For every Corvette there was an Edsel. For every Mustang a Pinto. And for every Nissan Pathfinder there was a Pontiac Aztek. Matador examines the open road’s current eyesores.
Ford Focus
A car for the chronically ugly. The Focus has undergone several unfortunate redesigns through the years since its introduction, but like your Aunt Flo and her endless makeovers, Ford hasn’t yet found a cure for its unfortunate appearance. It looks like the car can’t decide if it’s a sensible sedan or a sporty rally car, so it tries to look like both and fails miserably.
Hyundai Matrix
Finally, a vehicle for those who find mini-vans too intimidating. The Matrix profile includes a bizarre uneven window line that makes it look like it was pieced together from spare car pieces from the junkyard. It would probably be nicer looking if it had been. The vehicle of choice for retirees and their groceries.
Chrysler PT Cruiser
You’ve got to hand it to the PT Cruiser. This ugly bastard has been around for a long time and endured years of ridicule for its harebrained, retro-inspired design. Yet, here we are, on the heels of Chrysler declaring bankruptcy, and the Cruiser refuses to go away. If there is a nuclear apocalypse that wipes out all civilization, the only things that will survive will be cockroaches and PT Cruisers.
Ssang Yong Rodius
The Koreans have gotten into the hideous car act with the Rodius. This car has an identity crisis. The front grille looks like a 90’s minivan and the back end, well, I don’t even know what to say. It features an inexplicable diagonal panel that cuts it in half and makes it look like the designer got tired and just plugged the back of an RV onto the Rodius so he could move on to his next triumph.
Smart ForTwo
Hooray, my car is “smart.” It’s also a source of laughter for every other driver and pedestrian within 100 yards of it. Not only does the ForTwo (see what they did there?) look like a matchbox car, it’s about the size of one and won’t offer much protection in a crash, so not only is it an ugly car but a potentially hideous coffin.
Fiat Doblo
Perhaps a bit incredulous themselves, Fiat asks what made the 2008 Doblo popular, and lists “reliable technology, thoughtful design, and excellent technology” as the reasons. Thoughtful design? It looks as though they’ve added windows to every available surface of a delivery van.
Mini Clubman
Mini has decided to take the most distinguishing selling point of their Mini Cooper and throw it in the trashcan. They’ve stretched it out, haven’t really made any proportional adjustments, and called it the Clubman. Think of it as the stretch limo of ultra-compact cars, which is sort of like having a Mickey Mouse Rolex.
Toyota Prius
Yes, by driving a Prius you are minimizing your impact on the environment. This is a good thing. Cruising around in a vehicle with the personality and sex appeal of a dustbuster is not a good thing. Every time I see a Prius I think of the automated transports of old science-fiction flicks like Logan’s Run or Total Recall. This is also (probably) not a good thing.
Morgan Aero 8
After I got done laughing out loud, I decided that the Morgan Aero 8 looked like a cross-eyed basset hound. The best part about this monstrosity is that the base price is just under $130,000. Good news is that with every new Aero purchase they throw in a free monocle and top hat. It’s heartening to know that there are still rich people out there who will ignore a luxury item’s repulsiveness and waste money on it anyway. There is hope for our economy after all.
Fiat Multipla
Possibly based on a tadpole and easily the ugliest car on our list. This car fills the beholder with a combination of pity and rage; pity because no other cars will hang out with the ungainly Multipla, and rage because someone, somewhere made money from this blunder. Holds the distinction of being the only car on the list that needs a nose job.
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17 Comments... join the discussion!
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Freaking hilarious. Nice picks.
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That diagonal panel on the Rodius makes it look more like a hearse than anything else, no?
Gotta stick up for the new model Prius, though. Pretty slick, in my book.
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The whole idea behind mass-produced car design is to be ugly – and then sell you a new kind of ugly that makes last year’s ugly look, well, ugly.
Surprised you left the Hummer H3 off the list – it’s ugly in more than just appearance.
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Great list– and agreed with priehl re. the Hummer. And what about the Scion? It’s just hideous!
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Fiat is supposed to save Chrysler? Fat chance with that kind of car design.
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What about the Honda element …. that looks like a Box too…
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Honda element – indeed. And weird, too – I rode in one the other day…you have to open the front doors before you can open the back ones.
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Hey, the PT Cruiser was my wedding car! It was perfect. Right price for a rental (i.e. cheap, we left the country for 8 months of travel right after), touch of class…
And I like the Element – then again, I’m a bad person to talk to about cars. I could care less really
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“I’m a bad person to talk to about cars. I could care less really”
Too bad a certain local police force didn’t care more – they bought a PT Cruiser for the school safety-nazi officer, thinking it would play cool with high school kids. Alas, it didn’t – turned out the real market was 30-40ish old women
That said, my wife rented one and really liked it. And I know a guy who gives mediocre investment advice who drives one =P
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*cries incontrollably at the sight of the new Mini Clubman*
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what about the Toyota FJ Cruiser, they say it has one-of-a-kind styling, i think it looks like a Tonka truck.
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The Fiat Multipla is definitely one of the ugliest, if not THE ugliest car I’ve ever scene. Looking at it just now gave me a headache.
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“The Fiat Multipla is definitely one of the ugliest, if not THE ugliest car I’ve ever scene [sic].”
Dude, what’s NOT to love about a car designed by Dr Seuss?
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Great line about the Smart car being a potentially hideous coffin. Well done.
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you forgot the honda element.
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I love the PT Cruiser! My fave car…I want
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