Photo from Cat Belly Lovers, by skinnypopme

A great deal of Matador Network’s images come from the Flickr Creative Commons. Throughout our forays, we’ve come across some interesting photo groups.

Some groups are artistic, some are comical. Other groups make you scratch your head. Whatever the case, their content will keep you occupied for awhile.

Single Leaf Extravaganza – I think it’s the title of this group I find so delightful, like there’s a non-stop, 24/7 rave party going on, all focused on a single leaf. Makes me want to run through piles of raked leaves, toss my hands in the air and scream. But seriously, the leaf photography is top notch.

Photo from A Man’s Chest, by SFBart

A Man’s Chest – There’s no way I could pass up an opportunity to conduct some special research in a group like this. Personally I prefer to drool over the rock-hard abs, but how can you not appreciate the pecs? Damn. This group asks for G-rated pictures only, hairy or hairless man boobies are both acceptable.

Seagulls and Pigeons – Okay so maybe this isn’t a “weird” group for everyone, but I find it difficult to find beauty in these winged rodents. They pick apart my garbage when it’s on the curb and poop in my hair. If you truly want to root for the underdog, however, here’s your place.

Cat Belly Lovers - I was expecting to see dozens of groups dedicated to cats and dogs, but not one with such a perfectly defined mission. This group is literally meant for people who appreciate the “furry underneath of cats.” My initial reaction was “people are ridiculous,” but some of these photos are awesome.

Torn Jeans Ladies - This group’s goal is to bring back the fashionable statement of women in torn jeans, but really it’s just an excuse to gawk at women’s butts. Is it just me, or do most of these images not have torn jeans?

Photo from Faces in Places, by Sandy Austin

Faces in Places - My favorite group filled with hilarious faces found in inanimate objects. There’s everything from offset smiles to surprised taps, plus they have
a new book coming out!

Plastic Animals - Displaying photos of plastic animals acting like wild animals. The rules involve: no live animals (or dead ones), no stuffed toys, and no plastic humans or real humans in the photos. Kinda like being on a wild animal safari, except from the comfort of your bedroom. Some of the shots are actually terrific, like Iron Man holding his big white…chicken and the naughty ballerina kitty.

My Feet - No mystery here, people post pictures of their feet. I feel like some of these Flickr groups are a goldmine for fetish folk.

The Secret Life of Toys – A place where people post pictures of what toys are doing when people are not around… or just pictures of toys in general. The discussions are a lovely read, covering such topics as “Do your toys have crappy days?” and “Are some of your toys bullies?” Yep, my Cabbage Patch Doll regularly slaps around Barbie.

Photo from My Kid Ate This! by akatrya

My Kid Ate This! - Again with the urgent, flailing-arms-screaming group title. I first thought this was a group about weird things that kids swallow – like money or toys or candles – but really it’s dedicated to cute food that parents make for their kids. The food is seriously adorable, too.

Gay Wrestling – “Images of men wrestling that would apeal to a gay male audience.” It’s true, the pictures of men body piled against each other in the ring or with their legs wrapped around each other are pretty erotic. Especially in black and white.

Extreme Cross Dressing – I lied, this is my absolute favorite group for trannies crossdressing in extreme situations: “Up a mountain, on a trampoline – they’re extreme. In your living room – not extreme.” This Flickr group has stylish trannies everywhere, fashionably skiing on mountaintops or on the beach in hot-pink ballgowns. I only feel a little sad that some are better dressed than I am.

Community Connection

Share your strange Flickr groups in the comments, or check out Matador’s very own Flickr pool!

]]> http://matadorlife.com/extreme-crossdressing-and-other-fun-flickr-groups/feed/ 2 http://matadorlife.com/warning-this-science-textbook-teaches-evolution/ http://matadorlife.com/warning-this-science-textbook-teaches-evolution/#comments Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:50:26 +0000 Nick Rowlands http://matadorlife.com/?p=6249 Some school science textbooks contain such dangerous information that they should have a disclaimer added to them.

Designed by Colin Purrington from Swarthmore College, you can add these spoof disclaimer stickers to science textbooks that promote such “spurious” theories as evolution, gravity, and plate tectonics.

Below are some examples, and you can see them all here.

Picture modified from Textbook disclaimer stickers and Feature image by the mad LOLscientist

Apparently, the text of the sticker at the top left is taken directly from the Georgia Cobb County School District (un-ironic tagline: “A community with a passion for learning”).

The other stickers on the site (which can be downloaded as a PDF) were all made up.

Unsurprisingly, the site has come in for some flak. My two favorite comments by far are these:

Be gone with your foul pagan gravity. We ain’t haven’ it.

If you’re going to argue factually, then you will lose…In truth, facts can neither prove or disprove the unprovable.

So there you have it!

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What do you think of these textbook disclaimer stickers? Are they (as one commenter suggests) “Kinda meanspirited and… anti-religious” or are they totally spot on? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Some people are really good at payback. Consider Regretsy, the website run by April Winchill which displays and mocks all the terrible crap being sold on Etsy. Winchill nails the public humiliation revenge, with humor and harsh words when it comes to creations like the Eco Friendly Mountain Girl Barefoot Sandals and the Lion Tamer Jungle Bra.

Maybe you’re not the most creative person when it comes to mapping out a revenge plan, or maybe you’re more passive aggressive than Winchill. True, it’s hard to be original in a world hell bent on flaming bags of dog poop.

Or you could try my neighbor’s approach to getting even with me and my roommates for throwing a keg party. For them, pooping on our front stoop was the answer. Just a few nights ago, our house got egged. Some people can’t let go.

Photo by gingerpig2000

The world is filled with bitter people stung by the jerks of their past. The following sites make it easy: all you need is some extra cash and a real black soul.

Boxed Revenge

This site sends unusual boxed gifts to people who deserve ill treatment, like a double-fisted-drinking-party-animal wife, or a lazy, beer swilling, good-for-nothing husband.

Some of their products include:

Chocolate flavored laxatives – Despite the telltale packaging, this is a real sweet revenge.

Animal skulls – No fear, the disclaimer notes: “These are road kill or died naturally and found in the wild.”

Roadkill – If you have a spare $50 hanging around.

Horse crap and cow manure – Also available in super-size portions for $30 or more.

Dead flowers and dead bugs – For the emo kid in all of us.

An empty box – To represent the emptiness of the relationship. Poetic.

A stocking filled with coal at Christmas – The perfect holiday revenge!

Crab Revenge

The ultimate revenge (and my personal favorite), this website’s slogan is “Make That Bitch Itch.” Yep, this site sends live crabs to your enemy, where they will take up residence in somebody’s pubes.

Their packages include:

Photo by euthman

Green Package – The standard package, with just enough itch to do the job.

Blue Package – Three times the itch of the green package.

Red Package – The mother of all packages, this high end package is also known as the “F Strain.” This package is so effective, not even Permethrin will get rid of the itch.

The site assures that it’s legit, but apparently legal issues have prevented the owners from divulging too many details about the business. I’m dying to know who farms the crabs in the first place?

Community Connection

Do you think revenge is petty? How would you plot your payback? Share your evil details with us below!

In November 2009, Oprah Winfrey announced to the world that she was calling it quits with her talk show. The world stopped turning, and cities collapsed into the sea. 25 years of television stardom, and now she’s handing over her throne to someone else.
 
It’s fair game: anyone can submit a video testifying why they would make the best new talk show host. Browsing through over 3,000 video applications, the variety of faces and ideas and dreams are exhausting. The talent is endless. Unfortunately, so is the crap.
 
Then there’s this guy.
 
Zach describes himself as a “wheelchair bound lady magnet.” By the end of his video, I was forwarding the link on to all my friends and laughing my face off.
 

 
With over 3-million votes and counting, Zach stands a pretty good chance of stealing the torch from Oprah. Even if he doesn’t win, I’d gladly turn into any television show he decides to star in, because I’m pretty sure it’ll happen.

Community Connection

When television is more addictive than ever, and major networks are cranking out crummy content on a daily basis, can a guy like Zach give us something refreshing to watch? Share your thoughts here.
 

We want to share with you the process that gives birth to the articles on Matador Life. Each week, Leigh, Candice and I get together online for an epic chat to sort out the schedule for the following two weeks.

I’m not ashamed to say these sessions are one of the highlights of my week. Our chat is hilarious, and inevitably veers into all sorts of off-the-wall tangents. It often stretches to over 500 lines!

Here are some excerpts from the last few months that give a flavor of the sorts of things we cover. I’ve pared them down a lot – no-one wants to read a 500 line chat – and added a few links to relevant articles, but other than that I’ve left everything exactly as was originally typed.

Two things you need to know first. Candice works for a deep sea tech company whose tagline is “Go deeper, last longer.” No joke! And Andy is the Matador social media ninja, who deals with our twittering and facebookery.

Enjoy!

Leigh: You’ve been invited to this chat room!
   i think we’re all here now?
Nick: I’m here
   Candice hasn’t wooped yet though
Candice: woooo!!! it’s mandatory now
Nick: ah, there you are!
Leigh: sorry. one sec. we have guests staying adn they’re just heading out the door.
   brb
Nick: cool
   how’s you, Candice?
   still going deep, long and wet
   or whatever it is?!
Candice: hahahahahahahaha go deeper last longer! yes, i’m currently putting together some documentation for our seinefish netsounders. it’s really really thrilling
Nick: seinefish netsounders?
   you just made that up!
Leigh: hey. i’m back
Candice: play time over!
Leigh: ok. so how about we try to bang out the next two week.
Nick: don’t use words like that around Candice
Candice: hahahahahahaha

Candice has left

Photo by Simon Law

Nick: no, candice, come back
Leigh: so how about we work with this chick to expand on points 2 and 3 for a less bullet point article and a more Life LEssons type essay?
   lol. (sort of)
   candice? you back yet?
   nick?
   omg am i alone chatting online?
_____

Nick: How’s diving deeper, Candice?!
Candice: biggest sonar company in canada man! you should see our underwater robot
Nick: Now that is a chat up line
   Come back to mine and I’ll show you my underwater robot
Candice: LOL
Leigh: lol. yes. altho i had an idea for another article.
Nick: yup
Leigh: euphemisms for penis and vagina.
   underwater robot..
Nick: LOVE IT
Candice: baaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha
Leigh: anywya… let’s think on that, love on that.
Nick: great one to crowd source
   Imagine Andy sending out a tweet:

Photo by Catherine Sherer

Leigh: LOL.
   Matador Life has gone entirely adolescent!
Nick: What pet names do you and your partner have for your penis and vagina
   DM with details
Candice: LOL
Leigh: LOLOLOLOL
   should it be a photo essay?
Candice: absolutely!
Leigh: with little signs propped up on the nicknamed member.
Candice: nick, keep this convo for wheneer you write that “how things get done at Life” snack hahaha
Nick: you could do it with the team, anonymous, and have the readers try to guess whose is whose
Leigh: brb. gotta take puppy out so he doesn’t shit on the floor
Nick: oh my god we’ve descended into farce!
Candice: that’s not descending!
Leigh: jus tpost this entire conversation. no edits. nothing.
   would be perfect.
   with a title… this is who you trust to write about living your Life?
Nick: feels like the beautiful beginning of a new site, Matador Porn
_____

Leigh: shall we make it an entirely foodie week that following week?
   bolognaise. face products from your kitchen.
Nick: I really like the idea of a foodie week
Candice: semen pudding!
Leigh: DING DING DING
Nick: noooooooooooooo
   spotted dick
Leigh: and placenta.
   LOLOLOL
Candice: i can’t do a video but i can do a photo type thingy
   …not of semen p udding
Leigh: how about this… for the food beauty products..
   i’ll give you each a recipe. you try them out and take photos.
Nick: hang on, is this making and eating food, or putting cucumber in my ears
Leigh: putting cucumber on your ears.
   and covering your entire body with labneh
Candice: that would be hysterical
   i’m gonna get my male roomie to help me with the face masks

Photo by Candice Walsh

Leigh: DEFINITELY!
Nick: I’m gonna have a face mask party
Leigh: omg. i see another chatroulette article possibley.
Candice: hahahahahahahahaha
Leigh: lol. with whom?
Nick: anyone who’s willing to do absurd things in the name of writing and art
Candice: should be all males
Leigh: nick, can’t wait to see you covered in yogurt.
Candice: LOL
Nick: OH. My. God!
Leigh: what? what?
Nick: did I really say yes to that?!!
   (yoghurt)
Leigh: you will thank me for it afterwards.
_____

Leigh: man. is it a good thing we can’t all get together and go out for a drink.
   or a bad one.
Nick: it’ll happen one day
   and the world will never be the same again
Candice: getting together for drinks is on my bucket list
Nick: getting together for buckets is on my drinks list
Candice: LOLLLL nick
Leigh: what the hella re you two talking about?
Nick: not sure anymore…
Candice: buckets of beer
   i don’t even know
Leigh: so really, candice. do you actually drink that much?
Nick: yeah, do you really drink buckets of beer?
Leigh: there’s this whole myth around candice that she’s a huge drinker.
   but i don’t see it.
Nick: i think it’s a carefully managed image
Candice: you don’t have buckets of beer? not like, actual beer…bottles of beer in buckets. it’s a big thing
Nick: bottles of beer in buckets
   don’t you have fridges?
_____

Leigh: oks. thaks for the chat. we accomplished a shitload.
Nick: this has been an epic, and emotional, multi-chat
   my fingers are dead
Leigh: lol.
   i know. it’s a bit exhausting.
Candice: LOL
Leigh: cool. thanks nick. thanks candice.
   good getting this hammered out.
Candice: for sure!
Nick: x

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Come follow the Matador Life team on Twitter! Leigh: @thefutureisred, Candice: @candicewalsh, and Nick: @Pharaonick

Photo by author

When I first heard the story of Nudge, a gay dog, and his blind owner Ian Jolly being refused admittance to Thai Spice, an eatery in Australia, I was stunned. Apparently, the Thai Spice host misheard when Mr. Jolly demanded entrance for his “guide” dog, hearing “gay” dog instead. They assumed the dog had been “desexed.”

Still, at first I gave the restaurant the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was a joke. Or maybe, as with many restaurants, Thai Spice doesn’t allow dogs because of health code violations or because many people simply don’t feel comfortable watching a large mutt licking his genitals over lunch.

It’s Just Not Funny To Mr Jolly

As I read further, though, I began to realize this is no joke at all.

Photo by author

You see, it was not just one person involved in this horrible discrimination. The entire Thai Spice staff banded together to agree that this desexed – clearly another word for gay – dog should not be allowed to dine.

Thankfully, the miscarriage of justice was swiftly made right when the South Australia Equal Rights Tribunal ordered the restaurant owners to send an apology and $1400 in compensation to Mr. Jolly and his dog.

But the damage had already been done.

“I always have that fear now, when I go out,” says Mr Jolly. “I just want to be like everybody else and be able to go out for dinner, to be left alone and just enjoy a meal.”

Yes, because of this egregious incident, Mr Jolly will always live in fear.

Gay Dog Discrimination Hits Home: Is He Or Isn’t He?

I just got a new puppy. He’s only three months old now, but what if my puppy, my sweet little Manuel, is also gay? How would I handle the type of inexcusable discrimination faced by Mr. Jolly and Nudge?

Director Jason Bolicki produced a fabulous video detailing twenty guidelines to help determine whether or not someone is gay. These range from throwing like a girl, to being catty, to the love of dance.

The Case for Mani’s Gayness

He loves to dance. He’s a drama queen. He’s most definitely a whiny bitch and a mama’s boy. Mani adores being center of attention, and not a day goes by I don’t see him running through the yard with his most trusted gal pal, our daughter Lila.

The Case for Mani’s Heterosexuality

He does NOT pepper his dialogue with pop culture references, nor is he into water sports. He actually seems to hate water, as evidenced by his scrambling immediately from the tub every time I try to give him a bath. Thus leading to the next measurement of gayness. He is not at all clean. Mani is unbelievably stinky.

Some measurements were inconclusive. If he’s gay and we, his family, are the last to know, then how exactly would I even know that? I also have no way of gauging how dearly he values education, and I was simply not up to the task of testing to see if he likes a fist in his butt. I’m all for science, but one must draw the line somewhere.

Final results: Nine gay characteristics. Eight non-gay characteristics. Three inconclusive.

Darwin Was Wrong!

The more I research the topic, the more I find information that contradicts Darwin’s original premise of sexual selection. Males do not exclusively choose female animals for mating. In fact, there’s a very vibrant and vast gay animal kingdom in which over 450 species get it on with the same sex.

Photo by janet

Clearly, it’s too soon to know if our little Mani is gay, but if he is, that’s alright. If he prefers not to mount the nearest female in heat and instead chooses to partake in the penis fencing and genital massage of the bonobos, or the all-male orgies of the bottle nose dolphin, so be it. We will love and support him as he is.

If Mani is, in fact, gay, this presents us as parents with a unique opportunity to teach our now six year old daughter tolerance and equanimity. She will learn that sexual identity is not a reason to discriminate or deny marriage, joint health care or living will rights.

Perhaps this new era of the gay dog will usher in a time of greater peace and understanding. A time in which all people and animals will look one to the other and say, “You’re OK by me.”

Or maybe it’s a sign of the impending apocalypse? I don’t know. I often have trouble discerning between the two.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

What do you think about Nudge being refused entry to the restaurant? Do you have a gay pet? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo by Olaf

Superpowers are back in fashion. Every other film these days involves some mentalist in an improbable costume, using their even more improbable powers to save the day.

But we don’t have to visit the movies or open a book, or flick on the TV to find superpowers. They are all around us. Technology advances so rapidly that abilities once confined to comic books are becoming a reality.

Here are five biggies that – if not already with us — are most definitely in the pipeline.

Flight

Who doesn’t want the ability to fly? Every journey becomes both a shortcut and the scenic route, and everyone wants you on their basketball team. And if you fly really fast in the opposite direction to the Earth’s spin, you can even turn back time.

Photo by Mike Licht

Since World War II, a load of work has been done on jetpacks, mainly with military applications in mind. Although the US government has decided they are not practical, Jetpack International has developed a commercial product. They claim it can fly 11 miles at speeds of around 80 mph, at a maximum height of 250 feet. Boba Fett eat your heart out.

Even better, in 2006 British newspaper the Daily Mail published an article speculating that UK special forces might soon be flying into combat using “batwings”. These six meter wings would allow troops to glide up to 120 miles before deploying their parachutes. Presumably they also came kitted with a pre-recorded tape, blasting out, “Bam! Crash! Pow! Zap!”

Invisibility

Invisibility cloaks were once the preserve of dragon-slaying heroes on a quest for swag and damsels in distress. Now, scientists in Germany are close to developing one for real. They managed to cloak a tiny bump in a layer of gold, bending light around it and rendering it invisible “at nearly visible infrared frequencies.”

Before you start planning your new career as spy, bear the following in mind: the bump was already so small you needed a magnifying glass to see it, and the lead researcher has admitted cloaking larger items “is not really feasible” with this technology. So it’s a step in the right direction, but we’ll still need to pay for our cinema tickets a little while longer.

Time Travel

Our obsession with time travel is understandable: forwards in time for a look at the lottery results; backwards in time to warn ABBA their music will still be polluting dance floors some forty years later… no wonder we get all tied up in knots.

According to physicist Michio Kaku, time travel is both theoretically possible, and not so riddled with paradox as we’ve been led to believe. He reckons time is like a river that can develop whirlpools and fork into different branches.

Photo by AdamL212

So if you go back in time and meet your mother as a teenager, and she falls in love with you, then you’ve crossed streams into a parallel universe. In this universe, she is not – and will not be – your mother. Which naturally means it’s OK to sleep with her.

Kaku claims multiple universes co-exist, but you’re only tuned in to the vibrations from one of them. So even though dinosaurs from a universe where they didn’t become extinct are standing in your living room, you can’t see them!

If time travel really is possible, someone should go back and shoot the guy who invented bloody quantum theory. Put us out of our misery.

Pyrokinesis

From The Human Torch to Pyro, the only thing cooler than being able to fly is being able to set stuff on fire. Although spontaneous human combustion remains a controversial topic, the Pentagon is lending a helping hand.

Their latest toy is a non-lethal weapon called the Active Denial System, designed for crowd control and slated for possible use in Iraq. It fires a burst of high frequency microwaves, heating the target in exactly the same way as your microwave cooks your ready-made lasagna.

While victims don’t burst into flame, they do feel an intense burning sensation, which is meant to stop once they get out of the line of fire.

Fictional company Pyrotech are currently developing a handheld version, aimed at techno-cannibals who no longer have time to boil their missionaries in giant cooking pots.

Immortality

This is the holy grail of superpowers, the one that obviates the need for any other.

Who cares if you can’t fly? Just take a plane like everyone else, smug in the knowledge that you really don’t need to listen to the safety announcement. Can’t travel forwards in time? No worries. Being immortal necessarily means you have time on your hands. Just chill a while, and let the future come to you. And if you need to burn something, buy a box of matches.

Photo (not of T. nutricula) by marfis75

Sadly, given our almost universal fear of death, immortality is one superpower we don’t yet have. But help is at hand, in the form of… a jellyfish! Yep, Turritopsis nutricula appears to be the world’s only immortal animal. This tiny hydrozoan can reverse the aging process, transforming from its mature form into its immature form, and back again.

This can theoretically go on forever, which means the animal is biologically immortal. But it is still vulnerable to violent death, which is something the boffins will have to work on if we ever want to achieve true immortality.

But then again, would you really want to live forever? That’s a heck of a long time. Perhaps being able to fly is better, after all.

Community Connection

Which superpower would you like to see technology make possible? What would you do with it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Social media tools like Facebook and Twitter can be a great way to connect with awesome people while marketing your own writing, blog or business. If you do it right, you can form strong bonds with others and share your work with a wide audience.

However, if you do it wrong, you’ll alienate people and your reputation will suffer.

Are you guilty of social media douchebaggery? If you’ve done three or more of the following, the answer is “yes.”

Photo by micahb37

Discuss What You Had For Breakfast – Writing about the mundane parts of your day is an annoyance. This rule applies to constant updates on your baby, the hot shower you just had, and the colour of your poop.

Update Under the Influence – Sappy song lyrics and quotes of wisdom often find their way into someone’s Twitter feed or Facebook status update when they’re under the influence. Close the laptop and just back away.

Ignore Anyone Who Attempts Conversation – I’ll never understand why some people follow me on Twitter and then do not reply when I try to connect. Thanks jerks, glad to know I’m just a way to boost your audience.

Think You’re Internet Famous – “If you have to preface the word with ‘Internet’, you’re no celebrity.” There is nothing more obnoxious than a condescending douchebag who doesn’t want to give you the time of day because you’re a newbie and therefore not worthy of attention.

Brag About Your Fitness – If you spend five hours a day at the gym and then come home to update your status about it, you’re probably a douchebag who walks around the gym flexing your muscles more than actually working out.

Photo by Mykl Roventine

Self-Promo All the Time – You know you’re awesome, but keep it to yourself. Sharing your work with your followers is fine, just make sure you share links from other people also. It’s like having good table manners.

Be a Spammer – You’re not going to miss out on anything big if you shut down your social media programs for awhile. Let people miss you.

Share Your Heartbreak – Stop whining to the world, clean up your act, and get back out into the game. This refers to all other types of “over-sharing” as well, i.e. job woes, self-image issues, and your busy life.

Community Connection

Find out how to be a social media pro and Twitter ninja.

Photos courtesy of Moustache Hunt Appreciation Society

All her friends photos seemed to be variations of the same pose. Then it hit me. Every one of these photos contained somewhere a person with a fabulous, bushy, brushy, crazy moustache.

Yes, the Moustache Hunt Appreciation Society Facebook page boasts image after image of these wonderful bushy things that seem to be some sort of halfway house between clean shaven and a full beard.

I immediately became a Facebook Fan, then contacted Travis Crockett, the creator of those lovely photos that gave me such enjoyment.

Moustaches are weird, says Crockett, it appears they serve no practical purpose. As a fashion statement, their popularity peaked in the 70’s and has been in decline ever since. With the advent of Movember, it seemed that perhaps moustaches were making a comeback, but only for one month a year.

However, when I met Vaughan Grandin – founder of the Moustache Hunt Appreciation Society — in Paris, late 2008, it became apparent that moustaches are still fashionable in some parts of the world all year round. Moustache hunting was born.

Moustache hunting began as a fun group activity, during a tour of central Europe, to keep Crockett amused when moving between different tourist attractions. Now hunters hail from everywhere. Bavaria, Italy and Spain all prove fruitful ground for the hunt, although Turkey tops the list with a “the thicker the better” attitude toward moustache sporting.

Luckily, you don’t have to travel far to be part of the hunt. Pick up a camera and join the club from wherever you live.

Moustache Hunting Rules Are Simple

Spot an exceptional or interesting moustache and approach with caution. Then with the aid of a wingperson photographer, position yourself, as the hunter, as close as possible without alerting said moustache to your presence.

For a “Mo shot” to be accepted by the Moustache Hunt Appreciation Society, the moustache must be in plain view with the hunter clearly visible in the photograph. Most important, the subject must not be aware that it is being photographed for its moustache.

The best hunters are able to further enhance shots by posing, which involves placing the index finger across the top lip or simply pointing to the moustache region of the face. Other qualities that can make a mo shot standout are proximity of the hunter to the prey, when the shot also contains a scenic or famous background or when the subject mo is making eye contact with the camera, usually resulting in an hilarious bewildered expression on the part of the mo owner.

I managed to take my first Mo shot on a bus in Zurich. Do I get extra points for bringing my child into the picture?

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

What are the best places in the world for moustache hunting?

Photo by rick.

One Poll recently surveyed 4,000 Brits to determine their most preferred scents. Among the top 20 are freshly baked bread, vanilla, fish and chips, bacon frying, a freshly lit match, Petrol, and rubber tires.

Much of our smell preferences may have to do with our earliest impressions, whether they’re good or bad. According to ScienceDaily, we associate certain memories with certain smells, provoking feelings of nostalgia and comfort.

Of course, since we are all individuals, our past experiences help shape how we remember certain events. Happy childhood memories, for example, are associated with pleasant smells.

However, this list varies for the sexes. For men, new-baby smell ranks at number 18, while frying bacon sits at seventh and Petrol is at 12th. Yes, the mouth-watering, sultry smell of pig frying in a pan is more alluring than that adorable, indescribable scent you draw in from the top of a baby’s head.

Photo by misteraitch

So what does this mean for men? Are fathers less likely to become attached to their child than mothers? Should men more actively pursue forming a bond with baby?

Men, here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Give a midnight bottle – Be there as soon as baby awakes, taking a heroic stance over the cradle with bottle in hand.

2. Change diapers – That’s one smell that should inspire some strong scent memory.

3. Be there for a cold or fever – Claim the role of fierce protector.

4. Take a bath together – Few things are more fun than bath playtime for two, plus rubber ducky.

5. Be a texture board – Let your baby tug your beard, poke your eyeballs or stick a finger in your nose. There’s lots of terrain to cover.

My solution? A baby powder scented with the flavour of bacon. Just keep your baby out of the sun.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Want more fun? Make your life incredible and amazing with bacon, or share your most treasured scents with us in the comments below.

Photo by Foxtongue.

I didn’t realize I was being threatened until my coworker approached me at my desk, rolled out my office chair, and delivered a kick to my shin. She then announced to the entire office that it was Kick a Ginger Day, and I spent the remainder of my afternoon periodically darting glances over my shoulder.

(To be fair, the kick from my coworker was more like a foot nudge, and all my other coworkers are male and didn’t want to be accused of beating a woman.)

This phenomenon started with the famous South Park episode, and then exploded into a national event which inspired the Facebook group “Kick a Ginger Day” (no longer in existence, apparently) with nearly 5,000 members. For some reason, kids took this idea a little too far.

In an effort to avoid violence, some mothers even made their children stay home from school on Friday. Other kids were prepared to fight back.

The teen who created the Facebook group was actually investigated by the RCMP in British Columbia for promoting hate and violence. Some kids even ended up with bruises. I’ll be the first to admit Gingers are often unattractive — take Carrot Top, for example — but certainly nobody deserves a drive-by egging from morons yelling “Gingers suck!”

Photo by fotologic

The Ginger Solution

Is this whole thing a gross exaggeration? Maybe, but I still recall the time from childhood when I overheard the public health nurse whisper to another woman: “I hate seeing kids with red hair, it seems so cruel.” Never mind the fact I haven’t had my tonsils removed because a doctor once told me redheads tend to bleed heavily during surgeries, thus setting me on a path of total terror when stepping foot into hospitals.

Fortunately, there are some kind, open-minded souls willing to take action to defend the Ginger nation. Kick a Ginger Day has appropriately been replaced with Hug a Ginger Day, promoting love and peace and happy squeezes all around the world. So next time you see a Ginger pass by, don’t shudder or gasp in horror at our translucent skin and freckled complexions. Reach out, my friends. Embrace.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Ginger Matadorians: how have you overcome Ginger discrimination?

Feature photo by Breathindigital. Above photo by Tambako

According to statistics provided by the dating website Beautiful People – where you must be rated by other members and found attractive enough to join – the British are uglier than pretty much anyone else on the planet.

Yes, the Polish, Russians and Germans seem to give the British a run for their money, but British topped the pops as not only being dipped in a bath of fug, they are truly beyond repulsive. A whopping 85% percent of British women and 90% of British men were rejected by members of the opposite sex for inclusion in the dating pool.

Even the British seem to agree.

Says RickyBee in a comment to a similar story on TVNZ:

We’re mostly heinous. It’s a combination of things: our miserable faces, horrific school food, the weather, an addiction to out of town shopping malls, scraped up dog-burgers, chips, litres of coke, complaining, a big streak of nastiness and stupid hair”

Or as Matador’s resident Brit Paul Sullivan says, “I am a dirty minger.”

Leave it to the British to come up with a word for ugly that comes from the Gaelic word for septic vagina.

Binge Drinking A Recurring Problem

Looking more deeply into the problem, it may also have to do with the massive binge drinking the British have so desperately tried to eradicate in recent years by closing pubs early or banning loud music

Not simply because of the toll consistent binge drinking takes on the body or the many nights spent face down in a ditch, but because Britain is a country with a permanent case of beer goggles. There’s no real need for Britons to spruce up their appearance in order to, as we Americans like to say, get some.

How Can You Be One of Them?

To see what the British are up against, I took a quick mosey off to Beautiful People and browsed through photo after photo of the most beautiful people in the world in order to devise a few tips to help you gain acceptance into this elite club.

For Men: All photos should be shirtless with rippling chest shaved and well greased. Always pose with the ever attractive “thumbs up” sign.

For women: Your breasts or hair – whichever feature is better — should be the main focus of your photo. Make sure to pout for the camera.

Both sexes can be greatly helped by wearing sunglasses or making sure photos are slightly blurry and taken only from the neck up.

Oh yes, and one final tip? Don’t be British.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

The definition of beauty changes greatly from person to person. It can be mind over matter. Or beauty can be best when at its most pure and natural. Other times, our attempts to make ourselves more beautiful backfire, and we find the opposite of what we want.

What does beauty mean to you?