Feature photo: If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve incorporated the Internet into your daily routine.
As a full time technical writer and a part-time travel writer, a great deal of my life is online. My email is often the first thing I check in the morning, and the last thing I shut down at night. There are times when I get panicked if I’m away from the computer for so long.
For example, as I’m writing this on my lunch break, the office’s Internet is down. I keep sporadically refreshing my browser, just in case I miss something important. Like an email announcing the implosion of the universe.
The same goes for writing online. I spend so much time talking to Matador Life’s editor Leigh Shulman that our work chats eventually lead to men discussions or stories about the tadpoles in the backyard of her garden. I even know the color of her new couch. Red, custom made.
We editors are all spread out across the globe, so the Internet is really our only option.
But the world doesn’t stop when you’re offline. I came to this realization last week, when I had planned on devoting my entire Sunday afternoon to catching up on work. But the day was uncharacteristically beautiful, the first hint of spring, and I was aching to get outside. My roommate Renee and I went for a three hour hike instead, we ate ice-cream and sat atop Signal Hill looking out at the Atlantic Ocean. I thought, “These moments are the kind you live for. Not the ones sitting in front of a computer screen.”
While it’s impractical to cut out the Internet entirely, here are a few ways to cut back on your Internet addiction.
Understand your offline relationships are the most important.
I like to think the people I’ve encountered over the past few months are my friends. They’re an amazing support network, a community of like-minded people. But it’s important to nurture the “real life” relationships, the people who have been there from the beginning. The kind of friends who will bail you out of the drunk tank, or lend you some money when all you can afford to eat is canned soup. This especially applies to family members.
Take time everyday to enjoy moments with friends and family. If you’re like me, working from 9-5, you spend most of your life with colleagues. Sanity needs to be preserved.
Make time to connect with Internet friends offline.
Photo by xiordashxIf you’re connecting with so many people online, actually make the effort to meet up with them in real life. Meeting someone for the first time offline is more than a little intimidating, but you really can’t tell what kind of a bond you actually have until you’re face to face. Attend a Travel Blog Exchange, book a suite apartment with a bunch of travelers and party until daylight. Or crash on someone’s couch via Couchsurfing.
Resist fancy phones with data packages.
I have purposely refused to buy an iPhone simply because I know I’ll be checking my phone constantly for texts and Facebook messages. Sometimes I find myself out with friends, checking my emails. Why? What is the hurry?
You’ll end up being that douchebag, the one with his/her nose buried in a phone being too arrogant to participate in real conversation.
If you’re a traveler and you need your phone to get work done, this may not work for you. But at least limit your phone time. Buy a more restrictive phone package, or simply place it in a drawer far from sight for a period of time each day.
Have an unplugged, offline day.
One whole day, sun-up to sun-down. Think you can handle it? Make a big breakfast, finish some laundry, run some errands, join a friend for a cup of tea, read something from the stack of books on your nightstand, go for a jog, sit outside in the sun. Life really does happen beyond the computer.
Find other ways to connect with people.
Facebook, instant messenger, and email are the most popular methods of communication between me and my real life friends. It’s convenient and quick, and a great way to communicate with several people at once.
But draw the line somewhere. Instead of instant messaging a friend to ask if they’d like to go for a walk, pick up the phone instead.
But draw the line somewhere. Instead of instant messaging a friend to ask if they’d like to go for a walk, pick up the phone. Show up unannounced at their door, if you don’t mind being that annoying “pop-in” person.
Don’t be available all the time.
This is my biggest issue. At my office, we use the Internet and instant messaging freely while working. Some days I get people messaging me to chat, and then they get furious when I don’t reply. It is absolutely necessary to separate work time from personal time. If you keep socializing with the outside world at work, you’re asking to be fired.
The same goes for phones. I’ve had several people over the years say, “Why don’t you ever answer your phone?” Sometimes I don’t want to. It’s a choice, and it should be respected. Also, I may or may not like you and would rather not say it to your face. Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions.
Write a list of everything you used to do before you were addicted to the Internet.
I find it difficult to imagine exactly what I used to do with my spare time, but I feel it involved a lot of reading and letter writing. If you put it all down on paper, you’ll get a good idea of just how much time you’re wasting.
Seriously, if you have a real Internet addiction, get help.
There’s actually oodles of information for people who are addicted to cyber-sex and Facebook. If you’re drawn to whipping out your genitals on live webcamera in front of an audience, you should probably heed real, professional advice.
Not convinced these ideas will work? Try a web application that will help monitor your Internet time. Ironic, no?
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28 Comments... join the discussion!
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Oh dude, Leechblock is a GREAT find, thanks for that! EXACTLY what I need.
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I’m so a slave to the internet but when you work in IT it becomes a necessity. Throw in a helpful sprinkling of geek and a love for this whole travel blogging game and well I really am the internet’s bitch.
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I have no idea what I did before the internet. That was a very long time ago, my friend
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This post actually inspired me to call up a friend this weekend instead of shooting her a facebook message to get together. Great tips, Candice. I am still so internet addicted.
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Thanks for writing this Candace! Such a good reminder for when I get addicted to my blog.
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Ta, Candice. Great as always.
And ah, a subject close to my heart, this one. However much the Internet has helped my writing career in the long term, it’s a daily distraction that never fails to nibble at least an hour off my productive schedule.
At the risk of shamelessly plugging something I’ve written, which I’m about to do shamelessly and pluggingly, my fave approach has been to “kill the world” via either software or hardware shut-offs:
http://www.mikesowden.org/feveredmutterings/destroying-the-world
When you’re physically preventing yourself from being distracted by “you’ve got mail” or “1 reply @ you” windows, it’s easier to think about everything else, and all the other points (new appreciation of relationships, being able to think clearer about offline stuff) are suddenly so much easier. At least I’ve found, anyway. (Willpower? What’s that, then?).
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The Internet is a gateway drug, and twitter is crack! Been trying to take a day off myself, once a week, but it’s hard – shakes, palpitations, the works ; )
Funny story: I recently started using lastpass to generate and store all my passwords, so I have no idea what any of them are. Can’t check email, twitter etc from my phone anymore. So what do I check, bloody texts from last night! Thanks, Candice!
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This is sort of the conundrum of being location independent, isn’t it?
I spend all my work hours online, logistic, meetings, even going occasionally to the Twitter water cooler for a quit chat away from work. Sometimes, I even forget that I’m not actually spending time with people in real life. And it’s really easy to stay at home/office attempting to get to the end of that to-do list instead of going out and spending time with people I could actually recognize outside of a profile pic.
Now add to that I use the internet to connect with family and friends from all over the world once I’m done working.
An additional aspect of this for me is that my ‘real life” is in Spanish. When I don’t go offline enough, I don’t practice enough and my ability to communicate slows down. Which can make it even easier to sink into the online world.
On the other side, though, it has made Spanish a trigger language for relaxation. While my brain does get tired with this second language, it allows me overall to mellow out and completely separate.
Interesting issues you raise, here, Candice. Because with television addition, you can completely cut it off if you so choose. That’s not so easy with internet. So you have to regulate.
It’s also important, I think, that you bring up real addiction. So many of us joke around about addictive behaviors, yet when they actually happen, they’re easy to dismiss.
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I used to be (and still am, though to a lesser extent) the exact same way about my phone. I ignore calls/texts all the time. I’ll deal with it when I feel like talking to you! On an almost daily basis I think to myself that my BlackBerry was the worst decision I’ve made in the last year (until I realize that being 21 involves many poor life choices). It’s one more reason to be excited about my next trip — cutting off the fancy data plan and going back to my ultra-low-tech travel phone.
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Ironically, I read this while sitting on a bus doing 60 mph down the freeway towards Sea-Tac. It really is a sickness and we need to check ourselves once in a while.
Last night I was going down memory lane, sorting through some old shit at my parents’ place. I found these HANDWRITTEN letters from a highschool friend when she moved to London for a few years after graduation (mid-late 90s)…in one of them she asked me “do you have an email address?”…in that tone of, are you using this new fandangled internet thingy?
I have one suggestion if you want to get off the Internet for some time. Go to Cuba! It’s not easy to find and when you do it’s slower than dialup. I used it for about 3 hours total in 5 weeks.
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Hehe Carlo, Leigh and I had a conversation last night about the handwritten letter and how emails/chatting lacks the same intimacy…the effort and care that goes into a handwritten letter is pretty significant, y’know?
Nancy, I’m glad you called your friend!
Nick, I seriously check that site 10 times a day. Gawd.
In other news, I really, really need to start taking my own advice.
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Love Carlo’s advice- seriously, go to Cuba. If you can get the Internet at all, it will be so damn slow you’ll get annoyed and go out for a walk on the Malecon– or a cycle around the island.
This is a great piece, Candice. I’m (slowly) working my way to Internet-free Sundays.
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Both amusing and worrying at the same time. That’s what I miss about good old internet-free days, when social interaction was much more real and physical. But imagining life without the internet – that’s an impractical thought and we all know it.
Thanks for your awesome suggestions, I am gonna unplug right now and head to the city centre for a walk!
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Hmm… I’m actually reading this in bed on my iPhone, as Twitter is generally the first thing I check in the morning –before I even get out of bed to pee. Sick sick sick…
What is “outside?” It sounds scary…
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Needed and appreciated.
I am not addicted to the internet but i do need to find a more balanced place for my online pursuits… one day i will feel on top of it all, firing on all cylinders than the next i will clam up and not want to even look at my computer….ya know what helps?
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I wouldn’t say I’m an addict, but I probably spend or waste more time online that I should. I can leave the tv off for days, but I go online a few times a day. Luckily at work we don’t have the internet, which is a bit archaic… most people don’t believe us when we say we can’t email them, we have to fax.
I’ve already downloaded the leechblocker Benny mentioned. I think this will come in handy.
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Hahahaha, I’m glad I inspired some people to “get out there”! Woooo! Josh, sunshine is THE ultimate cure.
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This post was hard for me to read because I’m currently wrestling with my own cyber versus flesh-and-bones demon. Having lived mainly abroad for the past three years, I’m finding that more and more of my friends are collected from different parts of the world and are only reachable via the internet.
When I get depressed (in a new place, without friends is often the case) I immediately turn to the internet. This is where my friends are. Sure, a good Skype call with a friend in Canada or a Facebook chat with a friend in New Zealand can help to bring me out of the dumps, but by ‘visiting’ my friends that way, I’ve fallen into the rut of seeking solace online, which quickly spirals into hiding from the outside world, for the fear of what venturing out alone will bring.
Meeting up with a fellow Couchsurfer or chatting with a stranger in a pub downtown certainly helps, but I find this kind of human interaction is no substitute for talking to my tried and true friends.
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I hear ya Hannah, and no doubt the Internet is great for that sorta thing. But like you said, it’s making you “hide” from the world. Even unplugging to give yourself some alone time is beneficial, I think.
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Is there a “internet anonymous” yet? Perhaps one day there will be. 1. Before you turn on your computer, promise yourself you will meditate for 1/2 hour, call one old friend and one new one (call as in speak to) , make a date to meet a friend for a one on one date – coffee, a walk… within the next week, write a letter old fashioned style or a post card and send it in the mail. 2. it is possible that all the people I see in all our coffee shops here in my city are hiding from themselves. 3. Go play outside!
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Hi Candice,
I don’t feel myself fully addicted to Internet. Still, sometimes I feel terribly lost without it. People like me take their virtual lives equally seriously as the ‘real” lives. And in my case, the gap between the virtual and the real worlds is much narrow. But yes, in my part I keep my list of contacts very limited, and try to spend quality time with them, via mails or social networks. Since most of my social network contacts are real life friends who moved out to different parts of the world, meeting up in real time means another school reunion.
However, as you said, I do feel (at intervals) that I should stop the internet and turn on the television, or try to finish reading the book I started reading a few months ago. So if you keep getting such warning by yourself, I believe, there is no reason to panic as long as I take such warnings seriously.
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“Us editors are all spread out across the globe, so the Internet is really our only option.”
That should be, “We editors…”
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This is a program for Windows that locks your computer after a certain number of hours per day:
http://www.softwaretime.com/↵ -
“Us editors”?? Really, it drives me nuts–no matter how interesting the post or article, why is an editor allowed to ignore the rules of grammar? Much more powerful is the writing that uses the language well!
Thanks for letting me address my little peeve.
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Calm down, we’re allowed to make mistakes too. Thanks for the note. I loves when people leaves me comments.
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I never make mistakes and I resent your implication that you did about these topic, Candice.
My attorney will be contacting you in touch about this issue. I don’t want to take these further, but I feel propelled.
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Propellerhead!
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