts for things you actually need.

Other random things we did to keep the costs down:

We rented a white PT Cruiser — modern, classy AND cheap — and I asked a work colleague to be our chauffeur. We “pruned” the cherry blossom trees around town for some free and beautiful center pieces (do this under the cloak of night).

All unopened bottles of booze and mixers were returned to the liquor store and Safeway, respectively.

Also, Yvonne’s wedding dress was so last year. But it was also so not expensive. And it was so gorgeous.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

If you’d rather plan a destination wedding than go the traditional route, Matador has the Ultimate Guide to Planning a Destination Wedding.

And we’ll never leave you at the altar– check out 16 Places to Stretch Your Honeymoon Dollar too.

For those of you who have already passed this stage and are on the next phase, you’d best read the Expectant Mom’s Guide to Travel.

How about you? Do you have any wedding money saving tips to share?

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Photo: JasonTromm

Any member of the parrot (or parakeet) family is your best bet but before you rush out to your nearest pet store, you’ll need both time and money to spare; feathered friends require a huge amount of commitment and investment. Costing anywhere between $20 (a baby budgie) to $5,000 (a mature macaw), birds have a much longer lifespan than the average pet and some larger species will even outlive their owners.

They can also be loud and messy creatures and like a small child, will crave attention.

Photo: M e d a

The only way to be 100% sure that you are getting a bird that will talk is to buy a bird that already talks. However, mature animals may have existing behavioural problems (like an unruly adolescent) and this isn’t a good start for the novice. It’s probably best to look for a hand-fed baby so you can teach it yourself from scratch; this will not only be a great way to bond, but also improve chances that he or she will speak.

As there are several hundred different species of parrot, it’s important you do some research to find out which one suits your personality and lifestyle. Although bigger birds make impressive pets, they can be more stubborn and moody and are not the best choice for a starter bird.

Once you’ve made a decision, look for a reputable breeder or supplier. Parrots are delicate creatures– even a healthy looking specimen might be carrying some sort of disease. Buy from someone you can trust.

Key species that have the ability to ’speak’ include:

African Greys:

Known for their extensive vocabulary and cognitive skills, these are highly esteemed among the parrot family.

Amazons:

Have a good reputation thanks to their outstanding talking ability and make a reliable pet.

Budgies:

Small, affectionate and attractive, budgies are a great budget buy. With an average lifespan of 8 – 10 years, they may take a little more effort to train but can become incredibly proficient talkers.

Cockatiels:

Originally from Australia, cockatiels are the smallest member of the Cockatoo family. Known for their excellent whistling and imitation skills, with love and attention, they’ll take on an extensive vocabulary.

Conures:

What Blackbeard would’ve had, these come in an array of colours and are the joker of the pack. They are prone to the occasional screeching outburst and can nip but they love to play and cuddle and can make very rewarding pets.

Macaws:

One for the more experienced owner, Macaws have an excellent talking ability and form a strong bond with humans. They do require constant training to keep them under control and stop them from being excessively loud.

Quaker Parrots:

Their dull exterior hides a fantastic personality. Quakers can be impressive talkers and are capable of using words within 6 months. Their reasonable price and life expectancy makes them an excellent choice.

Ringneck Parrots:

Ringnecks are also a good option as they speak clearly and have attractive plumage.

Now comes the tricky bit: training.

Photo: Dawn Endico

Using the bird’s name or a few easy words to start (“hello”, “goodbye” and “peek-a-boo” are popular though rather unoriginal), speak enthusiastically in a happy and positive tone. Watch the parrot’s reaction and whichever word gets the most response, make that your first training word.

Birds learn to mimic through repetition so repeat the word as often as possible. Bear in mind that some birds can take months or even years to say their first word.

If you don’t think you are getting anywhere, try whistling as many birds find this easier than speech. Also, listen out for your bird mimicking the environmental sounds around your home, such as the telephone, doorbell, and alarm.

Confidence is also important in encouraging the bird to speak; if it feels unsafe, it won’t want to attract attention. Many parrots are shy and will prefer to talk when humans aren’t present so try moving the cage to a more protected area. On the other hand, another human often stimulates speech as the bird will compete for the owner’s attention.

If the bird is making unpleasant sounds or lots of noise, it may be unhappy. Like a child, pets need a good diet, a clean and safe place to live, toys to play with, and human interaction. Improve the environment and spend time training the bird to use more appropriate sounds.

Once the bird has mastered imitative speech, it’s time to move on to responsive speech, where you teach the bird to answer questions. While this takes a lot of practice and patience, the results are obviously pretty cool. But be warned: this can take years.

Whatever the clerk in the pet store tells you, there is NO guarantee your bird will ever talk. Birds need huge amounts of love, patience, and training. Even if yours never speaks a word (and some never will), don’t be disappointed. With all that time spent together, you’ll have made an intelligent and interesting (albeit silent) companion. At least they’ll agree with everything you say.

Community Connection:

Traveling with your pet? Check out our 10 tips for traveling with pets here.