Six Quick Tips For Vacationing With Your Significant Other

04/3/09  Print This Post Print This Post    8 Comments   Popular   Written by Tom Gates
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Photo by Niko Villegas

Be it a dirty weekend or a thirty-year anniversary, here are a few tips for making it through tribulations that won’t make the slideshow.
Drop Bombs Elsewhere

You’ve downed the seafood platter at The Chowder Pot and important body parts have gone off autopilot. Make for the lobby bathroom instead of the place where you might have shower sex in two hours.

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Alone Time

The brochure pictures are a lie. You cannot spend seven days on a beach, looking suggestively at your girlfriend’s lips. Agreeing to a break in the day will probably come as a welcome relief to her as well – she was hoping to take a long bath and shave her legs anyway.

Be A Little Silly

Suggest picking the ugliest car in the rental lot. Walk through Disney playing a game of “Is he gay or just German?” Romance isn’t all flowers – it’s remembering the spark that you had before the dog started sleeping in your bed.

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Guidebook Highlights

Take two highlighters along for the trip, one color for each of you. Go nuts on the guidebook with your color and have Lewis mark the things that he’s interested in. Overlap makes for easy planning, as well as a good chance to re-learn the color wheel.

Be Aware Of Annoying Ticks In Tedious Scenarios

The bus is crowded, your pits are wet and you just want to be back in your room. Prime Time Cranky. Your boyfriend Brett breaks into a fit of whistling, breaking out a Creedence medley right there in 16B. You keep quiet but add this to column of negatives that you’ll save for tomorrow’s overdue vacation fight.

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“Whatever You Want To Do”

The kiss of death for anyone in a relationship that is not dominated by one Type A: How many couples have had dinners full of silent resentment because one person didn’t say that there just weren’t in the f’ing mood for f’ing Mexican again?

Stories, please! Maybe share a little dirt? We’re curious about what things drive have driven you to “the bad place” on vacation, as well as any advice that you can offer for going into a trip with your +1.


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About the Author

Tom Gates

Tom is the editor of MatadorLife. He's currently taking a lap of Earth, living in 12 countries over 12 months in 2009, all the while documenting this trek in a book to be called Wayward. He is also pretending to be a third person right now and is obviously writing his own bio. He knows that you knew that, despite the deft maneuvering of pronouns.

8 Comments... join the discussion!

  • Julie replied on April 3, 2009

    Tom- If I weren’t married and straight, I’d be so in love with you.

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  • Pulkit replied on April 4, 2009

    I still am. :)

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  • Hal replied on April 4, 2009

    My wife and I suffer from the “No, whatever YOU want to do” syndrome. After circling all the restaurants five times, somebody’s gotta pick one, damnit!

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  • Benjamin replied on April 5, 2009

    We’re playing “is he gay or just German” in a cafe in North Beach, San Francisco right now. I’m 0-2. I should’ve gone with German. Tom, you’re fkcn hilarious!

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  • Turner replied on April 6, 2009

    “Whatever you want to do…”

    I’ll have to keep that one in mind and try to at least make a persuasive suggestion.

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  • Kelly replied on April 21, 2009

    The “whatever you want to do” is a big trip spoiler, if anything because you just end up sitting somewhere doing nothing.

    But I also find that if one agrees to doing something without talking to the other, it can be just as bad. Can’t say no in front of your friends after all, so the fight just gets postponed.

    The only other issue I’ve seen is whining, especially when both are you are having a difficult time. Luckily it didn’t hurt us when we went hiking. Our longest day (lasted over nine hours hiking over a mountain), we both struggled and whined but not at the same time, otherwise it would have killed us.

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  • Andy Jiggs replied on May 10, 2009

    From experience, Alone Time is a must.

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  • Rochellita replied on May 22, 2009

    Oh yes, on an extended trip, the alone time is a definite must… I’ve also found that not always staying in the cheapest place possible also helps. Sometimes it’s nice to sleep on crispy clean sheets, use showers where you don’t have to wear thongs in the shower, and not feel like every time you make nookie that you’re having a nasty one-night stand in a motel… sometimes the mind needs a little jogging to remind yourself that your boyfriend isn’t always sweaty and in cargo pants with a sunburned nose and cheeks..hehe.

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